Social Question

CrazyChristian12's avatar

What do I do if the guy I love has a crush on my best friend?

Asked by CrazyChristian12 (6 points ) July 20th, 2012

My best friend is two years older than me and he is one year older.
My friend has a crush on him.
I truly think i’m falling in love! What should I do?

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9 Answers

wundayatta's avatar

Be open and friendly. Ask him out, if you want. They say that all’s fair in love and war. If you want this guy, don’t sit around waiting for him to ask you. Ask him.

Or, wait, and let him go out with your friend, and when they break up (and they will), you take your chance then. There’s something to be said for being second. Much greater chance of success. Otherwise, you’ll go first, break up with him, and watch in jealousy when she goes out. All in all, I think it’s better to be second, if you want to win.

zenvelo's avatar

Welcome to Fluther.

Sorry, I am a bit confused on who is crushing on whom….

Don’t mess up your friendship. Just be nice and friendly to him, but don’t put yourself in the way of the two of them.

janbb's avatar

Suffer – said with all true sympathy.

marinelife's avatar

Sorry for your feelings. You need to look elsewhere.

Trillian's avatar

Snap out of it or get ready to lose a friend.

Kardamom's avatar

Can you clarify a few things because I’m a little confused.

First of all, are you a female? Is your best friend a female too?

Is it you who has a crush on the guy in question, or are you falling for a guy that your best friend already liked? Do both of you (girls I’m assuming) both like the same guy? Does the guy like or have a crush on your friend, already?

If your friend told you that she liked this guy (let’s call him Max) first then you should probably just be gracious and not interfere with her attempt to date him. If you jumped in too, it would be really mean to your friend.

If, on the other hand, you told your best friend that you liked this guy first, but Max, for whatever reason is interested in her, then you need to forget about this guy, and hope that your friend doesn’t go for him. But if she does, know that your relationship with both of them will change, but if you’re gracious to them both, you will be a very wonderful and strong person, although it might be rather painful to you for awhile.

Whatever you do, try not to beat yourself up if you have feelings for someone (Max) who is not available to you, but don’t make your best friend feel crappy by suggesting that your friend tried to steal him from you (even if she did) because it will make you look bad. And don’t try to steal Max away from your friend if they end up together, because that will also make you look bad and make both of you feel horrible.

These kinds of situations are really horrible, and they tend to happen more, when you’re younger and still in school, because you and your friends will tend to like the same exact things and not be able to even realize other possibilities. When you get a little older, even though you may have he same friends (and make new ones too) your interests will become more diverse and you will be able to see possibilites that you may not have even considered before (like other nice guys). Good luck to you : )

josie's avatar

Find new friends ASAP.

Seaofclouds's avatar

If I’m understanding this correctly, you and your friend both like the same guy, but he likes her (assuming you and your friend are females). Have you talked to your friend about how you feel about this guy. This sounds like a really tough situation and you and your friend need to be honest with each other about how you feel and how you would feel if either of you were to start dating the guy in question.

talljasperman's avatar

Tell the truth to both of them, before everyone gets in too deep and confused. Love should be honest and not designed to hurt anyone. If you don’t want to tell anyone the truth I would let things play out naturally and what happens, will be what is supposed to happen. I was in a similar situation in college, and I ended up confused and losing both friends forever.

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