What are the pros and cons of giving my child either my surname or the father's?
We’re in a happy, committed relationship, and are both delighted over the pregnancy. If we were to one day marry, I am likely to want to keep my surname anyway, if for no other reason than it is my professional name, so the question would still be relevant.
I come from a large family, but all of my child’s cousins have different surnames through marriage, whereas on the father’s side all the cousins have the same surname. This makes me feel like there is more of a “clan” to feel a sense of belonging to on his side.
There is also a sweet argument that says that giving the child the father’s name helps increase the bond between them, that the mother typically has more naturally from having carried and given birth to the child.
But conversely, would I feel disconnected from the child if its surname was different from mine? And would it make me feel uncomfortable in public settings, such as registering for schools etc?
All thoughts gratefully received. I don’t believe in just doing one or the other “because that’s the way it’s always been done”. I want to have thought it through thoroughly and come to the right decision for my family setup.