Social Question

chelle21689's avatar

If someone says you're good looking for a _____ would you be offended?

Asked by chelle21689 (5086 points ) June 23rd, 2012

If someone says, “Wow you’re beautiful for an Asian” or “You’re pretty for a middle aged woman” or something along those lines would you be offended? Just curious.

Observing members: 0 Composing members: 0

19 Answers

Sunny2's avatar

I’m not offended. You have to make exceptions for people who make stupid remarks like that. They lack perspective, sensitivity, and intelligence. You can make a facetious remark in return, but they won’t get it. You could say, “How nice of you to notice,” and leave off the “you idiot,” but why bother.

chelle21689's avatar

Just curious. This Asian girl told my Asian bf “Dang you’re cute for an Asian” lol She claims she no longer dates Asian guys and is on to blacks. Yeahh…

DominicX's avatar

Maybe a little. It’s certainly an insensitive remark. When I hear someone say something like “well-spoken for a black person”, I don’t see how you can take it any other way than being offensive.

Blackberry's avatar

I was only once told I was attractive for a black guy. It hurt my feelings but I didn’t say anything, nor did I let it bother me for very long.

gailcalled's avatar

MIlo here;”...for a cat.” I never sneer at a free compliment.

Kardamom's avatar

It’s pretty douchey and insensitive. It’s basically saying that the person is an exception because they think that other (fill in the blanks___) are ugly.

It’s similar to saying “Wow, you’re pretty nice for a ___”

Or “Wow, you’re pretty clever for a ___.”

Or “Wow, you’re pretty intelligent for a ___.”

Or “Wow, you’re pretty clean for a ___.”

Or “Wow, you’re pretty slim for a ___.”

These kind of statements are called backhanded compliments but they’re really insults and have not so hidden racist/sexist/ageist components to them.

It’s like saying, “I think that most ___ are pretty bad, but you’re an exception, so you’re OK.”

cookieman's avatar

Definitely backhanded compliments.

My nephew’s ex-girlfriend once said to me, “Wow, you’re pretty nimble for a big guy”. To which I thought, “Shut the fuck up and eat a cookie”.

ragingloli's avatar

Only if they are offended at the response “and you look good for a corpse”.

cookieman's avatar

@ragingloli: Ha! Better yet…

schmuck
“Wow, you’re pretty for a middle-aged woman.”

response
“Really? Well you look pretty good considering there’s a fork sticking out of your head.”

schmuck
“Huh? I don’t have a for… Aaaaaarrrrgggghhh!!”

downtide's avatar

I would take it as an insult to all other _____’s and yes it would make me feel offended. I would also assume they were lying, because I’m not good looking at all.

ucme's avatar

I know i’m good looking & don’t need any conformation of this, although when the wife says this my dick does go hard.

Neizvestnaya's avatar

Yes. I’ve had this said to me more than a few times in my life and it never felt like a compliment and it never endeared me in any way to the person talking to me.

Symbeline's avatar

I’d probably be pretty offended yeah, that someone judges my entire demographic position/situation and takes it upon themselves to think I’m stupid enough to believe that they think I’m some exception, especially if all they’re looking for in return is that I kill their husband, or lend them money. I’d tell them to go get raped by a giant ass.

I’d just keep quiet actually, but that would suck. People often comment on my accent because I’ve not quite mastered the Qu├ębec French accent (nor do I really want to, haha) but I’m often told ’‘it’s getting there’’. Are you fuckin serious? No wonder all French places get invaded and fucked by giant asses; one slight bit of difference in the same language and they can’t even get along! not that I do any better to help anything lol But I don’t go up to people and go, now you’re talking like a bro, bro!
Closest example to answer the question with, and [/le rant]

augustlan's avatar

Yeah, I’d be offended. Depending on the person saying it, I may be slightly offended or very offended. The feeling wouldn’t last long, though.

PurpleClouds's avatar

Probably not.

tedibear's avatar

Of course I would. Adding a qualifier to a compliment can negate the compliment. The only time I can think of that I wouldn’t find it offensive is if I had never done something and did it well for the first time. Example: “You made a great cake for someone who has never baked before.” Or, “You played a great game of volley ball for someone who has never played.” As I read those, I can still interpret a little condescension…

Yetanotheruser's avatar

Hey! This a great group – for a bunch of jellies!

roundsquare's avatar

Nah. I think most people have certain types of people they are generally physically attracted to and others they generally are not. So they suddenly find themselves surprised that they find someone in the second group they are attracted to. I don’t see that as abnormal. The fact that they then said this out loud doesn’t, for me, make it any worse.

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

@Symbeline GA. Raped by a giant ass. LMAO

Answer this question

Login

or

Join

to answer.
Your answer will be saved while you login or join.

Have a question? Ask Fluther!

What do you know more about?
or
Knowledge Networking @ Fluther