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Mama_Cakes's avatar

Did (do) you have a favorite child? Care to share your thoughts on this Dad's blog?

Asked by Mama_Cakes (9315 points ) September 20th, 2012

blog

This rubs me the wrong way.

You?

Observing members: 0 Composing members: 0

14 Answers

tom_g's avatar

Didn’t read this blog post, but every parent I have ever known has admitted to having a favorite (once I really got to know them). Before having kids, I would have never guessed this and would have found the concept distasteful. But it seems to be very common – myself included.

fremen_warrior's avatar

He is obviously insane. You cannot decide who your favourite is, the Arrakeen desert does it for you!

Mariah's avatar

Felt pretty wrong to me too, although less so when I read that the reason for the favoritism was just that he finds it’s more fun to do things with a 5 year old than a 2 year old. I just hope he gives the younger kid the same attention when he gets older.

My sister has always felt that I am the favorite child, and that hasn’t done either of us favors. I don’t think parents should admit to having a favorite or behave like they have a favorite.

janbb's avatar

My favorite child is usually the one that has called me the most recently. :-)

Seek's avatar

I didn’t see anything wrong with the post at all.

Is it any more or less wrong to have a favourite parent? Yet we’ll all probably admit we do. I have two siblings. My sister’s my favourite of the two. I grew up with my brother and babied my sister, so I love them both… but if we were in Mission: Impossible and they were both about to fall off a mountain, I’d save Mina. Sorry, Liam. (nicknames)

That one line toward the bottom – I love them just the same, I just like them differently, that’s the clincher.

People get along differently. You can’t be genetically predisposed to enjoy spending time with someone if your personalities clash. People are people, offspring or not.

Pied_Pfeffer's avatar

Reading that blog post was awful. I hope that all of his children never see it. That type of acknowledgement can be emotionally damaging, even if it doesn’t surface until years later.

wundayatta's avatar

I question the meaning of favorite here. Yes, he prefers to spend more time with one because that one is older and can do more. I totally understand that. But I seriously doubt that means he likes or loves that one more. And as soon as the younger one can do stuff, I’m sure he’ll do stuff with the younger one, just as much as he did with the older one.

I have two kids, too. When the younger was the one that could do things, I did stuff with her and preferred spending time with her. But now she’s a teen and isn’t interested in me, and my youngest is interested in me, and so we do stuff together.

I found myself wondering if my favorite had changed, because I thought about it the same way the blogger did, too. But I don’t think so. I like them differently. They are different people. They have different preferences. We do different things.

But I don’t think it makes sense to say I have a favorite. Sometimes I prefer to be with one compared to the other. Other times it’s the other way around. But overall? You could put a gun to my head and I honestly couldn’t say I had a favorite. I enjoy them differently. That’s all.

I can not compare. Just as I refuse to compare anyone who matters to me. They are all important, and it is not important to rank them. Makes no sense at all. Unless, I suppose, you want to hurt someone’s feelings.

Bellatrix's avatar

I haven’t read the blog but I don’t have a favourite child. At different times I may feel closer to one or the other but I couldn’t say ‘this one is my favourite’. They are individuals with strengths and weaknesses and at different times they have annoyed or thrilled me. Mostly the latter. Today’s favourite, is mostly likely going to be nearer the other end of the scale at some time soon.

augustlan's avatar

I don’t have a favorite, but we do bond in different ways, based on their personalities. I always love them, of course, but occasionally, none of them seem particularly likeable. ;)

Judi's avatar

That rubbed me the wrong way too.
I live my children differently. Not more or less. And at different times in their lives I have been closer to one or the other.

sarahsugs's avatar

Okay, whatever, people feel different things for different reasons, but why oh why would he post that on-line where either of his children might grow up and read it!?!? Or maybe he’s planning to delete it before his children learn how to read?? I shudder to think what either child might think/feel upon reading that post as an older child, young adult, or adult.

bkcunningham's avatar

I started to explain what he meant and try to justify his remarks. Then I read the original blog that led to the explanation about “his favorite son.”

After reading the original blog, I conclude he’s a gigantic ass and his former wife and stepdaughter are blessed to be rid of him.

Ponderer983's avatar

I’m not a parent, but I can give my response as an Aunt and a grandchild. I know my Grandmother likes me better than my sister. We’ve had a different relationship and a special bond that my sister didn’t have with her. Hard to explain, and while she has never outright said it, it is obvious, apparently. Someone who married into our family recently commented on her observation that my Grandmother has a special relationship with me.

The second scenario as an Aunt is pretty congruous with his blog. I have a 4 year old nephew and a 10 month old nephew. I like the 4 year old better simply because we cn play, talk, etc. The baby is just that, a baby. I hold him, talk to him, kiss him and all that, but I can’t interact really with him. It’s not a matter of love, as I love them both dearly, but right now, I enjoy spending more time with the 4 year old.

cookieman's avatar

Yes, my daughter.

but then, she is an only child

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