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Trillian's avatar

Who has had enough of Fluther's lies?

Asked by Trillian (21062 points ) May 12th, 2012

Every day Fluther lies to me. I no longer believe I am their favorite, and when they tell me I don’t really look like a Chupacabra, I run to the mirror to check.
My dishes piled up in my sink until I had literally no clean forks or coffee cups in the house before I realized that they had no intention of washing my dishes for me. Never HAD had. Rat bastards.
Now I feel like they whisper sweet nothings to me in the same way a cheating boyfriend lies continually; just out of habit. I have a shaking rage sweep over me and I shout to the heavens; YOU LIE!
Keep on telling me your sweet little lies Fluther, I’m on to you!
Anybody else?

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58 Answers

Trillian's avatar

And if anyone says “Fact from fiction…..blah blah blah” I will hunt you down and shake you until your teeth rattle!

darkserenade's avatar

I love the compliments. It’s one of the reasons I came here.

thorninmud's avatar

I began having serious doubts about Fluther’s sincerity when it came out with the “Your hair looks really, really good today” line. I mean, I’m pretty sure Fluther can’t see the parts of me that still have hair…can it?

Kayak8's avatar

Do NOT destroy the fantasy relationship I have with Fluther!

Truly, there are some days that Fluther’s are the only compliments I receive and they sometimes keep me going (simple reminders that not everything is bad). Today I am glowing, Absolutely Glowing! according to Fluther and you know what, it is absolutely TRUE!

tom_g's avatar

I thought this was a bit out of line.

Brian1946's avatar

Here’s the latest bit of hyperbolic faux flattery that they paid me: “You never cease to amaze us.”

Since all I did to get that one was come to this thread, I don’t think they were lying so much as being sarcastic; perhaps it should have read: “You never cease to amaze us. ~

gailcalled's avatar

MIlo here; It seems fine since I always smell really good, and the Nobel committee did leave a message on my answering machine.

chyna's avatar

Lies? What? I beg to differ as I do look smashing.

marinelife's avatar

Well, of course you are upset, because really it is me that Fluther has all of those feelings for. Right now, it said “Tag, you’re it.” So if I’m it, you can’t be it.

Blackberry's avatar

Get off your lazy balls and do the dishes. :P

CWOTUS's avatar

You’ve always been my favorite.

Sunny2's avatar

Perhaps we should add some. How about, “We see that naughty look in your eye!” or “Your presence makes us smile.” Or “Use a little more soap next time.” or “Look who’s here! It’s Godzilla!” Or “Step back from the screen, please.”

ucme's avatar

Well, clearly it’s you.

Coloma's avatar

Well….right now fluther is “pleased to meet me”.
I must be pretty forgettable. lololol

jazmina88's avatar

still waiting for the clean dishes…..:P

josie's avatar

How do any of us know whether or not you look like a Chupacabra. Perhaps thou doest protest too much?

Symbeline's avatar

Lmao, rat bastards.

rebbel's avatar

I am sure Fluther doesn’t like me a bit; she always orders me to Log out.

Coloma's avatar

Tell me lies, tell me sweet little lies…tell me liiiiies….

zensky's avatar

It’s almost like you never left.

ratboy's avatar

Rat bastards!!” Take off your coat and fuck yourself!

gailcalled's avatar

^^predictably fatuous

Blackberry's avatar

Hahahahsha!

ratboy's avatar

^^^(meaning the entry above the entry above) predictably pretentious and condescending

Trillian's avatar

Stop fighting back there or I will turn this car around SO fast!

ucme's avatar

Schoolkids driving cars? Whatever next! ;¬}

lillycoyote's avatar

I don’t even see them anymore. I just ran through a bunch of them though and the only one I have an issue with is “We baked you a cake!” O.K. Well, where is it then? Where’s my cake?

The other one I used to have a problem with, and I didn’t see it so I don’t know if it’s still in the rotation is… if I remember correctly, Fluther used to promise it was going to do my dishes. I kept waiting and waiting and Fluther kept promising and promising and Fluther never, ever came and did my dishes; not one single time. That’s when I stopped listening to the lies.

Cruiser's avatar

Your pink Mohawk looks fabulous and I have no idea why you haven’t tried out for the Voice!

stardust's avatar

It has been lonely without me in fairness, hasn’t it?!

hearkat's avatar

It’s been nearly 5 years, and I never got my guacamole!

Fly's avatar

…Are you trying to tell me that Fluther doesn’t bake me cakes?

SomeoneElse's avatar

I am not wearing a coat, just pj’s and they are staying put!

lillycoyote's avatar

I don’t know @Fly. Fluther claims to have baked me a cake but I haven’t seen one stinking cake, not even a single slice or even a crumb, yet. Either Fluther isn’t baking cakes, at least not baking me cakes as specified, or Fluther is a big fat liar or a big tease and has baked me a cake or cakes and won’t give me any. It’s either a scam, a lie, this cake thing, or it’s just plain malice, spite and meanness, for them to have baked me a cake and not give me any of it.

blueiiznh's avatar

I have been waiting for this question for years. I still have not got my virginity back, WTF!!!

Hypocrisy_Central's avatar

And if anyone says “Fact from fiction…..blah blah blah” I will hunt you down and shake you until your teeth rattle! Well, someone has to say it……soooo…… Fact is I won’t give you the satisfaction of shaking anyone because of it.

Fluther only lies if you find you do not believe what it says. People believe lies all the time because they want to, even in the face of logic that points that it is false. If you do not believe you appear as a chupacabra then you will never believe it when told. You will have the power not to listen to everything Fluther says and break free from the cyber shackles that keep one rooted in front of the screen.

Kardamom's avatar

The Noble committee did call me one time, but only to ask me what size Xmas tree I wanted.

Oh, you meant Nobel

Symbeline's avatar

@Hypocrisy_Central Taking it a wee bit far now, ain’t we? :p

Hypocrisy_Central's avatar

@Symbeline _ @Hypocrisy_Central Taking it a wee bit far now, ain’t_ Symbe it was in very general truth. Some people, if you remember, thought they would meet Jesus in the tale of a Hale Bopp comet. They wanted to believe it totally and they gave their life for it. How many still believe in Big Foot, when you never found a Big Foot carcass, skeleton, or any Big Foot dung anywhere.

gailcalled's avatar

@Hypocrisy_Central: Do you mean “tail” rather than story?

Who died in relation to comet Hale Bopp?

Hypocrisy_Central's avatar

@gailcalled Who died in relation to comet Hale Bopp? It was the Heaven Gate(cult) people.

Symbeline's avatar

@Hypocrisy_Central While I do enjoy Fluther, I don’t think that it, and its denizens, have all that much influential power. Your point is indeed valid when it comes the whole of the Internet and its role with the media, though. But people believed in Bigfoot and Nessie long fore the net came to be, am I right?

lillycoyote's avatar

Removed by me. Not going to sink that low

Bent's avatar

hey I’ll hang on to the compliments even if I don’t believe them. Some days they’re the only compliments I get.

gailcalled's avatar

@Hypocrisy_Central: Thanks for the source/

WillWorkForChocolate's avatar

Fluther has actually been telling me the truth lately. My hair does look really, really good today. I’ve lost quite a bit of weight, and I believe that I do look smashing, and my breath does, indeed, smell wintry fresh.

They’re also spot on every day when they tell me to take a xanax with rum, before posting. I dunno, though, perhaps that one was developed specifically for me.

ZEPHYRA's avatar

I am more than half-bad myself, I am VERY bad!!

ZEPHYRA's avatar

Just who will I run away with???? Will we be coming back?

SomeoneElse's avatar

How dare they tell the Nobel committee I am busy? I might have been applying the false eyelashes and stuff just for the acceptance speech!

ZEPHYRA's avatar

Oh, and don’t tell me to look busy when the boss comes, I AM busy, very busy for your information!

ZEPHYRA's avatar

I most definitely am NOT taking my shoes off…..if I do you won’t want me to stay a while!

erichw1504's avatar

Who wants s’mores?

harple's avatar

Just had:

Have you gotten smarter? We thought so.
Log out.

Harsh Fluther, harsh!

SomeoneElse's avatar

Here comes my boss?
No here, not now!

fremen_warrior's avatar

The Lurve is a LIE!

blueiiznh's avatar

Fluther please just tell me lies!!

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