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Shippy's avatar

I think Fluther has a 'crush' on me, what should I do?

Asked by Shippy (9852 points ) November 19th, 2012

Today I was told “I am their favorite”. Then they said, you look so gorgeous today, and then, when I looked again, they commented that I have a beautiful smile. How should I handle this? Last week they even noticed the burned toast between my teeth. Any advice would be appreciated. I probably am in deeper waters than I know!

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61 Answers

Shippy's avatar

Now they just baked me a cake O.o

bookish1's avatar

Don’t be fooled, they will. drink. your. milkshake!

TheProfoundPorcupine's avatar

I dont know if my Fluther is asking me something nice or trying to tell me my hair is terrible as it asks if I have changed my shampoo??

In other words does my hair smell or does it look like a L’Oreal advert?

Shippy's avatar

@TheProfoundPorcupine “your” fluther, Hmm?

bookish1's avatar

Does Dr. J speak in the royal “We”?

TheProfoundPorcupine's avatar

@Shippy I said my fluther in the hope that if it does mean my hair smells then it will now think awww and won’t go further with the potential insults.

Sunny2's avatar

Didn’t your mother tell you not to be misled by flatterers? Be careful or the wolf may eat your grandmother.

flutherother's avatar

It says I look terrible and the dishes need done. What did I say?

marinelife's avatar

Just receive the love and give it back!

bob_'s avatar

Ask Fluther to put out.

wundayatta's avatar

Listen @Shippy. I’m really concerned for you. Have you seen your shrink lately? I’m not sure how to break this to you, but fluther isn’t really a person. Like, it’s a website, ok? And like, those things that you are quoting that make you think you are being flirted with are programmed into the software here.

They are real!

Although, if you think they are kind of real, and maybe are things a real person is saying to you, that could be evidence that fluther has passed the Turing test and become sentient. And if we were all interacting on the world’s first sentient website, what would that mean? Maybe fluther does say different things to you than he (she?) says to others?

Wow. I never thought about that! Does fluther have gender? Is it a he or a she? Or both? And what sexuality does fluther have? Oh dear. Should that be a fluther question?

But perhaps fluther really does have a crush on you. You’ve got to think seriously. I know you know what it’s like to have a virtual relationship with an entity you believe to be a human. But what if you have actually been relating to software? What if fluther is a suitor for your hand? Perhaps you should be moving to San Francisco?

Oh boy. Now I’m scared for my own sanity. I thought I was being silly, and now I’m taking it seriously. Fluther? Real? A sentient entity?

Oh my god!

The screen!

It’s moving! There are words! It wants me to do what?

Oh my god!

The horror!

josie's avatar

They say that to everybody. Even me.

downtide's avatar

I’m heartbroken. I thought it was me that Fluther loved! ~flounce~

WillWorkForChocolate's avatar

I’m sorry to be the one to tell you this, but they’re lying to you. They tell me the same shit all the time, but the one time I invited them for dinner and… other things… I was brutally rebuffed.

Unbroken's avatar

Hey, wait a minute, no one is answering the question…

What should Shippy do? should we all get wwsd bracelets?

What are the choices:
Write sonnets, run away, take her computer to the shop for reprogramming just in case?

Are there other options?

WillWorkForChocolate's avatar

@rosehips Oh, terribly sorry! You’re right. Ahem. @Shippy should shave his head and join a dolphin-worshiping nudist colony in Mozambique. :D

rojo's avatar

@rosehips It should be WSSD.

bookish1's avatar

@WillWorkForChocolate, @Shippy is a lady!

I am all for the bracelets in any case

WillWorkForChocolate's avatar

Damn, sorry! Okay, same answer applies, haha!

bookish1's avatar

@downtide: Don’t flounce; maybe Dr. J is on team polyamory.

bookish1's avatar

You know, @Shippy , Dr. J wants to run away with me. It’s awfully tempting. I do know how to share though, so don’t worry ;)

augustlan's avatar

We lurve you all. You should just lurve us back. :)

Symbeline's avatar

@augustlan every time I come on here, I just get a picture of a bunch of people shoving crucifixes in my face I still wanna bed Fluther though. And that’s what I would do if it had a crush on me. Take that bad boy to my bed chambers.

augustlan's avatar

Come on over, @Symbeline. We have pillows…

Symbeline's avatar

I’m there, man.

flutherother's avatar

You should look him in the eye while grabbing his tentacles.

Shippy's avatar

@bookish1 Well I certainly need to tell ‘them’ my milkshake is for the boys in the yard?

rojo's avatar

Until you have to ask the question “How can I discourage my Fluther from bringing me LIVE gifts?” you are probably ok.

wundayatta's avatar

Is fluther male or female?

blueiiznh's avatar

Pay no attention to that Fluther behind the curtain.

Shippy's avatar

@wundayatta I think they are genderless, you know keep up with the current waves of progressive thinking?

wundayatta's avatar

@bookish1 Have fun with your genderless date.

If I ever date again, it’s gonna be a woman. That’s final.

bookish1's avatar

@wundayatta : Been there, done that.

dxs's avatar

Sorry to say it but I was just told that I’m their favorite. they told me not to tell anyone but I did anyway

WillWorkForChocolate's avatar

Whatever, I’m just the one they were waiting for. So there.

zensky's avatar

Fluther is known to lie. For example, my desk is not a mess today.

Tropical_Willie's avatar

Flutherer: Let me see your identification.

Dr J: [with a small wave of his hand] You don’t need to see his identification.

Flutherer: We don’t need to see his identification.

Dr J: These aren’t the droids you’re looking for.

Flutherer: These aren’t the droids we’re looking for.

Dr J: He can go about his business.

Flutherer: You can go about your business.

Dr J: Move along.

Flutherer: Move along… move along.

cookieman's avatar

Funny thing, Fluther just said to me, “We bet your hung like a gerbil”.

Now that’s going too far.
Maybe a guinea pig…

wilma's avatar

They dreampt about me last night.

bob_'s avatar

Man, Fluther is such a floozie.

Unbroken's avatar

@bob_ hey no judgement : )

Shippy's avatar

Yes I am beginning to think Fluther is male and likes females. Considering how they treat the poor men. Or maybe they are gay, or transgendered or….. Ugh I am confusing myself again.

Note: They have been promising to do the dishes today, for three days, this relationship is not working at all. I go to the kitchen dishes still there.

wilma's avatar

Apparently my eyes are twinkly. I’m happy to know that.

WillWorkForChocolate's avatar

Apparently, I look “dapper,” despite the fact that I haven’t washed my hair or gotten dressed yet. Lies!

bookish1's avatar

Dude, Fluther’s been expecting me. They definitely like pretty boys.

downtide's avatar

Fluther just let me know the Nobel Committee called, but told them I was busy. ~grumbles~ I was waiting for that call. Now I’ll never get that prize.

wundayatta's avatar

Well it thinks I’m all bad. (Not half bad).

Symbeline's avatar

You deserve a vacation.

That’s what it just said to me. Right, that’s what you say to a jobless sackmongrel like me. Man I feel like Dracula after Mina cockblocked his undead ass.

wundayatta's avatar

Where would you go, @Symbeline?

Symbeline's avatar

Man if I could go on any vacation I wanted, I’d totally go to Japan.

WillWorkForChocolate's avatar

They <3 me. At least, for the moment.

Shippy's avatar

OK! Fine! that’s it. Earlier today I was told “I am the one” now they have told me “Let’s be friends”. Friends? Work me into a frenzy of passion, adoration, I felt loved, I felt cared for, I ignored all the others telling me they too were being propositioned, and now this?

I feel washed out to sea, shipwrecked, the waves of emotion are too much. I can’t handle it anymore. I really do need advice. Sound, good advice.

TheProfoundPorcupine's avatar

They say Wow. You smell good, but I can’t help but feel that the Wow part is more out of shock that I smell good rather than anything else.

bookish1's avatar

@Shippy: Fickle, thy name is Fluther. You’ll probably find your sound advice here.

wundayatta's avatar

When do you people have time to notice what fluther says?

jonsblond's avatar

@wilma Your eyes are twinkly? Lucky you. I just read my greeting as Oh, there’s that twinkie in your eye! Is Fluther trying to warn me? Is someone behind the door, waiting to jab my eye with a Twinkie? Is there a Fluther psychic in the house now? so cool

augustlan's avatar

<throws a twinkie @ @jonsblond>

Shippy's avatar

At least I have one friend Fluther.

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