Social Question

AshlynM's avatar

What do you think of putting children on a leash when they go outside or for a walk?

Asked by AshlynM (6625 points ) May 12th, 2012

The leash is probably to prevent them from running off, correct? I’ve only seen a handful of young kids on leashes up until this point in my life.

Do you think it’s wrong or you don’t care either way?

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105 Answers

AshLeigh's avatar

It’s not like they put it around the child’s neck. It’s attached to a backpack that the kid wears. It doesn’t hurt them, so I don’t see why people freak out about it.

whitenoise's avatar

Just be careful with going on and off of elevators and busses. ;-)

We used it for our twins to prevent one running off one way while the other one was running off to somewhere else.

Coloma's avatar

I never had the desire to leash my toddler, but, I can see how some parents might feel somehow more secure in doing so.
I can understand using them with twins as @whitenoise mentioned. THAT would make sense when trying to wrangle two little ones at the same time. lol

Bellatrix's avatar

I tried this with my very rumbustious, two year old son. It was a disaster. He could climb out of his stroller and would then run off through the shopping centre. I would then have to drop the stroller, my shopping, my handbag and run after him. So, I tried the leash thing. No. He was not having a bar of that. So, we didn’t go shopping on our own until he got out of that little habit.

My feeling is I would rather they wore a leash than ended up under a car or in danger. Hence my attempt with my son.

JLeslie's avatar

I’m fine with it.

cazzie's avatar

My little guy has NO FEAR. Never had it. Still, at 7 doesn’t fully grasp the repercussions of his actions. I only used a leash when I took him to the US when he was around 18 months. I was travelling alone with him and it was so necessary in the airports. He didn’t really seem to mind it. I kept it handy during that trip, just in case, but I didn’t use it as much as I thought I would. I think he would have worked out a way to wriggle out of it if I had used it more.

PurpleClouds's avatar

It’s horrible in my opinion. And, I had one of those kids who only did one thing when his feet hit the floor——- run!! Both my sister and my daughter used those harness w/leash gettups on their children. I don’t like them and didn’t use one. I just chased my kids. It kept me in shape.

Brian1946's avatar

Apparently my father thought it was okay.

I think it’s preferable to a child being hit by a car, abducted, etc.

Bellatrix's avatar

You were very cute @Brian1946.

JLeslie's avatar

The leash gives a little more freedom ironically than having to hold a parents hand.

lillycoyote's avatar

@Brian1946 You were very cute. At least your dad didn’t harness you to a sled. :-)

Anyway, I don’t see anything intrinsically horrible about it. I try not to second guess people too much on what they do with their children as long as it doesn’t involve abuse or neglect. If someone had a child on a leash, tied up to a park bench, where they were sitting and talking on their cell, that would be a different story.

YARNLADY's avatar

A leash saved my son’s life when we went camping near a river. He went near the bank and slipped in the mud. If he wasn’t on a leash, he would have fallen in the river and been swept away.

Both my grandson’s have been leashed when we take them for a walk. No amount of chasing will keep them from darting out in front of a car if they are running down the street and the car backs out of the drive way.

creative1's avatar

I got one when my daughter started running off the minute I put her down, I think they are a wonderful thing. Its better than the child running into a street or parking lot and getting hit by a car.

FutureMemory's avatar

To those that have used leashes: did your child become excited when he or she saw the leash?

ccrow's avatar

I didn’t use a leash as such, but I did have a little harness thingy that could have been used as one. I used it in grocery cart seats, so my kids couldn’t climb out. (The carts haven’t always had their own seat belts!)

Bellatrix's avatar

Excited isn’t the right word. He would not wear it except at home with his sisters to play horsey.

zensky's avatar

Freaks me out. Not judging – it just does.

mangeons's avatar

I don’t see why so many people have a problem with it. Of course it’s not ideal, but if your kid is always running off, I’d say it’s much better to have a way to keep them with you and safe than for them to end up getting hurt/etc. because they managed to slip away from you. Plus, it’s just a backpack, it’s not like the leash is around their neck and choking them or anything.

jca's avatar

We used one for my daughter for that time period (around between 1½ and 2½) when they just want to run run run and know no danger. It was the one that looks like a teddy bear or a monkey with a long tail, and the tail is the leash.

@FutureMemory: My daughter seemed to feel it was a fun backpack (which it was) so she enjoyed wearing it.

As @JLeslie said, it’s better than holding hands, because it gives the child two free hands for holding stuff and exploring. Also, when hand-holding, the child can yank or shake their hand free, and run, whereas with the backpack/leash, they are barely aware of it and they can’t run free. The main thing is that you want your child safe but that age is an age where they want to run, walk, be independent, no longer carried. If it keeps the child safe and alive, it’s a good thing.

ragingloli's avatar

It is a disgrace and it shows your complete failure as a parent.

A leader leads by example not by force. – Sun Tzu

If words of command are not clear and distinct, if orders are not thoroughly understood, the general is to blame. – Sun Tzu

cookieman's avatar

I personally don’t like them – but then, we were lucky enough to have a daughter who never ran off. She was either clutching our hand or riding my shoulders.

If she had been a different kind of toddler, I may feel differently.

creative1's avatar

@jca We had the monkey, I had my daughter pick hers out at the store. She really liked it and thought of it more as a backpack and not a leash.

jca's avatar

@creative1: Exactly!

majorrich's avatar

There was a short time between when my son was too big for the stroller and old enough to know to stay with us that we used a harness/leash. I don’t recall as having to use it for very long. We certainly used it in the airport, and early on at the fair when he was likely to wander off into the teeming crown only to be eaten by the zombies. He soon learned to stay within sight and we didn’t use it any more. When sometimes later he got rambunctious, up on the shoulders he would go.

digitalimpression's avatar

My son is special needs so we use something like this. It’s either that or he will get excited and run out into traffic. I just ignore the people who snub their nose at us. They don’t know anything.

marinelife's avatar

I don’t tink kids were meant to be on leashes,

majorrich's avatar

Now, a choker chain is a different matter entirely.

Kayak8's avatar

All my kids have 4 legs and have been trained from a very young age not to run out in traffic, etc. They don’t need the leashes, but my town requires them.

gailcalled's avatar

When my son was a rambunctious toddler, he used to rush off to explore open manholes and sewer gratings. I used a little harness and leash on him for about a year.

We always walked with a friend who had two little girls; they stayed close to their mom and never were naughty.

ragingloli's avatar

Children are born scientists. They explore, discover, experiment. By putting them on leashes, you are sabotaging our scientific future.

jca's avatar

@ragingloli: They can’t be scientists if they’re dead.

Sunny2's avatar

I never considered using a leash, but I certainly understand why some parents needed to. The leash is a practical solution to a problem. It’s like a mobile playpen. Keeps the kid safe and the parent calm.

tinyfaery's avatar

Just like pets: If children do not behave it’s the fault of the caretaker not the child. I think it’s lazy parenting.

digitalimpression's avatar

@tinyfaery I get looks “down the nose” from people all the time with the same perspective on things. Perhaps sometimes it’s just not lazy parenting. It’s not as if these kids are running wild and tugging at the leash like a rabid rottweiler. It’s just a precaution. One that comes in quite handy in my situation.

I’d be more concerned about parents who dress their kids up like madonna and parade them around on a stage like poodles at a dog show..

The “leashes” certainly don’t “sabotage our scientific future”. What kind of lunacy is that? xD

LuckyGuy's avatar

A great idea that looks terrible. The opposite of high heels!

jerv's avatar

I wholeheartedly endorse leash laws for small children for a variety of reasons.

@ragingloli Scientists learn safety protocols/equipment. How many times have you seen a scientist use gloves, goggles, aprons to be safe? Or have signs telling you not to put your hand here, or not to look into the beam?
There are places where you can let your kid off the leash, but next to a busy 6-lane street or in a crowded store full of potential kidnappers, I think it best if we not allow them to run into danger. And until they get a little older/wiser, a leash is the most viable solution to keep your tyke from running off into danger.

tranquilsea's avatar

My middle child used to think it was fun to run away from me. So from the time she was about 18 mos. old to when she was closer to 4 I had her on a leash. I’d rather deal with the strange looks from strangers than have a dead child on my hands.

majorrich's avatar

The restraint devices we used looked like a little vest or safety harness that had a hook on the back where the leash (as it were ) was attached. Later we used like a coiled string that velcroed around his little wrist and the other end to mama. Only needed it for about a year or so until Will learned to stay close. We took a cruise when he was 4 and were very careful to use them around the docks and crowded areas where we were in a foreign country and the potential of his seeing something interesting and just darting off were very high. I almost take offense to the accusation of bad parenting. We were being cautious and vigilant with someone very precious to us.

mazingerz88's avatar

Yes, especially for the kid in this story I’m working on. He’s a kid werewolf and his name’s Wolfie. : )

YARNLADY's avatar

My sons loved their leash. It was attached to a back pack and didn’t even look like a harness. When they go to the age where they could be trusted to carry their own leash, they chose to do that for several months.

Being on a leash enables them to explore much more of their world than being confined to a stroller or holding hands with their parent. It also keeps them safe from would-be kidnappers, who can strike in a crowded mall in seconds.

gailcalled's avatar

Without the leash, I would have had to keep my little guy in a fenced-in yard until he was 4. It seemed, and still seems a reasonable and safe solution.

ratboy's avatar

Choke chains are a better option for outdoors; indoors—just nail his tiny foot to the floor.

gailcalled's avatar

^^ predictably fatuous

ratboy's avatar

^^predictably pretentious and condescending

Dutchess_III's avatar

It’s fine. Especially if you’re in a crowd, like at the fair or something.

Dutchess_III's avatar

My immigrant, farmer Gramma used to tie the toddlers to a tree while she was working outside!

deni's avatar

So awkward to look at. That’s how I feel. Okay and I guess if I’m being honest I might subconsciously think “why can’t you control your kid without a dog leash?”

Dr_Lawrence's avatar

Except in cases where the child is in some manner sensorily or cognitively impaired, or where the caregiver is deaf or mute, I see no need for a leash to be used. If a child can not follow instructions when walking in public, they should be allowed to ride in a stroller or be carried by the caregiver. A leash is not a suitable method of training a child. It does work wonders when properly used in training dogs and horses until they learn to respond to verbal cues.

Dutchess_III's avatar

@deni… Do you have kids?
@Dr_Lawrence A leash isn’t used to “train.” It’s used to constrain a hyperactive two year old in a crowded situation who isn’t going to always sit quietly in a stroller.

Dr_Lawrence's avatar

Unless the child is seriously impaired, competent parents can manage their child’s behaviour in public places. It requires a set of skills that have to be learned well and systematically applied.
Except when travelling in motor vehicles or by air, restraints should not normally be used. Parenting skills are not inborn, we have to learn them either by example or by formal training. Where parents fail to make the effort to learn suitable skills they may resort to other improvised methods to protect their children. Their desire to protect their children is no here being questioned, but their methods are.

DaphneT's avatar

The parent needs a way to keep their child safe while letting them build their skills and most children want to walk, not be in a stroller or car-seat, judging from the amount of screaming that occurs when they enter a store.

Up until the early 1900’s, children just walking and up to 3 or 4 were on leading strings. This allowed the mother or nanny to keep them out of the fires, out from under horses hooves and wagon wheels. So after about two or so years on a lead, they had learned enough to be on their own. How are today’s “leases” any different?

Dutchess_III's avatar

GA @DaphneT. I have a feeling that @Dr_Lawrence left the raising of the children to the kid’s mother. No one who has ever actually raised a child can be so certain of their own expertise.

deni's avatar

@Dutchess_III No so of course my opinion is not very credible or based on experience, but to answer the question, that’s the first thing that comes to mind. I wasn’t raised on a leash though….so when you do need to put your kid on a leash, why is it? I’m asking this honestly, I am curious.

majorrich's avatar

See them a lot at amusement parks.

Imadethisupwithnoforethought's avatar

I had 4 kids under 5 at one point. Monkey leashes at airports and fairs, and anywhere someone could grab one and disappear into a crowd.

Bellatrix's avatar

I described a situation @Deni. My son had been perfectly well behaved until his (now my ex) father encouraged him to climb out of his stroller. I used to go and do the shopping just with my son but my husband had been on holiday and came with us. I warned him he was setting me up for disaster.

Sure enough, the next time my son and I went shopping, he climbed out of his stroller (aged about 2) and ran off down the busy shopping mall. I had to drop everything and chase after him. He was very strong and very fast. I got him back, put him in his stroller and the went to climb straight out again. So, I went to the chemist to buy a harness/leash. There were car parks outside the automatic doors and if he ran out there… he would have been killed.

It didn’t work because he threw a complete tantrum and wouldn’t wear it and I had to call my sister to get her to come and help me, with my bags of shopping and my son back to my car. I did not dare try to take him into the car park in that mood and while he wouldn’t stay in his stroller.

What would you do in such a situation? Little children can be unpredictable. They are learning about their world. They have no fear. He learned he could get out of his stroller and suddenly, freedom! He thought it was a game and he wasn’t old enough to rationalise with.

My daughters had been easy to manage. I never judge other parents for such things. I doubt there is a parent out there who uses a leash to punish their child. I would say in every case it is about keeping them safe.

Dutchess_III's avatar

@Bellatrix I agree. They have no fear. They are, actually, a lot like puppies and kittens…clueless. And they respond to the same disciplines.

@deni In crowded areas like airports, fairs, where ever they could get lost in a sea of people. It would be appropriate in department stores where if you turn your back for literally 2 seconds to look at something, they could disappear. They might take off of their own accord but the end might be something completely out of their, and your, control. Think of Adam Walsh.

I would have to ask those who feel that “leashes” are inappropriate…is tying them down to a stroller inappropriate? Is putting them in a cage at bedtime or nap time inappropriate?

deni's avatar

A CAGE? Doesn’t that border on insane

Dutchess_III's avatar

Actually, we humans call it a CRIB. Same concept, different term.

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

I don’t understand why people use them. I would never do that with my kids. If they can’t walk by me without dashing off in front of cars, that’s my bad parenting’s fault. If they don’t agree to walk by my side, they are staying home.

Imadethisupwithnoforethought's avatar

@Simone_De_Beauvoir Ok, maybe I wasn’t clear. I don’t worry that my children will do bad things. I had a lot of them, and I was worried about what other people will do.

I was aware people thought I would be a bad parent. I was also aware that if something ever happened to my kids, I would, in point of fact, have been a bad parent.

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

@Imadethisupwithnoforethought Look, it shouldn’t matter to you what I do as a parent. If you want to use the leash, use the leash. I just instinctively cannot make sense of such an action. That’s it. I do not think my children should be put on a leash, period. In any way.

Dutchess_III's avatar

Should they be put in a cage when they’re babies @Simone_De_Beauvoir?

jca's avatar

@Simone_De_Beauvoir: Usually, kids of the age that use the leash are not old enough to understand “if they don’t agree to walk by my side.” They’re usually around 18 months, not really old enough to understand agreements and “deals.”

My daughter is a good child, according to all who care for her. However, when she was between around 18 months and 2½ years (about a one year period), she was becoming independent in that she didn’t necessarily want to be in the stroller, but yet she knew no fear, and would impulsively just start running, for the fun of it or to go look at something. I might be shopping, in a mall or in a store, and all of a sudden this baby just takes off. No matter if I had stuff in my hand, no matter if I was at the cashier completing a transaction, no matter what, she was taking off. In a parking lot, it’s absolutely not a risk that I or most parents could take. Unless I wanted her to get lost or kidnapped, or unless I was able to arrange childcare or not go out, the leash was the safest option.

hearkat's avatar

I used one very early in my son’s toddlerhood until he learned to hold hands when told to. He was active and impulsive, but we were very strict – especially where safety was concerned. We gave him plenty of supervised play time in safe environments where he had free range, so walks were simply for the purpose of getting safely from point A to B.

Dutchess_III's avatar

@Simone_De_Beauvoir You said “If they don’t agree to walk by my side, they are staying home.” With whom are they staying home with?

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

@Dutchess_III They’re staying home with us. And yes, I don’t think putting babies into a crib is the same as putting them on a leash. If you need validation for your decision to like the leash, look elsewhere. Plenty of people agree with the idea. Don’t nit-pick my decision to not use it. Yes, yes, everyone who uses it are wonderful parents. Can I go now?

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

@jca When my kids are young and they’re walking, I hold their hand. I am sure you and your daughter are good parent and child.

Coloma's avatar

When my daughter was two I babysat a neighbors two year old 3 days a week while she went to classes. One day I took the girls out for a walk around the neighborhood and, all of a sudden, one went one way and the other way. OMG! Good thing I was faster than they. lol

The neighbors child ran up into another persons yard and my daughter went after a kitty she saw. Took about 3 minutes to herd up the strays, no imminent danger, but…stressful to say the least.
Another time, same age of two, I ‘lost” my daughter in a dept. store while looking at carpet samples. Everyone was on high alert looking and looking. Found her UNDER another carpet sample rack happily hiding. lol

augustlan's avatar

I seriously considered using one… I had three children under 4 years of age. I was vastly outnumbered! I disliked the idea, to be honest, so I resisted.

Once, when I was hugely pregnant with my third child, the middle one ran off out of a store in the mall. I had to run down the concourse chasing her. That was the end of shopping with them, until after I’d recovered from delivering #3. If things like that had happened often, I’m pretty sure I’d have reconsidered a harness. Much as I don’t like the idea, I’d vastly prefer to keep my kids safe.

In the 70s, my aunt actually duct-taped her toddler son to the grocery cart to keep him from climbing out/running off. She, um, got a lot of stares for that.

Leanne1986's avatar

I’m assuming you mean this type of thing?! I don’t see any harm in them at all, although I don’t think they should be used instead of teaching your child about not running off or crossing the road safely etc from a young age but used as well as.

Sadly, a 3 year old boy was recently killed by a car not far from where I live a few days ago. This type of tragedy makes me favour toddler reigns.

digitalimpression's avatar

@Leanne1986

This is the one I keep picturing.

JLeslie's avatar

I am not a parent as you know, but interestingly in NYC I don’t think I have ever seen a child on a leash. I have never seen a child running down a block with their parent chasing them or the child darting into a street. I have never seen a kid driving a parent nuts running around in Bloomingdale’s or Macy’s. It must happen I am sure, but I have never been witness to it. I have seen these thinngs in the suburbs. In fact, when I worked at Bloomingdale’s in the suburbs (which of course means I am going to see more of it because I am there 5 days a week) I would even have children playing on the escalator and the parents barely paid attention sometimes (more often they did pay attention, but it was amazing how often they didn’t) when they were not keeping an eye on the kids well, or did not think the act dangerous, we as employees had to stop the children. Verbally, we were not physically touching them. Once in a while the parents seemed annoyed we said something, but many times they said, “see, I told you you cannot play on the escalator.”

My point is, rather guess is, maybe children who always have a lot of rules regarding how to behave when out n the street and in public, which city children have, go outside they do as expected? And, kids who have more freedom generally are less likely? I am not saying it is a parenting thing, at least not the majority of the time, just the circumstance of the different lifestyles,

When I was in Tokyo, another very busy city, I did not see children leashed, except nursery school children one day, I think it was six children leashed together to one teacher, two teachers with a set of children each. That seemed completely reasonable to me too.

jca's avatar

@digitalimpression: That’s it. Looks like a backpack/stuffed animal, kid thinks it’s a fun toy.

Dutchess_III's avatar

@JLeslie Sure, we teach our kids rules. It’s during the training process that a parent might resort to other methods to keep the child safe until he has learned those rules. If you go for a walk, say, with a two year old in a stroller, and a 9 month old in a backpack (been there,done that,) and the two year old really, REALLY wanted to walk instead of ride, I’d use a leash in a heartbeat, along with verbal directions (that’s the training part). I wouldn’t have to worry about the child suddenly running in the street unexpectedly (which, BTW, is a spanking infraction.)

gailcalled's avatar

My son was walking at 11 months and on the run by 14 months; too early to teach but too old to keep him fenced in. It was not a dog collar with a leather strap attached but the nice little harness showed above with a longer rein.

By the time he was two and a half or thereabouts, we unleashed him. Our first trip to the emergency room was when he was three and a half; he fell while ice skating and put his teeth through his lower lip. On the trip home from the hospital, he chewed through the stitches. I turned around and drove back but the doctors said that there was nothing to be down. He carried the small scar always.

We do the best we can.

JLeslie's avatar

@Dutchess_III I am not saying you don’t teach your kids those things, I am saying they don’t have to practice the behaviors every time they walk out the door like city kids. When my family moved from NY to MD I remember my mom saying, “the kids play in the street?” we had never heard of a such a thing. There are parts of NY that have dead ends or slow streets where kids might play, but for the most part it isn’t done. And, I grew up in the “suburbs” of NY when I was very little, but it was still very urban.

A child that negotiates escalators all the time, will be better at getting on and off. When I lived in MI all the malls near me were one story, I don’t think I road an escalator for the three years I lived there. A new thing like moving stairs is pretty cool to a kid. If he road one 6 times by the time he is 6 because he walked through an airport, I am not so sure he has the rules in his head so well.

Dutchess_III's avatar

I’m not sure what you’re referring too.

Hey…if mom or dad had one end of the “leash” wrapped and velcored around her or his wrist, and the other end was wrapped and Velcroed around the child’s wrist, would that be acceptable?

Dr_Lawrence's avatar

@Dutchess_III I was not only the primary caregiver to my children when they were young, but I had virtually no help from their mother. I had to know what I was doing and I had to get it right to keep them safe and to keep them learning how to behave in public. They were no angels, but I never ever resorted to a leash! If the child would not behave in a situation, they would be removed from the situation even if I had to abandon the current activity even if I had to go back at a later date to complete the task. It is about determining whether parents make the decisions or if children are allowed to dictate what the parents do. It involves touch but kind choices. Children thrive when they have the structure they need.

YARNLADY's avatar

Those people who say teach the child obviously never had a boisterous, extremely active two year old. Teaching takes time, and you don’t have the time to teach a child who has already darted out under a car.

I had one of each, my first son would do exactly as he was told everywhere we went. If I told him to stand still, he would; if I told him not to touch, he wouldn’t. The next one was exactly the opposite and his sons take after him.

They are taught, and eventually did learn to mind, but in the meantime, they were leashed.

JLeslie's avatar

@Dutchess_III Were you addressing me in your last post? I didn’t understand your response. Plus, I wanted to add I know there will still be obstinent kids who will run and do as they please, or push their parents to see the limits. Even the best parents can have a child who does these things more than other children. This is why I don’t judge anyone who uses a leash. And, honestly, I am very understanding of parents who just might not want to have to keep an eye on their kids as vigilantely one day as other day. If the leash gives the parent a little bit of a break, even for children who are generally obedient, I am all for it. I was one of those kids who did as they were told and behaved in public, but once when I was very little my dad lost me in a store. I don’t remember it, but the way it sounds, my dad just becamed engrossed in what he was looking at and we became separated. I was not darting around like a game to get my dads attention (the children I have been with who purposely run off with their parents watching definitely seem to think it is a game as their parents run after them). If I had been leashed it would not have happened. Maybe my dad was less worried about becoming separated than he should have been (I think he was, I think at that young age you have to constantly know where the child is) but even a parent who is fantasic about this, and appropriately paranoid can take their eyes off for a second, be tired, make a mistake.

This is why I am pro leash, not just because of the safety of the child, as many have mentioned, but, for the sanity of the parents and the understanding it might make life as a parent a little easier for them.

Dutchess_III's avatar

Well, @JLeslie, I got the impression you were comparing Big City vs Smaller City living, as far as I could tell. I was trying to figure out what the differences were.

JLeslie's avatar

@Dutchess_III The difference is how often the skills are used. I think certain things become much more automatic for big city kids, and adults for that matter. Not everything has to do with safety, but bigger city children have different experiences daily. It’s a generalization of course, it wouldn’t go for every child. I have written about this before, but it was in reference to adults. Every mom is going to teach their kids not to run into the street. In a big city where a child plays feels much more designated; in a playground, in a park. You walk out of your apartment, there are people all around and you follow the masses down the street. In more rural areas, you leave your house and the lawn and driveway are safe to play, plus you are on your property, they climb in your car, the city kid walks until finally getting onto pulic transportation. Every block their mom is looking at traffic, stopping at a corner, crossing where the green is, this happens every minute (a typical city blocks takes about a minute to walk in NY). I guess some kids run into streets in NY, but in NY kids are not running in general outside until in a specific space meant for it. Sometimes there is a sidewalk they play on where they live, but it is very controlled play, they are not running usually. I have a photo in my facebook of kids standing on a sidewalk in the Bronx way back in the day, you might have seen it in my grandmas photos album. @Simone_De_Beauvoir can comment on it more maybe, she hads children in the city and can correct me if I am wrong.

Other differences. The child is on public transportation all the time, same with adults. Keep your feet in when sitting, pay attention to what is around you, others may want to get by, go to the back of the bus or stand aside. Hold on before the subway or bus starts if you are standing. Let the pregnant or ederly person sit down. Meanwhile, the suburban child is watching a DVD in the back of the car, the parent is negotiating traffic while driving, and the child can ignore traffic altogether. Sure, they need to hold hands as they walk through the parking lot of wherever they arrive, but I am not sure that equates to running into the street? Actually suburban type parking lots are kind of an oddity for the city child, the suburban child would have more experience in that setting.

Others: Hang all of your clothes back up in the dressing room and bring them out to the person who works the dressing room. Stand right on the escalators so people who want to walk up/down can pass on the left. Don’t block an entrance, don’t block the stairs. Let people off the subway before you try to get on. All this is much more heightened in a city because of the crowds and the circumstance.

Some are the same. Like holding the door open for someone is done in both places.

Again, it isn’t that people are not teaching their kids, I am just saying the need to conform to some of the practices are not as drilled in, and even to a child I think it seems crazy to them or doesn’t occur to them to run in the street. But, I do realize a toddler isn’t very good at thinking about consequences. In fact I tend to say children under the age of 5 are suicidal, always doing things that can get them killed. In the city a run towards the street the child will either not be allowed out, or put in a stroller if they are young enough. Putting a leash on makes perfect sense too in my opinion, I just don’t see it very often. Young children are holding hands when walking with their parents much of the time, because there are crowds many places they go.

Leanne1986's avatar

@digitalimpression I certainly can’t see why anyone would be bothered by a child wearing the thing in your link. That looks like fun for the kid whilst being a comfort to the parents at the same time!

abysmalbeauty's avatar

As much as I believe it would be helpful in reducing my worry of my son running off or getting lost I do not use one because 1— he throws tantrums where he literally drops to the floor and bangs his head on the ground forcefully and I would not want to induce a tantrum by leashing him. 2— hes learned to hold my hand when we go out and that is a better behavior to foster in my opinion. Of course I understand that not all children will do that.

SpatzieLover's avatar

What do I think of putting children on a leash when they go outside or for a walk?
Ridiculous. <——-That’s what I think.

PS. I’m a mom of a special needs kid with a syndrome that includes ADHD as the diagnosis. I’ve also taken care of hundreds of kids. All have grown to adulthood without the use of a leash.

majorrich's avatar

I remember a couple of times when Will would go to ground for one reason or another. I would scoop him up like a football and out to the car we would go. Mama would finish the shopping and meet us at the car. Rarely would we use the harness in the store, although in retrospect it might make a handy carrying handle. A couple of trips to the car and put back in the seat would calm him right down. He quickly learned that tantrums in the store didn’t yield the desired effect.

gailcalled's avatar

^^How old was he?

majorrich's avatar

Maybe 2 or 3. I don’t recall exactly. We had a hard inflexible rule about begging/going bananas in the store. (actually at that time it was the BX) I could have got in trouble if I couldn’t control my family. It was kind of an officer thing. I could also be severely disciplined for bouncing checks. It could cost me promotions.

Dutchess_III's avatar

My oldest threw her one and only public temper tantrum when she was about 2½. Down she went, kicking and crying. Dad and I looked at each other and without a word we both disappeared around a corner, then peeked back to watch. A few seconds later she opened her eyes, didn’t see us any where, no audience, nothing so she stopped and stood up. Everything about her said, “Well that was a waste of time!” She never did it again.

ragingloli's avatar

manipulative little beasts

Dutchess_III's avatar

It was! The coolest part @JLeslie was how her Dad and I looked at each other, and without a word moved out of sight at the same instant. Sometimes we were actually on the same page.

digitalimpression's avatar

@ragingloli Surely you don’t blame the leash for being the stupid part of your posted video.

@Leanne1986 It’s exactly that. And not only that.. my son is very tactile and the monkey backpack gives him a sense of security. As he as grown older we don’t need it any more because he has improved through speech/occupational therapy. (the leash was actually recommended by an occupational therapist in San Diego). Oh but yeah… leashes mean you’re treating your kid like a dog.

Dutchess_III's avatar

I never put a leash on my kids, but I sure don’t blame parents who do.
@digitalimpression I disagree. Putting a tether on them is no different than putting them in a “cage”...a crib or a playpen.

YARNLADY's avatar

@Dutchess_III Wrong! In a cage or a crib they are far more confined and cannot jump on Mommy’s lap or freely explore the world around them as they can with a Mommy on the other end of a leash.

Dutchess_III's avatar

I meant, it’s no different in terms of the way we might restrain our dogs in various circumstances. People keep freaking out about a tether, like we’re treating our kids like dogs. Well. So! For a while it might be necessary!

YARNLADY's avatar

@Dutchess_III My Bad! thanks for explaining – I do get carried away about this issue.

digitalimpression's avatar

Using a “tether” is a far cry from “treating your kid like a dog”. That’s all I’m saying. Unless your dog gets to sit at the table, get birthday presents, and go to school paw in hand with mommy too. Then I suppose it’s similar.

FutureMemory's avatar

Even the most well-behaved child might occasionally succumb to excitement and take off running. (I’m reminded of the time my 5 year old cousin saw a dog and darted after it, yelling “Hey you fucking dog!” over and over [quoting his father, I’m sure]. It took my aunt at least 6–8 seconds to catch up to him.)

It only takes a few seconds for something to go horribly wrong. If I had a little one I would consider using the pack-leash in certain situations, sure.

cazzie's avatar

Could we perhaps save our indignation and scorn for things that actually DESERVE it?

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/kristen-howerton/mommy-wars_b_1510807.html?ref=parents&ncid=edlinkusaolp00000009

Dutchess_III's avatar

There is no place to give the author GREAT answers! Very well said.

majorrich's avatar

That is something even we dads can agree on

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