How should I handle this situation, in which my family disapproves of the person I'm seeing?
Check out the other questions I’ve asked, if you’re curious for the backstory.
I’ve been seeing this great guy for a bit over two months now. Emotionally, mentally, physically – it’s just a great match. It’s been such a short time, and I’ve already seen that his attitude, personality, and the way he handles things in life makes us complement each other very well, as a couple.
It’s certainly not my first relationship.. and I feel like what was lacking in others, has been made up for in this one. Of course, it’s often hard to just be happy without some bumps in the road and unpleasant circumstances. The age difference, the children from a previous relationship… those are the big ones. And I’m more than willing to admit that it is going to be a difficult thing to deal with. But, I’m also not one who jumps head first into relationships, and the fact that I’ve not bailed yet is a testament to how I feel about this one.
My mother asked last weekend if I was seeing anyone. I didn’t want to lie, even though I knew it would likely not be received well. To say she was displeased, would be an understatement… Our family is very “traditional” and I don’t think she quite appreciates the idea of an addition (possibly, in the distant future*) that may complicate things.
It’s been about a week, and last night I received a long email outlining the reasons that it will not work, and why this is not what she wants for me. Honestly, I saw the validity in many of the arguments, as I feel that I’m reasonably intelligent, level headed, and rational. But, he and I have talked, at length on different occasions about these same issues.. I’m always the concerned one, and he is always very reassuring that all issues can be handled/dealt with, as they arise. Nothing about our time together has ever suggested to me otherwise.
So, how do I tell my mother/family that I’m choosing (as it will seem to them) to disregard the advice? Do I acknowledge the email? Do I tell her that I don’t plan on leaving him?
We are close, and I hate that I feel like I’m disappointing her. I also don’t want that I feel as though I have to choose between my mother and my relationship.
Any advice on how to tactfully handle not only the email, but the future relationship between myself and my family? Just never speak about it, so as not to create waves?
This question is in the General Section. Responses must be helpful and on-topic.