Social Question

partyrock's avatar

How did you know you would make it if you were stuggling or in a maze?

Asked by partyrock (3865 points ) March 24th, 2012

Were you ever at a point where you had the choice of being unhappy yet stable or being happy yet didn’t know what the outcome would be? Would you rather be stable and stay above water, but very displeased, or happy yet uncertain where your life would take you? How do you know if things would turn out ok if you are struggling?

Have you ever done something else or made a different choice with your life just because it felt right to you? Would you rather stay in a stable job but were very unhappy, or take a chance and do something else?

I’m kind of going through something right now, where I feel like even if I do struggle, I would rather struggle and be happy with where I’m going, than stay somewhere and be unhappy.

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14 Answers

Akua's avatar

I’m going through that right now. And after years of thinking it over I decided that holding on to a job that I hate just because it’s “secure” is crazy. At this point I’d rather stick my neck out and see if I can finally do something I like, even if it means working a little harder or not having as many benefits. Sure I may have to go back to school and that in itself scares the hell out of me but I know it’s the best thing in the long run. At the end of the day I realize that nothing is secure.

partyrock's avatar

That’s the same thing that I’m going through and feel I would rather fly and see the world and grow on my own as a young woman, rather than be secure/safe, doing something that somebody else wants me to do, just because it’s “secure”. Stupid? Dumb? I don’t know.

It might be a stupid risk to venture out on my own, but it’s a risk I’m willing to take.

whitenoise's avatar

In any case… I would choose to be happy.

If that means you need to change your environment, then change it. If it means you have to change the way you look at things, then do that. Or do both.

LuckyGuy's avatar

You are young with lots of choices. Let’s think of a food example
When you’re born, the world and life is totally flexible and fluid – like a glass of water. It can go anywhere. At your age it’s more like warm jello shots. In a few years it will begin to firm like jello, then tofu, then…
If you want to make change it will never be easier than right now.

Learn from the experience and move on. Avoid jerks.
Good luck.

Bellatrix's avatar

I would rather be happy and have my future unclear than unhappy and know life was going to stay that way.

Yes, I have made choices based on gut feelings that I was doing the right thing. I moved from one side of the world to the other on a gut feeling. I changed my career direction completely based on the idea that it was the right thing to do for me and my family.

As @LuckyGuy says, it gets harder to do this as we get older and have laid down more roots. You are young though. Listen to that niggling little feeling that tells you, this is or is not right. Be true to yourself and make decisions based on what is right for you and not because doing something else will please others. I’m not talking about recklessness, you still need to consider the consequences of your actions, but often there is a way back if things don’t work out. So, jump in and see what life has to offer.

dappled_leaves's avatar

It helps me to imagine myself years in the future (sometimes not even that long), looking back at the present situation as a past event. In other words, putting the struggle in the context of a longer life, and taking away the immediate worry about it.

Ron_C's avatar

I would choose being happy and not knowing the outcome. In fact I believe that is the normal human condition. Even stable relationships have an unknown future. That is part of the fun in life; seeing how it all turns out.

Why choose unhappiness when the path of happiness has the same ultimate unknown end?

yankeetooter's avatar

I empathize with you. Several years ago I returned to school to finish my degree (secondary education mathematics). I had dropped out years before because I wasn’t sure what I really wanted to do after having completed some schooling. Now, once again, I find myself questioning if I really want to work in education. I have recently become interested in computer science (the programming end of it). I really want to change my major to computer science, but part of me is hesitant because it would be kind of like starting over. (Not totally, because I have all of my general requirements, and almost all of the math classes completed.)

I am really struggling with “settling”, so I can finish sooner, or making this bold choice, and doing what I really enjoy…

CaptainHarley's avatar

There are no guarantees. There will be new paradigms to which we will have to adapt. Happiness is a state of mind, not the outcome of events, possessions, the actions of others, etc.

LuckyGuy's avatar

By the way… are you aware that you can get out of any maze by simply keeping one hand in contact with the wall and continuously following where it leads? It will likely not be the most direct route but it will get you out of the maze. Knowing that tidbit might give you confidence you need to enter the maze.

yankeetooter's avatar

I’m not sure real life mazes are quite so easy to conquer, @LuckyGuy.

Bellatrix's avatar

I just watched The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel (for the elderly and beautiful) and there was a line in the film that went something like this… “Everything will be alright in the end and if everything is not alright now, then we haven’t reached the end”. So the moral of the story is, as you work your way through the maze that is life, if you haven’t made your way through to the end of a puzzle, keep working on it, keep your hand on that wall and keep moving forward and you will find your way through in the end.

LuckyGuy's avatar

@yankeetooter Yep. In real life you need someone or something to lean against. With the right support you can maneuver any maze.

yankeetooter's avatar

I thought I had found said support after not having any my whole life, @LuckyGuy. Than the support faded away…now I’m lost again.

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