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clairedete's avatar

Family misunderstanding?

Asked by clairedete (331 points ) June 2nd, 2008

Last night, I walked into my bedroom and found a plate of cookies and a card addressed to me sitting on my desk. I opened the card and found a letter from my dad. It contained what seemed to be writings from different dates about how he drove my car to work that day and listened to my cd’s a cried for me. There were at least 5 different dates included in the letter about times that he thinks of me and has cried for me.
As I kept reading I became more and more freaked out. My family has always been shaky; my parents still live together but have had a very turbulent relationship for about 11 years now. At the end of the card there was a paragraph about how I should come to his work and visit him this summer. When I read this is immediately thought this was a goodbye letter and he had moved out or something. I freaked out and proceeded to run upstairs at 1am, slamming doors and turning on lights as I went. I yelled to my mom planning to make her explain and as I was yelling my dad sat up from sleeping on the couch, quite alarmed. I started to question him, waving the card in his face. He seemed so defeated, he asked if it was weird and said he just wanted to tell me how he feels.
I retreated to my room, quite embarrassed. Now, I don’t know how to handle the situation other than to run from it. What do I do? How should i talk to him?

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9 Answers

PupnTaco's avatar

Simple, ask him to explain what it was all about.

Dog's avatar

Give your Dad a hug and tell him you were will visit him at his work. Tell him how much he means to you and that you love him.

His letter indicates that he is afraid of losing you.

playthebanjo's avatar

and don’t forget to buy him some cookies for Father’s Day.

babygalll's avatar

Write a letter to him explaining how you felt when you read the letter.

Bri_L's avatar

that was a big reach out. not easy for anyone. and to remember the dates shows that they meant something to him. I would use them as a catalyst to start a new line of consistent communication. I understand your freak out but I would takes some breaths and try to real it back in. unless there is info your not telling us that is a pretty big leap.

susanc's avatar

Your freak out was so appropriate. He needs to know that his life affects you
this strongly. The two of you care so much and now it’s time to learn how to
talk to each other. This is a huge breakthrough for you both. All the above
advice is great! Congratulations on having a dad that cares about you very much,
being a daughter who takes her dad’s feelings very seriously, and trying to figure
out (WITH HELP! that’s strong) your next steps. This is very, very cool.

Response moderated
Response moderated
scamp's avatar

I don’t understand completey why you reacted so strongly, but I am guessing it is because there were some things in the letter you didn’t tell us about that disturbed you. I think you should make a date with your Dad to sit down and talk calmly about this. Like Bri_L says, it sounds like he was reaching out to you. he may have cried while listening to your music in your car because his little girl is grown, and he misses her. It’s hard for a Dad to see his little princess trun into a grown woman. Tell him you want to go out for lunch, just the two of you to talk. This could lead to a wonderful life bonding event for the two of you. He may have been trying to tell you how muxch he loves you in the letter, and that’s a great start for the two of you to open the lines of communication as adults.

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