Social Question

WillWorkForChocolate's avatar

Parents- at what age did your children begin caring about being "cute" around the opposite sex?

Asked by WillWorkForChocolate (22663 points ) August 9th, 2012

My 11 year old daughter got a text from her “boyfriend” that said he’s walking over. She made a mad dash to fix her hair and change into cuter clothes, which she hasn’t ever done before. :D

At what age did your kids start aiming for cuteness around the opposite sex?

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16 Answers

JLeslie's avatar

It always shocks me when people use terms like “boyfriend” regarding 11 year olds? Does your daughter call him that? Or, you use the word tongue and cheek? I don’t think I cared about looking good for boys until I was 13–14. I did care before that about looking good though.

Mama_Cakes's avatar

I’m sure that it was around 13–14 for me, as well. Prior to that all that I cared about was climbing trees and playing Smurfs. The only time that I was concerned with what I looked like was when we were playing Star Wars and I was Princess Leia. haha

Perhaps, kids are growing up quicker these days?

WillWorkForChocolate's avatar

@JLeslie Yes, she calls him her boyfriend, and he calls her his girlfriend. He asked her “out” last year, when they were in 5th grade. I put boyfriend in quotes, though, because I can hear the quotes in my voice when I call him that.

Yes, @Mama_Cakes I was thinking that. Although I do remember having a crush on a boy when I was 10.

JLeslie's avatar

@WillWorkForChocolate I think it’s cute. At the same time it brings me back to when I moved to MD in 5th grade and the kids there talked about having boyfriends and girlfriends, and coming from where I lived NY that was crazy talk. I had only heard of high schoolers having boyfriends and girlfriends.

CWOTUS's avatar

I started caring in first grade, at the age of 5. But I didn’t let anyone else know (including the girls) until high school.

Pandora's avatar

My daughter around 10. Our little neighbor boy had a crush on her and she liked the attention and so she started to worry about looking cute enough.
As for my son who is 29, I’m still waiting. LOL Only kidding. But he really didn’t care much about appearance till he went off to college. Before then, he just thought it nonsense to care.

ucme's avatar

My son began grooming himself for the honeyz around the age of 10, my daughter believes boys smell of cheese & should be avoided at all costs, I guess her time is yet to come.

Linda_Owl's avatar

In 1958, when I was 10 years old & in the 4th grade, I had a ‘boyfriend’ (I still remember his name)!

TheIntern55's avatar

I still haven’t reached that age.

marinelife's avatar

I had boyfriends in elementary school. I have seen babies who flirt with the opposite sex.

Imadethisupwithnoforethought's avatar

When I was 12 I went on my first date with a girl from the Catholic school who was the same age.

When we sat down to watch John Cusack tell jokes, she mentioned she wore her stretchy skirt. I asked her what that meant. She replied it would not get all wrinkly during a movie date from a guys hands.

So I got to assume some people start pretty early.

wundayatta's avatar

I don’t know if I had my first date until I was 17 or so. My daughter is 16, and I haven’t seen even a hint of a sign that there are any boys interested in her, and certainly nothing from her about any interest in a boy or in boys in general. Nor anyone.

She talks about her friends who date with a kind of air that they are being silly to get all caught up about a boy. She thinks boys aren’t very mature, and I guess that means they aren’t worth thinking about. She is, however, keen to advise her friends about what they should do to solve their boyfriend problems.

I’m proud of her and just a teensy bit worried. I mean, if she has too high standards, will she ever meet a boy she can really admire? But I also am proud because her focus is on getting good grades and getting into a good college (preferably with full freight, I hope). But then, both her mother and father were “late bloomers,” so there is a lot for her to do before she starts thinking about a boy like that.

I think there are social people and there are academic people and there are all kinds of other people. There are people who are both social and academic. There are people who are neither. And there are all kinds of others. I try not to worry about these things. I try to take a more interested observer stance. 11 or 21 or 31. Each life is different. Each person is interested in different things. You can always find things to worry about if you want. This is something I don’t want to worry about. But I have to admit that I do think about it.

MilkyWay's avatar

I admit, I’ve been concious of looking good, especially around boys, since I was 5.
I even remember having a crush on one of the boys… I thought to myself “I’m gonna marry him when we get older.”
I don’t remember his name now, but he did have some attributes I still consider attractive in a guy: Curly, messy hair, a cheeky smile and a sense of humour…
Now, I can’t be arsed to have a boyfriend, or be in a relationship. But I still like to look good around the same or opposite sex.

athenasgriffin's avatar

I started caring about my appearance with boys before I cared about my appearance with the general population, say about 8 or 9. This was not really an innate desire so early, though. I got it from watching my mother primp for her husband before he came home and to see her father, who I also very much wanted to impress. I started caring about my general appearance around the start of high school, 14 or 15. It has gotten worse and worse since then to the point where I will not be seen by anyone except my close family without full make up. On the other hand, I don’t really do anything extra for guys. I’m much more concerned about the opinion of other females. I’m pretty sure guys don’t really notice.

WillWorkForChocolate's avatar

Thanks for all the answers, guys!

Apparently her boyfriend’s family plans changed, so he didn’t get to come over, after all. She was disappointed, but she still looked adorable! Now one of her BFFs is spending the night, so the day turned out alright anyway. :D

augustlan's avatar

I had a boyfriend when I was 11, but I didn’t really dress to impress until I was well into junior high, and even then I don’t think I did it for guys so much as for social group reasons. My girls don’t seem to do it for guys either, but the oldest one started looking more ‘girly’ the earliest, probably around the same time I did. The middle one pretty much just started looking more ‘girly’ last year (11th grade), and the youngest still wears mostly jeans, hoodies, and Chucks… though she does wear makeup (going into 10th grade).

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