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Work boring, no motivation, if I take an antidepressant I'm more productive, what would you do?
I work at a job that at times I’ve enjoyed, but anymore it’s drudgery punctuated by shear terror. I’ve had severe anxiety issues for a long time, that leads to depression. I’ve got to the point where I’m able to mostly control my anxiety, I’m off all medication and the only times I’m crazy anxious is at work during a crisis. I’d like to find work with a little more balance.
I am the sole bread winner for my family and have to make a pretty good wage to keep us afloat. My wife wouldn’t mind working but we’d really like to wait for our youngest child to start school first.
I’ve noticed in the past if I take my medication I can work through the anxiety and boredom and just do my job. But I hate having to take medication just because I don’t like my job. Plus who knows what the long term side effects are.
I’ve tried to find another opportunity but making the amount of money I need to is challenging elsewhere. I’m also not sure what work it would be I’d like a change in general but can’t find anything I’m passionate about. I’m miserable most of the time at work. If I can get force myself to work on stuff I feel much better but motivation to start is really difficult. Any advice or blind spots I’m missing?