I don’t know why, but I woke up thinking about this post. (Rest easy: I didn’t dream about you, but I woke up thinking of this post. Huge difference.)
It’s very fashionable for many girls and young women to make up their faces and dress as some of the media images they see: actresses, models and singers who often have to appear “larger than life” to attract attention. That’s part of their chosen profession: they have to attract attention in order to sell product, whatever the product happens to be. Sex sells, so… a lot of these women tart themselves up to push whatever it is they’re pushing. If you’re not in any media business, then the only real reason for you to choose this look (in my mind, anyway) is because it seems to be “popular”. That is, you see it so often, right?
A lot of us men are pretty simple. The women appear this way to attract attention because it works. They get our attention. I’m as bad at times as most men; I’m interested in sex and tarty-looking women – as eye candy, anyway, and for a few minutes at a time. But aside from the titillation and initial impression of “candy”, I still prefer a healthy diet. I’m more into whole grains, smaller portions and healthier foods in any case. I may be interested in the dessert tray; it sure is appealing sometimes! But I really go for a good salad.
To continue the metaphor: A dessert confection could never make it as a salad! Salads are made of fresh vegetables and fruit, simply cut up and arranged in an attractive display (and with minimal dressing, but we don’t have to continue the metaphor that far!), or not even “arranged” at all, but simply tossed together more or less haphazardly… but it looks so good that way! Salads are what desserts wish they could be.
Okay, the metaphor is getting pretty thin. You’re not a salad; how silly is that?
There are parallels, though. You don’t appear to be overly made up. You didn’t spend hours on your hair, I think. “Fresh”, “healthy” and “wholesome” are adjectives that could easily apply to your look. “Beautiful” certainly applies.
“Tarty” might grab a boy’s or a man’s interest for a quick look, but “beautiful” can hold it for good. It’s your choice, but when you go “tarty” it can be hard to go back. Whoever is damning you with the faint praise of “cute” and “innocent” either doesn’t know you or is too lazy or unimaginative to come up with better adjectives. (For me it’s the former: I don’t know you other than through this forum.)
But there’s more: What if you lost your good looks? You can’t go through much of your life relying on “cute” or “pretty”. And someday you won’t be innocent – and/or may not “look” innocent, either – what then? My advice is to take reasonable, minimal care of how you look – whether you’re “interesting” or not is hardly relevant to much of your life – but be “interested”. That is, be interested in other people and their problems and accomplishments, be curious about the world and be interested in working in it. That’s where you’ll find your satisfaction. And beauty.
Composing members:
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