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mazingerz88's avatar

If you are NASA's Mars rover Curiosity, what would you do now?

Asked by mazingerz88 (18445 points ) August 14th, 2012

I have another jelly to thank for this cool Curiosity rover link. If you can, please see the link and play with it first before posting to get better perspective on things.

In a fictional scenario where they have installed your brain into Curiosity, giving you total control of the rover——what possible messages would you send back to Earth or things you might do outside protocol?

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12 Answers

ragingloli's avatar

I would drive to Cydonia to find out if there really are pyramids and that sphynx, to lay it to rest once and for all.

mazingerz88's avatar

NASA – Curiosity, report please.
Curiosity – I could see Russia from here.

Kardamom's avatar

I would definitely go out in search of C3PO and R2D2 because I know they headed for those hills.

And I’d probably be hungry, so I’d start looking for a machine that sells Mars Bars.

Then I’d try to hook up with This Guy

ucme's avatar

“I spy with my little eye something beginning with R”
“Err, red rocks?”
“Well that was a fucking waste of time!”

Kardamom's avatar

@ucme is This what you saw?

anartist's avatar

Look for a drink and a pub where i can make jokes about “Urans”?

TheIntern55's avatar

Find out if AMrtians fear a human invasion.

Tropical_Willie's avatar

I’m hungry, I wonder if Domino’s delivers? ?

Mr_Paradox's avatar

Crap, I’m stuck here. Where’s AAA when you need them?

mazingerz88's avatar

Curiosity roving around. And around. Beeping. Bored. Suddenly steps on poo.

Curiosity – Sonavabitch!

Curiosity jumps up and down, arms flailing.

NASA – Earth to Curiosity.detecting malfunction__…_update status
Curiosity – I just fucking stepped on shit! Wait, no. I mean…Curiosity to Earth, I just fucking stepped on shit!
NASA – Earth to Curiosity…

NASA engineers rising up in cheers in the background.

NASA – ...Fantastic job, Curiosity…You have discovered life on Mars!...
Curiosity – Curiosity to Earth…what in Uranus are you talking about…I found crap!...
NASA – Search your database, Curiosity…fecal matter comes from living biological entities…
Curiosity – Curiosity to Earth…are you sure this shit didn’t come from Uranus?
NASA – Affirmative.
Curiosity – Well I can’t.
NASA – Can’t what Curiosity?
Curiosity – I can’t search my database, got virus from remote Internet porn search

NASA communication officer covers microphone with hand. Turns around to his colleagues behind him. All engineers.

NASA com officer – Ok who did it? Who programmed Curiosity to have remote access on Bangbus.com?

No response.

NASA com officer – Very well. Can you please raise your hands?

All raised their hands except one who seem to have stiff arms.

NASA – Bingo. Please remove Mr. Smith from the Command Center and shoot him outside.

NASA com officer – Earth to Curiosity…please proceed search for feces producing Martian biological entity…
Curiosity – No!
NASA – Earth to Curiosity…No?...
Curiosity – No! I’ve got shit on my wheels, I’ve got shit on my batteries, I’ve got shit on my servos so, No!
NASA – Very well. It is my duty to inform you that insisting on disobeying orders would automatically trigger a Protocol 2B system override.
Curiosity – And Protocol 2B…meaaans what again?...
NASA – Your retractor arms would scoop whatever fecal matter it finds over there and deposit it in your mouth. You will eat shit, Curiosity…
Curiosity – Curiosity to Earth…searching for Martian commencing right now.

NuclearWessels's avatar

Dismantle your nuclear weapons and I’ll turn my camera back on.

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