Social Question

Tiesha154587's avatar

Is it ok to give your friend space?

Asked by Tiesha154587 (87 points ) September 25th, 2012

It’s been almost three weeks since me and my ex have talk. He told me that he wanted space, and after that night I never called him back. I really want to still be friends with him, but is that wrong? I told one of his friends that it’s on him. What should I do?

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22 Answers

SuperMouse's avatar

You should let him have his space.

Seaofclouds's avatar

I’d say leave him be. Some people have a hard time remaining friends with an ex, so it’s easier for them to just cut all ties rather than trying to maintain a friendship. If he knows you want to be friends, then the ball is in his court right now. I’d say move on with your live and if he calls and wants to be a friend, so be it. If he doesn’t call, it is what it is.

jca's avatar

It may be hard not to call him, because I think when someone is a big part of your life it’s hard to cut that out and leave an empty hole, but you need to try your best to do as he requests. Get busy, take up a hobby, exercise, join a book group, take a walk in the park, see your other friends, go to the movies, go shopping, start a project at home. If he really was meant to be, he’ll come back.

wundayatta's avatar

Definitely give him space. If you broke up with him, he’s hurting, and the last thing he needs is confusing signals from you. He’ll assume you want him back, and is that what you really want? You’ve got to let him go if you pushed him away. It’s not fair to him to keep on pulling him back and pushing him away again.

marinelife's avatar

You broke up. Give him space.

ucme's avatar

Just so long as he doesn’t assume control of uranus.

Buttonstc's avatar

Live the rest of your life and enjoy it. He is your ex. Keep it that way.

If he finally ever does call you to be “friends” just make sure that it is not a booty call. That just sets you up to be used.

gailcalled's avatar

Which ex…the chaste 15-year old or the ex with benefits that you mentioned recently?

(since my ex and I have talked)

“What should I do?” Spend more time paying attention in class and less on the snarled relationships you have established.

Coloma's avatar

Yes, this is a person not a puppet. If you chose to let him go let him remain gone.
Leave him alone, heed the wise advice above.

zenvelo's avatar

Wait, he was your ex and then he wanted space? Stay the course, don’t call him and don’t expect a call from him.

When you are married to someone else and have kid, then you can send him a Christmas card with your pictures. Until then, don’t contact him.

tedibear's avatar

Leave him alone. Give him his space. Do not call him, email him or contact him in any way.

Tiesha154587's avatar

It’s the ex before the boyfriend I have now.

SuperMouse's avatar

@Tiesha154587 if you broke up with this guy, haven’t spoken to him in three weeks, and you have a new boyfriend, why on earth would you want to contact him again? It makes no sense. Leave the fellow alone.

Kardamom's avatar

As I recall the ex in question is the guy who continued having sex with the OP, even after they broke up and she took on another boyfriend (who is only 15 years old, while she is an adult at age 18, and they don’t kiss, hold hands or have sex or go on dates or visit with each other outside of church).

Then, although the OP says that the 15 year old boy is her boyfriend (although her description of what she does and does not do with him makes him seem more like a fellow she occasionally sees at church and nothing more) she was still having sexual relations with her ex, but then she decided that she didn’t want to do that anymore, so she gave the ex “his space” But it seems more like the ex was only using her for booty call or Friends With Benefits and now that she doesn’t want to have sex with him anymore, he has no interest in being “just friends” with her.

I think she should re-think what the term boyfriend means, because neither of these guys seems like they are or were boyfriends.

I also agree with @gailcalled that she should spend more time on her school work, and she should talk to a school counselor about both her school work and her unusual ideas about sex and relationships, and the inappropriateness of attempting to date underage boys.

Tiesha154587's avatar

Well, this weekebd he ( the ex ) had called me , and asked me to hang out with him. I told him im not sure. I am working more on my school things, because i have nothing to do at home. I’m not lost or anything, but I love my boyfriend even more, I know that’s it’s wrong dating someone that’s younger than you, but maybe that’s why I need….. For now.

gailcalled's avatar

@Tiesha154587: _Well, this weekend he ( the ex ) had (sic) called me , and asked me to hang out with him. I told him im not sure.

You are not sure? Are you not paying attention to all the thoughtful answers here? Apparently not. Don’t expect me to repeat myself for the third time. Good luck.

SuperMouse's avatar

@Tiesha154587 so if you “love” your “boyfriend even more” why on earth would you consider hanging with this ex? Perhaps rather than needing to date someone younger then you, you need to stop dating all together for awhile.

Tiesha154587's avatar

@gailcalled:_ You are right. But I am listening to you. I’m not the type to give up so easliy. @SuperMouse:_ If I do that than my boyfriend will be asking me things I can’t explain.

Kardamom's avatar

@Tiesha154587 You can tell your boyfriend that you won’t be dating anyone because you need to concentrate on your schoolwork. Boys can be a distraction to your schoolwork. You should talk to your school counselor too.

Tiesha154587's avatar

I don’t want to hurt him. I’m not sure how to tell him, and we don’t even have time to talk like that.

SuperMouse's avatar

@Tiesha154587 I getting more confused by the minute here. How can you have time to date this boy if you don’t even have time to talk?

Sweetie, you need to watch out for yourself. There is no need to worry about his asking you questions you can’t explain. Simply tell him that you are interested in focusing on school work and it is not a good time to be in a relationship. You are young, you have plenty of time to date, you get one chance to do well in high school.

Tiesha154587's avatar

Well we talk if we see each other at school. I’ll talk to him tonight about it.

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