Should one pursue a romantic relationship with someone who doesn't speak the same language well?
I would like to hear others’ ideas and personal experiences that may help me determine the real potential of my current romantic relationship. For months I have been dating a man whose native language is Spanish. Although he has been living in the U.S. for decades, his grasp of English is not great. He is aware of this and has turned down job opportunities because of his weak English skills. He speaks well enough to get along in many everyday situations. He stopped attending school at a young age; his reading skills are at a sixth grade level, and his writing skills are perhaps at a third grade level. I am a highly educated, intelligent, and highly communicative person—the kind of person who enjoys talking at length about many topics and uses conversations to deeply connect with others.
I am sincerely questioning whether I can sustain a real relationship with a person who cannot communicate at my level. In every conversation, I have to define several words and/or remind myself to use a bare bones vocabulary. I am conflicted because this man is very loving, sweet, affectionate, respectful, etc., so I do not want to hold it against him that he doesn’t know English as well as I. Are there any fluther members who’ve had success in such a situation? Am I making too big of a deal out of communication? Am I at risk of not really getting to know the man deeply enough if we can’t speak about things in a sophisticated, nuanced way? I appreciate any insights you have to offer.