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poisonedantidote's avatar

How much does the average heating bill for hell come to?

Asked by poisonedantidote (21582 points ) November 11th, 2012

So many religion questions today, I thought I would throw in a sensible one.

Assuming hell gets its power from one of the major suppliers, how much does the bill usually come to for the average month?

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16 Answers

ragingloli's avatar

Any supplier that dared to demand payment from the biblical god, or even deny service, would swiftly end up in hell himself.

poisonedantidote's avatar

@ragingloli I always assumed Satan had to foot the bill.

This is an interesting thought alone, if Satan pays up, he does the right thing for once. Assuming however that he is evil about it and does not pay, then he gets cut off. The only thing more evil than Satan is the corporations after all.

ragingloli's avatar

Satan, the first freedom fighter, is supposed to be an inmate in hell, not the administrator. The biblical “god” runs that torture camp.

poisonedantidote's avatar

@ragingloli So, power companies should be tax exempt then maybe?

I thought, maybe Satan used all his names, to dodge the bills. “oh Satan you say? no sorry, this is the Lucifer house hold” ... “oh you looking for Lucifer? this is the Pluto house hold”. You can just dodge bills forever.

I guess “do it for free of burn with the rest of them” works too though.

As for calling it a torture camp, that is not really a fair review. Sure its not 4 stars or anything, but torture camp? I can see you calling it a “hell hole” and that would maybe be reasonable.

FreshlyBaked's avatar

Satan recently installed solar panels to run his electric burners. He got a government grant to go green.

poisonedantidote's avatar

@FreshlyBaked Very sneaky of him, there is no way he could afford it without a grant.

I do doubt how effective that would be though, you would need a load of space to put so many panels.

FreshlyBaked's avatar

@poisonedantidote He’s got all the space he needs. I think his most recent work is somewhere around the Greek parliament. ;-)

livelaughlove21's avatar

Is assume the flames would keep it plenty warm and relatively light down there. Who needs electricity?

zenvelo's avatar

He’s got lots of free labor to mine the coal for eternity, but much of it is fired by geothermal energy, so his costs are minimal.

poisonedantidote's avatar

@zenvelo Lol, very clever, I like it.

Maybe there is something to that hollow earth theory after all

glacial's avatar

I think @livelaughlove21 is right. Satan is definitely a fossil fuels kind of guy.

Symbeline's avatar

Sometimes when he’s short, the Devil takes a loan from the Balrog.

ucme's avatar

Nowt, coz hell’s farts spew forth from a surgically attached, entry level blow torch up the arseholes of those poor, wretched fuckers unfortunate enough to reside there.

flutherother's avatar

Evil is in many ways like radioactivity and if you bring enough evil people together like a nuclear core they will generate enormous heat. Damned (literally) uncomfortable but unavoidable.

JenniferP's avatar

Nothing. Hell is just an English word for Sheol or Hades. It means the grave. Fire is symbolic of eternal destruction. Any god that would burn people forever is not one that I would want to worship.

Espiritus_Corvus's avatar

It is the opinions of some followers of the Abramaic religions that it is the souls which are fed into Hell that are the fuel (a kind of spontaneous combustion), making Hell endothermic and able to burn as long as there are souls to feed it. One may assume condemned souls, of which there appears to be an ever-increasing supply, cost Hell nothing. So the question is whether or not Hell is endothermic or exothermic.

This very question was addressed in a mid-term Chemistry exam at Washington University: The answer by one student was so profound that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet.

Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle’s Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant. One student, however, wrote the following:

“First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let’s look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell.

With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle’s Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added. This gives two possibilities:

1) If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.

2) If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over. .

This student received the only “A.”


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