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Unbroken's avatar

Where does joie de vivre go when it is lost?

Asked by Unbroken (9382 points ) October 27th, 2012

How do you get it back again?

Technically I am doing better for myself, making the right choices, being responsible, taking care of myself. I have a growing confidence in myself, I have ways to relieve anxiety, friends, a job, a place. I should be brimming but rather at a loss. And I feel crippled by my fears which I realize for the most part unfounded and irrational. Except in nature I cannot find peace or carpe diem and with winter here I can’t indulge the need.

So where do you place irrational fears or overcome them?

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9 Answers

Shippy's avatar

I find talking about them helps. To a person you trust and has your best interest at heart. The other day I was listening to a meditation, and the words “remember a time you felt good or peaceful or happy, feel that feeling now. Choose to feel that feeling most of the time” . It has kind of stuck my mind.

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

Shippy had a great idea. Talk the fears out with a friend. If one happened to you, how would you deal with it? If it happened, what are the possible outcomes? What are the worst case scenarios? How likely is that? Once I think them through that way, they go away. If you don’t have a friend handy do it on paper.

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

Second thought, but too late to edit. If your fear is going to happen, how do you prepare for it? I’m sitting here, square in the path of a monster hurricane. I’m not on the coast, and I’m on a hill, but this is a scary storm. So I’m making preparations to handle everything I can think of, plus I asked the jellies what to do about it. I got some great answers. So I think I’m as ready as I can be. So I’m not too worried about it. Worse case, I’ll be okay and I can help my neighbors deal with it. I’m not looking forward to it, but we’ll get through it. Confront your fears head on and deal with them.

gailcalled's avatar

@rosehipes: Are you talking about joie de vivre? (I do think that “joy de verve” has a certain charm.)

And I do not understand how you can find or lose Carpe Diem.

Unbroken's avatar

@gailcalled Thank you for being nice about my misspelling. As far as Carpe Diem goes. Well I have in the past resented the motto. It is taunting, my mind never shuts up and it gets in the way of the moment much less the day. It is tossed about as some lofty justification for behaving like a hooligan with out regard to others or the future, akin to the oft quoted “live like you are dying.”

@Shippy I just listened to guided meditation as well, Something similar, Remember the happy moments, etc.. It did help, my mind is unused to that type of thinking but I am sure it will get better at over time.

@Adirondackwannabe It does help to work things out in your head when you are facing real fears. I hope you make it through the storm with everything in tact. Glad to know you are prepared.

My fears are mostly in relation to me. I am my worst enemy. I am very tough on self criticism, and usually have a feeling of lurking doom. Change is hard when it is not tangible. Haha forget that change is just plain hard. Not in the moment but in consistency.

I thought if I could live in the moment. To retrieve the idealism and be able to turn my brain off of all the nagging little thoughts and cautions I would be able to make a lasting change work. But some of those behaviors I am changing get free when I let go of the leash. If any of that makes sense. I am trying to understand it too.,

wundayatta's avatar

Perhaps you have seasonal affective disorder. SAD. It makes people lose their joi de vivre during the winter, when there is less sunlight. What people sometimes do is expose themselves to bright artificial light for an hour or so each morning, while reading or something like that.

In addition, if you have suffered from depression at other times in your life, the reduction in light in winter can bring back some anxiety and depression, even if you are using all your coping mechanisms and taking your meds.

Frankly, I don’t really have an answer. I’m struggling with this right now, too. It helps me to know that it is seasonal and situational and even if it gets bad, I can get through it. I’ve done so before. A lot of bad things can happen. I could lose my job. I could lose my family and my home. I tell myself that whatever happens, I will get through it. There will be a way. And most likely, I’m just catastrophizing. Oh mama. It’s going to be a hard winter. I can tell that already.

Misery loves company, they say.

Symbeline's avatar

I deal with them during the day as best I can; mostly I get my ass kicked. When I go to bed, I pack them in a little box and leave them at the foot of my bed so that God can sort it out. And if He doesn’t exist, then fuck Him.

Unbroken's avatar

I have never officially been diagnosed with SAD. But i do have a light.
This is a rough time to be out there. No matter what we wake up the next day and life continues. Unless it doesn’t in which case, I guess we are all right.
@Symbeline I will have to try the box thing.

wundayatta's avatar

The farther North you are, the bigger a problem lack of light becomes in winter. I think people suggest melatonin, too, but look that up, because I know nothing about it. Other anti-depressants might be necessary, too. Ask a doctor about that. Or a shrink.

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