Social Question

wundayatta's avatar

Can you describe a time when you were confused about your teenage daughter's social life?

Asked by wundayatta (58349 points ) September 29th, 2012

I’d appreciate it if you could describe the events so that I can see what was happening (as far as you knew), and then also tell me what you were wondering about what was going on at the time, and what you might have found out later about what was going on.

If you don’t have daughters, but have a story to tell about a son, that would be fine, too. I have a son who will be in this position in a few years, too.

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6 Answers

nofurbelowsbatgirl's avatar

My daughter used to come home with things, like toys, jewelry, books. I really thought and to this day she will swear that I believed she was selling drugs or bullying the other children into giving her stuff. Turns out kids just like her and give her stuff. lol. She has great friends who still give her stuff and I’ve learned I was just a paranoid mother.

Judi's avatar

My daughter went through an awful grunge stage. I’m not really sure what you’re asking, but it was a really dark time and she was secretive about her friends.
I was at my wits end and asked my pastor why he thought such a beautiful girl would dress like a homeless old man.
In his wisdom be said, “She’s at an age where her body is changing and maybe she is insecure and trying to hide it.”
She’s 30 now and when we discuss it she says there was a lot of truth in that.

wundayatta's avatar

Thank you @Judi and @nofurbelowsbatgirl! Those are both perfect stories to answer this question. I’m just interested in other people’s experiences with their daughters and the things that were or are somewhat mysterious; what you thought at the time, and if there is a later, what you found out later.

snowberry's avatar

One of my daughters was in a grunge stage for a while, which I hated, but then she took a sewing class in high school. She made an about face because she embraced color, fashion, high heels and is now a fashion plate.

Serevaetse's avatar

I’m only twenty, so I have no children of my own; but having just moved on from my teen years, I know that my mom has and probably still thinks some things about me that are absolutely false.

For example, I used to want to stay out late, have fun with my friends, and just feel independent (which I still enjoy) and my mom thought that I was horrible. She thought that I was out doing drugs and drinking, that every guy I spoke to I was sleeping with, and that I just did terrible things and was a liar. This hurt me and made me distance myself from her even more; I pushed away, became secretive, and stopped coming home. I even moved out and lived out of my car. All that time, though, I never sat there and did drugs, or whored out my body or anything; I think parents over-react a lot and think the worst because they feel as though it reflects on them, and makes them a bad person/parent – all daughters want is to be accepted/loved, and to feel beautiful. Whenever my mom/dad would compliment me, I’d be like ‘oh whatever’ and ‘oh you HAVE to say that’ but secretly, I loved it.

Just be positive and honest and respectful and make sure they do the same.

Now I’m just rambling. I’m sorry!!

leopardgecko123's avatar

I’m a 14 year old girl, and my parents don’t get why I never go out with friends. I’m an introvert and like being alone more often than not. I get enough of people in school, and honestly I just haven’t met anyone who I really want to be friends with. But my parents never actually asked me why I don’t like being social. They just tried to push me, and it did nothing. So I think they’ve just given up trying and accept now that I’m not like other kids… finally.

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