Social Question

Dutchess_III's avatar

Are there really men out there who feel like a man when they make a woman cry?

Asked by Dutchess_III (26700 points ) March 25th, 2012

I have that song, “Workin’ My Way Back To You, Babe,” going around in my head over and over and over and over and OVER agaiiiin so I guess we need to talk about it.

There is a line that says, “I used to love to make you cry—it made me feel like a man inside….”

I know it’s “just a song,” but do you think there are any people in real life that actually feel that way? (I hope she didn’t go back to the asshat!!)

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30 Answers

MilkyWay's avatar

Yes, there are. It makes them feel powerful. They think because they can make a person weaker than them cry, it makes them strong.
I just think that makes them an arsehole.

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

I don’t know about other guys but it crushes me to do that.

john65pennington's avatar

This is the pefect definition of a controlling person(man).

And, yes, they do like to make the woman they love, cry.

Why? It makes them feel like a man inside.

I have always said that a man that hits a woman, will not hit a man.

So true.

Coloma's avatar

It’s called sadism, abuse and control freakery, if not downright sociopathic. Danger, danger…run!

LuckyGuy's avatar

Sadly the world has its share of jerks and shortdicks. It’s up to women to let them die off without mating.

Kardamom's avatar

Some men (and at least one female boss that I had) love to subjugate women and other people that they deem weak or not worthy of respect and to dominate them. Making a woman cry is one of the best things in the world for disgusting people like these. It makes them feel powerful and superior and in control.

ucme's avatar

Oh they’re not men, those individuals go by the name of tinycockfucktards

cookieman's avatar

I actually feel like a man when I make myself cry.

SmashTheState's avatar

I am notorious for making women cry, so much so that several of my friends refused to allow me to be alone with their wives or girlfriends. The problem is that I am both anti-authoritarian and asexual. Women have been socialized into being passive-aggressive, and getting their way through emotional manipulation. Being immune to both their charms and their threats, most women find me threatening. They have been taught through both socialization and experience that their ultimate “nuclear deterrent” is tears. The typical westernized woman believes that the sight of tears will horrify and panic most sexist, westernized men – and they’re right. Unfortunately for them, I am unmoved by emotional blackmail, which usually induces hysterics and seething, incandescent rage.

I’ll give you an example of what I mean.

Some years ago, after an organizing meeting, a bunch of us ended up in a bar. The discussion turned to free speech, and I made reference to a recent Kanadian Supreme Court case where they ruled that a man who had been charged with producing hand-drawn child pornography for the sole purpose of self-titillation and had never shown it nor intended to show it to any other person, had not committed a criminal act.

As folks on Fluther know, I take my civil liberties very seriously. I was and am totally in support of people being able to express themselves, even and especially when it makes a lot of people very angry. My opinion was not very popular at a table full of college leftists, and after a vigorous and increasingly acrimonious argument, my main opponent began crying. “No, no,” she said, holding up a hand and turning away theatrically, “don’t worry about me. I’m okay. It’s just that I’m a survivor of sexual abuse, that’s all.”

This sort of emotional blackmail and utterly cynical crocodile tears infuriate me. Especially since it carries with it the arrogance that she’s the only one at the table to have experienced sexual abuse as a child (she wasn’t; I have abuse in my own childhood, and don’t need to put it on display to attract pity), and we should all coddle her like a delicate porcelain doll.

I coldly informed her that she was welcome to weep all the wanted, and that it didn’t bother me at all. Although this is exactly what she claimed I should do, you can imagine the responses I got. And when she realized her tears hadn’t caused my face to melt off like I’d opened the Ark of the Covenant, she flew into a fury and stormed out.

Leaping to the defence of the poor wittle delicate girlies is far more vicious and patriarchal than inducing someone to spout manipulative tears.

Dutchess_III's avatar

^^^^ There’s one right there, guys.

Kardamom's avatar

Oh yeah, I forgot that some people don’t have any empathy and don’t understand subtlety and they don’t realize that most women don’t cry because they’re trying to manipulate anyone. Most women cry because they are 1: hurt or 2: angry or 3 very afraid.

People that don’t mind hurting/scaring women scare the hell out of me.

Plus no one wants to be around them

LuckyGuy's avatar

@SmashTheState So how’s that workin’ for you?

You’re still one of people here I’d like to meet for lunch. I’ll be sure to come alone. ;-)

Earthgirl's avatar

Funny you should ask this. I was just watching this video by Dane Cook last night….hmmm, listen to it and weep.

Dutchess_III's avatar

I’ve never cried for manipulation purposes.

Earthgirl's avatar

Adirondackwannabe How bad is what? Dane Cook is funny but sort of discomfits me. He doesn’t seem to really esteem women at all. There are comedians who are funny and bring up things that are universal and understandable, and then there are those who seem irremediably angry and a little hateful. Dean Cook, funny as he is, strikes me as the latter.

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

@Earthgirl I wanted to tap into it, but I didn’t want anything hateful now. That’s too cruel for me to handle now.

wundayatta's avatar

Good lord. I have made women cry while trying my hardest not to. Fortunately, sometimes they cry in happiness.

It is trivially easy to make a woman cry. What is hard is making a man cry! Now, that’s how you know who a real asshole man is!

Dutchess_III's avatar

It’s not easy to make me cry. And if I did you wouldn’t know about it.

augustlan's avatar

There definitely are men like that out there.

I don’t think that @SmashTheState was saying he enjoys making women cry, just that he’s utterly unaffected by it. That said, I would never use tears (or any other method) for manipulation. I cry for lots of reasons, but manipulation isn’t one of them.

Earthgirl's avatar

It’s not good to make someone cry. Obviously. But maybe it makes us feel powerful that we can have such an effect on a person.

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

@Earthgirl That’s interesting. But the power thing is cool.

wundayatta's avatar

I generally find it quite painful if a woman is crying because of me. I have a good deal of experience with silent criers, too.

Symbeline's avatar

@Kardamom Truth. Some people might be manipulative, and use emotions to mess with people. I certainly do not believe that this encompasses the majority of womankind, though. Nor do I believe that every man who makes a woman cry is out for power. Sometimes shit just happens, someone says the wrong thing…I’m more worried about men giving their wives a black eye anshit. Not that I don’t believe that emotional manipulation exists, it certainly does…but I’m not entirely sure that most people have a 100% rule over theirs, and someone else’s emotional states to work em as they will as if they were making a simple sandwich.
Although I will admit, those who can are probably some freaky buggers.

Dutchess_III's avatar

My son’s ex-frightened really thinks that if she just blubbers her head off everyone will feel sorry for her and give her what she wants. In reality everyone is just shaking their heads in disgust.

cheebdragon's avatar

Yeah, unfortunately my boyfriend has a friend who likes to make his girlfriend cry. It’s really fucked up, I can only assume he does it to make himself feel better about possibly having a micropenis or something equally embarrassing.

cheebdragon's avatar

@Earthgirl Ahahaha I always loved that one….. “I can’t just go Kim, it’s not that simple, my CDs are in his truck. I can’t just walk away from 40 or 50 CDs. It’s gonna take 2 or 3 more years of abuse until I can leave with my CDs.”

Coloma's avatar

I do’;t ever cry to manipulate, I do cry out of frustration at not being heard or understood. Most women cry out of frustration than most men are such emotional retards. lol

cheebdragon's avatar

@Coloma Emotionally challenged is probably more PC.

Coloma's avatar

@cheebdragon Haha, true, but sometimes one just has to not mince words.

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