Social Question

downtide's avatar

Have you ever found yourself suddenly homeless?

Asked by downtide (22769 points ) June 13th, 2012

And how did you recover from that situation?

I’ve found myself in that position now, following a sudden and very messy breakup from my partner. Currently couch-surfing with friends until I can find a place of my own. I’m lucky; I’m working so it’s just a matter of time.

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21 Answers

ucme's avatar

Fortunately not, but I do wish you luck in your search, you sound like a good bloke :¬)

SpatzieLover's avatar

First of all @downtide I’m sorry to hear of your break up and homelessness.

{{{{Good Wishes Sent Your Way}}}}

Yes, I’ve been homeless twice. Both times were due to my mom’s break ups. The first time happened when my mom & dad finally seperated when I was five. We were lucky enough to have relatives allow us to spend a few weeks at their place prior to my mom setting up an apartment for us.

The next time was due to her second break up. We again were blessed with family to take us in for a bit prior to us finding a rental. From then on, we’ve always owned a few properties (so that can never happen again).

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

Oh, I’m so sorry. You know I’ve never been in such a situation but I think it is awful how partners can do that to one another. When I broke with people in the past, they still stayed with me until they could find a place. Hell, my ex-husband and I broke up and I was living with another person and having that other person’s child and I was 7 months pregnant before I asked him to move out of the home that he continued to share with the rest of my family.

flutherother's avatar

Sorry to hear that @downtide. I thought you were solid. I was in that position myself a few years ago following a break up. I was working and I found a flat to share with a few other guys on Gumtree. Eventually I was able to buy a place of my own. It worked out OK. I hope it does for you too.

harple's avatar

Oh @downtide I’m so sorry… I found my current place on www.spareroom.co.uk, but gumtree’s also good as @flutherother suggests. They’re both good sites for being able to move quickly somewhere.

Edit – last time I found myself homeless, in similar circumstances to you, I was fortunate enough to be able to spend a month with my folks while I got myself back on my feet.

wundayatta's avatar

A friend of mine was tricked by his now ex. She had called the police and told them her husband was terrorizing her. They waited in the apartment until he came in, and then arrested him. Sixteen of them, apparently. Took him to jail in the middle of nowhere. They believed her implicitly, although she was making it all up.

He spent a week in jail, and then they tossed him out at 3 in morning, and he had nowhere to go and no phone and no nothing. He stayed with people he knew—a night here and a night there for a few weeks—one or two nights with me.

Eventually he built his way back. It’s been a year or so, and he’s been staying with another person from our group for most of that time, and finally, he’s ready to get his own place. He’s been pulling his life back together and slowly things are getting more and more stable.

He was utterly broken when he got out of jail. Now he’s back to being his old brash self and it is good to see.

I’m sorry this has happened to you. As you say, you have a job, and you’ll find a place and eventually you’ll get it back together, but right now it’s a real shock. Maybe you saw this coming, and maybe you didn’t, but either way, the reality of it must be kind of unbelievable.

I wish you the best. If it gets you down, please let us know what is happening. We may not be able to offer you a room, but we can listen and, well, you know what fluther is all about.

Yetanotheruser's avatar

@downtide Sorry to hear of your plight. It may seem scary or at the least unpredictable. I was in a similar situation, but it was about 33 years ago. Having a job is an important start back to stability. Good Luck!

nikipedia's avatar

The summer after my freshman year of college, the dorms were closed for the break so I was temporarily living with my boyfriend. It turned out he had misunderstood what date his lease ended, and his landlord showed up on the 30th of June and said we had to be out by the next day.

We got a hotel for that night, and I stayed with a friend for another night or two. He had a friend who just happened to be looking for a roommate and moved right in there; I found an apartment to sublet for the rest of the summer in the classified section of the newspaper.

downtide's avatar

Thanks everyone. I’m actually feeling pretty optimistic. I have some awesome friends and lots of contacts so I’m sure I’ll be able to find something in time. The uncertainty at the moment is scary and ‘m still kind of numb.

I have to stress though – my partner didn’t actually throw me out. I left voluntarily (due to it being unbearable to stay there any more). But the problem is a very specific one and if he is willing to fix it, I’d be willing to go back. I’m hoping that will happen but planning alternatives just in case.

Leanne1986's avatar

No, but this is one of my biggest fears in life. I hope you will find some security very soon @downtide

Neizvestnaya's avatar

Yes, somewhat similar situation too, I had friends I took turns staying with until I had a more stable plan. It’s scary and even embarassing because you’re an adult and you think you should have all your ducks in a row but life happens and you just work it through.

Good luck, after the initial shock, I think you’ll have some further spiritual blossoming :)

AmWiser's avatar

@downtide so sorry to hear of your sudden misfortune. Though I have never experienced anything of the sort, I feel your pain. My daughter is going through the same thing at this very moment and she has a 1-year old child. Fortunately she has family she can turn to at this time in her life. Thank goodness for your friends because friends will be your friends through all situations thick and thin. Best of luck to you.

tranquilsea's avatar

We were briefly homeless after my hubby’s mom kicked us out (she hated me). I, thankfully, had a supportive family so we all crashed at my mom’s (me, my husband and our 2 children) until we could find a place to rent. We were only there for a month thank god as we were sleeping in the living room.

I hope you land on your feet soon!

zensky's avatar

Not. Yet.

Downtide – come stay with me for a while – take a vacation…

AngryWhiteMale's avatar

Very briefly, yes. Spent a night or two in the midnight mission at the worst point, but it was a temporary situation, thank goodness. Glad you have friends who are able and willing to take you in. My best wishes to you as you navigate this.

trailsillustrated's avatar

Yes, I was homeless for about a year or two? It was harrowing. I have described it on here somewhere.You are working, and that will make all the difference. Good luck and you will be just fine.

Coloma's avatar

@downtide No, but I’ve come close, during a messy divorce a decade ago. I SO wish you the BEST! If you want to fly to California you can bunk in my barn in exchange for being my farm hand. lolol Hang in there, it’ll all work out, yes it will! Life is an adventure, just not always the adventure we’d choose. :-)

dontmindme's avatar

Yes. I eventually found myself living in a hotel room for several weeks and had to beg for money to stay in that shitty hotel room. It sucked, but I survived. I didn’t even have money for a toothbrush. I try to forget about that time of my life.

downtide's avatar

Thanks for the support and the stories. I talked with my partner today and we have a plan that, if it works, will mean I can go back home. I’m keeping my fingers crossed.

nikipedia's avatar

Good luck with everything. Keep us posted.

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