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fremen_warrior's avatar

Double Date etiquette?

Asked by fremen_warrior (5447 points ) November 21st, 2012

Have any of you Jellies here done this? How does it work? Let’s say it’s not just dinner and drinks but about a whole day’s worth of sightseeing, eating, talking, and drinking (easy with the booze of course and, yes, I am back to casual drinking, if some of you were curious :)). Would it make a difference to the scenario if the other ‘couple’ were not actually dating (I have to iron out some of the details, but I still have about 2 weeks left to do so)? And, finally, if it turns out this actually is a classic double date, who pays the bill (if it’s dinner, drinks at a club, or maybe a gig at a local jazz club or some such place)? Appreciate any tips you can give me on how to, not only, survive this scenario, but also make it a fun experience for all parties involved.

I do not want to get into the details here, so general tips will suffice. Thank you! :-)

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9 Answers

livelaughlove21's avatar

Worrying this much about it will certainly hinder the fun. Just relax and enjoy yourself.

I’d assume each couple would pay for themselves as they would if they were on a date alone.

sinscriven's avatar

Treat it as four people hanging out, regardless of anyone’s relationship status. These kind of things aren’t meant to be times to seriously court someone so relax.

And unless mentioned otherwise, assume that each couple is responsible for themselves, and between your date and yourself, assume that you’ll be covering the bill just in case she’s a traditionalist and doesn’t catch the hint of dutching it.

fremen_warrior's avatar

@livelaughlove21 always good advice to keep calm, thank you :-)

@sinscriven from what I have gathered only the women know each other, my date’s friend knows the other guy of course, does that change the situation somehow? I know I may seem overly worried about this; truth be told I am somewhat nervous about it, you are right. Reason is, I’m feeling really tired of meaningless relationships, and would welcome some sense of ‘stability’. I feel the two of us share a sort of connection, and I just want to make sure I don’t do anything stupid to mess it up – either by treating this too seriously or too casually.

Coloma's avatar

The only real etiquette is don’t steal each others dates unless you all decide to swap partners. lol
Just have fun, don’t over think things, everyone should be prepared to pay their own way and treat any of the others if they so wish, but no obligation.
Yes, just relax, maybe check in with the other couple now and then to make sure they are having a good time or if they want to do anything not already on the agenda

ASK your date what she thinks would be a good time. Asking eliminates anxiety, you can’t read other peoples minds and you shouldn’t try.
Do not make this too contrived of a situation, let it unfold naturally.

Shippy's avatar

I think you would all chip in, that would seem good manners. Then later on if you like your date, you know you can spoil her? If she is female no idea loll

fremen_warrior's avatar

@Coloma ;-)

@Shippy yeah we are talking about a woman here, I guess I should have made that clearer, lol.

zenvelo's avatar

So for me a double date makes each couple responsible for half the tab. And no bringing out the calculator: Just figure the tip at 20% and split it.

In each couple there should be a conversation about who covers the tab, but the person who organized with the other couple is responsible for bringing it up to figure out if that person is covering the whole thing or if you are doing dutch.

augustlan's avatar

Just look at it as if you were hanging out with friends. Everyone gets a say in what you’ll do and where you’ll go, and each person (or couple) is responsible for their own costs. It should have a relaxed atmosphere. If things go your way, you’ll have two new friends out of the deal. Good luck and have fun!

JLeslie's avatar

I agree just think of it as friends hanging out. If another couple is there you aren’t going to saying sweet nothings or a lot of PDA. Just have fun. I would assume the men would split the bill. Or, if one couple drinks and the other doesn’t, which can make a bill very high and unfair for the non-drinkers, then you might round a little to make it more fair insttead of evenly split. Unless going dutch is standard in your circles than you could split it four ways.

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