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Shippy's avatar

How do I get myself to move?

Asked by Shippy (9852 points ) August 5th, 2012

I am in a bad situation at the moment, and have been for a while. Some of you have read a few of my posts, so I really don’t want to get wordy here. But I think its time for me to move. When I say move, move back to the UK where I am originally from.

There I will get benefits, for my Bipolar, be able to see doctors when I need, including various therapists etc., as well as get to some support groups in the UK with similar like minded people.

Here due to a huge population inflicted with poverty understandably Bipolar and mental illness does take a back seat. If you are unemployed you receive zero. I hear of “food banks” in the USA and find that fascinating for example. I could face literal homelessness. I am trying daily to get a home business going.

Medication here is difficult so is any help for any psychological issue.

Here is my problem. I am finding the “idea” of moving so huge, I cannot. But I know or think I know this is the best next step. Mostly that, which I find hard is leaving all that is familiar to me. I also suffer neurosis.
Who do I have there? only one person who I met 9 years ago on the net. We talk everyday. He is a great strength to me. But would never be able to help me with accommodation or anything else. (Long story). But he definitely gets me through my days, without his strong support I would have fizzled up and died. He is happy to link me to correct persons involved.

How on earth do I undertake a huge task, let go of my “things” sell up my home, it’s all too much and scary. Probably I am making it worse in my own head. I would love and appreciate any advice or strength as I truly need it.

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11 Answers

Bellatrix's avatar

My advice would generally be not to run away from problems. My experience is this rarely helps because you just take your problems with you. In your situation though, you can’t afford the healthcare you need to get better. So, my first thing would be to ask (and I am not in the US so I don’t know) is there any way to access the medical help you need where you are? That would be a better option than moving to a country where you may also have no support system at all.

I have some questions too. Do you have any family/friends in the US that can help you sell up and invest the money from the sale of your property so it is safe and you don’t fritter it away? Perhaps it can be used to help provide you with some income AND to pay for some healthcare in the US. Of course this depends on how long it takes to sell up. At least you would have that problem taken care of and you can then make a final decision about whether the UK is the right option.

If you do move back to the UK, do you have any family there? I know you said you have one friend but you can’t live with that person. So, do you have anyone else? I am concerned about you moving all that way and then being alone. Can you speak to the British Consulate? Perhaps, if you are British, they can help you at least with some advice. They will be able to tell you whether you could immediately access health care under the National Health system for instance. Where in the UK would you move to as well?

You are very vulnerable at the moment and I am concerned about you making big decisions. Make sure you are running to something better. I do agree that you need to do something to start getting well. You need to be able to access health care and medicine whether in the US or UK.

Shippy's avatar

@Bellatrix Thank you for your answer. I am in S.Africa not US. Great idea on speaking to the Consulate. I hear you though. I am like a rat in the corner, I am taking it day by day. I did get some “free” help but ultimately it all came down to things like, one free psychologist visit then pay after. So was a catch 22. I don’t have family there no, they are all dead. However I don’t have family here also. But I do have friends here of course. Both options are scary. Staying here and landing up in deep financial shit, or leaving its all scary!!

Bellatrix's avatar

Sorry @Shippy. I don’t know why I thought you were in the US. I can imagine you do feel very frightened. It would be hard not to. If you sold your house, would you be able to rent a room and perhaps share a house with other people so you can minimise your costs so you can get some more consistent care? I just worry that if you went back to the UK and you have nobody there you are going from one bad situation to another. How good would the care you receive in the UK under the National Health Service be? Would it be better or worse than you could get in S.Africa if you could afford to pay to regularly see a psychiatrist and get some medication to take consistently? Perhaps these are questions you can ask English members who are actually there and may have some concrete information for you.

I am not trying to deter you or take the wind out of your sails, I just worry about you not actually going to a support system and being assured things will be better.

flutherother's avatar

Are you a UK citizen with a passport and the right of abode in the UK? If you are you could come over here and declare yourself homeless. The Homeless Persons Unit of the local authority would fix you up with somewhere temporarily while you establish what benefits you might be entitled to. Shelter would give you advice and would try to get you somewhere more permanent.

This might work but would be very uncomfortable and very lonely. If you don’t know anyone in the UK it would be quite soul destroying unless you are an exceptionally strong person.

Your situation would be better if the money from the sale of your house in South Africa allowed you to buy somewhere in the UK.

marinelife's avatar

Break the huge task of moving into smaller, more manageable steps. 1. Find where you will move to in the UK. Find either permanent or temporary housing, That way you have a goal and a direction.

2. Figure out what you have to do to move.
A. Sell your house,
B. Decide what you will take and what you will get rid of.
C. Sell what you can and give away or donate the rest.
D. Arrange for shipping,

3. Arrange your transport. (Air fare, whatever.)

4. Move.

Coloma's avatar

Well, really, the only solution is to just DO it!
We all have to jump off a cliff every so often in life and nothing ventured nothing gained as the saying goes. I think if you can overcome your inertia you will find the change to be very beneficial, not just for your health reasons but because it will help you to renew confidence in yourself.
Whenever we do/accomplish something that we didn’t feel we could, the rush of exhilaration and self esteem is HUGE!

Focus on the outcome, visualize yourself in a nice new place with all the great amenities this move will bring!
Get your shippy together and anchors aweigh, time to sail off into a brave new world.

YARNLADY's avatar

Please let me know if I am out of line here, but my understanding of Bipolar is that you have days when you feel really, really good and days when you feel hopeless. If you are in a hopeless faze, you could just wait until you get to the opposite faze, and then all your plans will be easier.

Hawaii_Jake's avatar

I’m with @marinelife on this one. Break the huge task into smaller ones and do them one at a time concentrating on exactly what’s at hand and not the next task.

If this were my story, I’d just sign my house over to an estate agent to sell and then go.

I’d just go.

You know, @Shippy, I’ve read most if not all your questions. I know what you’re up against, and you’re not going to get the help you need by sitting on your hind end. You get out of your situation the same way you got into it: one step at a time.

trailsillustrated's avatar

I am moving home too, half way around the world. It’s such a big undertaking that sometimes I just sit around, frozen. I too, am scared to death. You can apply to live in a council housing estate ( I know), but it’s something, and also, you do get unemployment in the uk and medical. You don’t get much but if you live in a housing estate you will have some left. I am just selling all my belongings or giving them away, and buying a plane ticket. Good luck and I think you will be in a better situation for your bipolar in the uk.—I am coming through capetown on my way to oz. and seeing a dr. there I understand theyr’e pretty good.

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