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emeraldisles's avatar

What is wrong with introversion in society?

Asked by emeraldisles (1939 points ) May 1st, 2012

I’m a young adult and regard myself as having strong morals and ethics. I don’t ever plan on drinking because I’ve encountered alcoholism in my own family.I’ve accepted myself as a quiet, introverted person. That’s not changing. I will speak up when I see injustice or need to find out information.Howver, I’ve never felt like I’ve belonged in society. Case in point, I have never had the desire or interest in dating the opposite sex or any gender at all, don’t believe marriage is for everyone, and don’t want children. I’m more of a fun Aunt or cousin.Howver, I really have an interest in volunteering in some capacity that’s going to be more fulfilling. I want to give back in some way.Why does it seem so hard for me to find something I’m passionate about? Please don’t say I’m going to change my find regarding my personal choices.

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15 Answers

SpatzieLover's avatar

There’s nothing wrong with being introverted, as long as you don’t allow yourself to use it as an excuse to avoidance.

Use the strengths you have to your best ability.

You might want to check out this thread, take the MBTI personality test and see what careers best align with you. If you are still in school, you should discuss your personality and skills with a guidance counselor to help direct you to the best path.

tom_g's avatar

Nothing. You might find this video interesting.

lifeflame's avatar

I count myself an introvert too, and I find myself incredibly content in puttering around the house. Some days I, too, wonder if I could happily do just that for the rest of my life.

About finding something you are passionate about, have you considered taking up a creative activity (e.g., writing, photography, etc)? You could combine this with your social action. What kind of issues have you felt the need to speak up for, recently?

Also, I find it helpful for me to have a disciplined practice that I can return to day after day. For me, it’s tai chi. Meditation also springs to mind.

flutherother's avatar

There is nothing wrong with introversion unless you feel it is a problem and you would like to be more outspoken. People are different and carve out whatever role suits them in society, whatever makes them happy. If it’s volunteering then go for it. Give it a try.

Aethelflaed's avatar

There’s nothing wrong with it; I myself am an introvert. Though, it sounds like maybe anti-social (not like sociopath, just, not social) and asexual might be better descriptors?

It sounds like you’re passionate about injustice. So, you could get involved with social justice – maybe there’s an organization near you for childfree people, or marriage alternatives, or something?

emeraldisles's avatar

I just don’t like being in large groups of people and never had. I prefer being around only a couple of people who aren’t going to judge me or force me into anything. I was curious about the respones though. I have grown up as an only child and wouldn’t change that at all.

Jeruba's avatar

Put “introvert” into the search box for this site and you’ll find other threads that pertain to this topic. Here’s one.

gondwanalon's avatar

Being introverted is just one of a number of behavioral strategies that help some people to navigate our world. I’m introverted also but manage to incorporate much passion into my life.

If you haven’t done so lately, then it would not hurt to get a medical check-up. As a young adult, your total lack of interest in any sexual relationship is like a red flag that something may be wrong with you physiologically. Be sure to mention that to your doctor.

Good health to you!

emeraldisles's avatar

What’s wrong with not ever wanting to engage in sexual activity? Not everyone acts on it. My doctor says I’m perfectly healthy, and just keep talking to my therapist.

wallabies's avatar

There’s nothing wrong with introversion, although I find that in our culture it can be easier to be an extrovert! I don’t think that introversion accounts for everything you describe, however. There are other factors at play to attribute most of them to, most likely.

food's avatar

I think it´s a good idea to complete an interests/aptitude/personality test (that previous people have already mentioned) to get to know yourself better; it will be very useful to you. It sounds like it´s just as important for you to look for volunteering jobs that don´t involve interacting with large groups of people, as it is to find the actual type of organization you would like to support. Here´s a couple of quizzes I just found about volunteering: a) http://www.quibblo.com/quiz/12r8Mt7/What-Type-of-Volunteer-Work-Should-You-Do b) http://volunteering.city.ac.uk/inspiration/volunteer/volunteering-quiz.aspx
Another website also recommended looking for organizations close to you. That could be a starting point…

Supacase's avatar

There is nothing wrong with it but there is a stigma associated with it. I think it is because we’re not out there being seen as much as extroverts so we are considered unusual or less common. Some people just can’t understand being happy alone and assume there is some negative explanation.

Bellatrix's avatar

I am regularly stunned by the questions and comments that come up here from introverts suggesting there is something wrong with introversion. I seem to recall seeing a few comments of this type? I am an extrovert, it is just part of my personality. It makes me no better or worse than anyone else. I can’t say I have ever seen a post with someone saying “is there something wrong with being an extrovert”. There is absolutely nothing wrong with being an introvert. As @SpatzieLover suggested, if you use your introversion as an excuse to avoid life and living your life to the fullest, there is a problem with that.

Look at that thread @SpatzieLover directed you too and notice how many introverts there are here on Fluther. Do they all seem to have something wrong with them? Or do they seem like bright, intelligent, funny and amazing people?

As to finding something you are passionate about, look at some volunteering sites. See what sparks your interest. Try different things. You don’t have to be loud about it, you just have to give things a go. You sound perfectly normal to me. Young and still finding your path in the world. It will happen. In the meantime, enjoy trying new things out and see what fits you. No need for you to be loud about it at all.

gondwanalon's avatar

I honestly wish you the best of good luck and good health.

I never dated women when I was in college or for the first few years after college while working. Friends and family even accused me of being gay. I wasn’t gay. I was working very hard to reach certain goals. I just didn’t have the time or the money for sexual adventures and also being introverted and shy didn’t help. The key here is that I always had the desire for social activities/dating with the opposite sex. I just prioritized what was most important to me at the time.

Also be careful about doctors as some are better than others. 4 years ago I injured my hamstring muscles in my right leg from a slip-fall accident. My family practice doctor examined that injury within 2 hours of the accident and also 2 other times a week later and assured me that it was just a muscle pull and that this type of injury will take a long time to recover from. 18 months later I finally showed my injury to an orthopedic surgeon who told me that I had ripped two hamstring muscle nearly in half and it was too bad that I didn’t see him sooner because he could have helped me. Also I suffered and I mean really suffered with heart atrial fibrillation for 9 years under the care of one cardiologist. I finally fired him and got a second opinion from a different cardiologist who totally cured my atrial fibrillation problem in 6 hours.

Paradox25's avatar

Nothing, as long as you’re happy with yourself. I can identify with what you’re saying though, since I can go long periods of time without social interaction, and I’m definitely not relationship needy. I’ve been accused of being gay myself by other narrow minded idiots who just don’t seem to have the mental capacity to understand that not everyone enjoys doing what they do.

The problem here is with the people who just can’t accept others for who they are, not yourself. There is nothing wrong or inferior with introversion. I think that many of us introverts have a genuine interest in helpng others too, but we tend to do it in our own ways rather than showboat. Good question, and cheers to you.

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