Send to a Friend

Jude's avatar

How can I change my negative attitude towards men?

Asked by Jude (32198points) April 6th, 2012

I grew up with a father who was verbally and emotionally abusive towards my mother, he cheated on her and was an absent father. My older brother molested me at a young age. My father continues to be difficult (he’s 73) and my brother is a Debbie Downer, odd and someone who still tries to be involved in my life. He’s depressing.

My mom (who is now deceased) finally gained some self-esteem when she was around 30 (after having 4 kids and living with my dad) and decided that she wasn’t going to put up with my father ways. They stayed married, though (despite the fact that my siblings begged her to leave him). She went on to get a degree, had a great job and was an amazing mother to us kids. My Dad acted like a victim whenever my mother pointed out the fact that he was neglecting his children. He acted as though he was being punished..

Anyhow, I could go on..

I lost my wonderful mother, and now my older sister whom I was extremely close to is going through a difficult time and will never be the same. I won’t ever get back the person that she was. The two positive family members are now gone from my life and I am left with the male figures.

I find that whenever I encounter anyone even remotely like my father or brother, I immediately don’t like them.

I plan on discussing these issues with a therapist, but would love to hear from you all.

Thanks.

Using Fluther

or

Using Email

Separate multiple emails with commas.
We’ll only use these emails for this message.