In relationships, is it better to live in the present or in the future?
Hello! I’m 19 and I’m having a hard time deciding on what to do about my current relationship. First of all, this might become boring because it seems too long and the subject seems to go somewhere else but I just really want to learn wisdom from other people. But thanks in advance! Here’s the situation: I’m currently involved with a very loving girl whom I got to know on text for just two weeks before entering the relationship. She’s the kind of girl who’s very understanding. I know that maybe the majority thinks it’s too fast (well most likely) but here’s what I was thinking back then: even though I’m not fully attracted to her, I think she has the quality of being a great wife: very kind, very understanding, etc; things a man needs in the future. I was also thinking, why go look for someone who makes you feel head over heels in love when in reality, it’s uncertain and might just cause pain not only for her and me but to people we love. And also, in the future, you need a partner in life not a lover as the song in Juno says “part-time lover, full-time friend”. But lately I was thinking “was I thinking too way ahead? Won’t I regret it later?” I mean, who in my age don’t want to be romantically involved with a crush or your dream girl (or maybe it’s just me)? What if in the future I regret missing that part of my life, the feeling of bliss being together with someone you really like. Don’t get me wrong, I like my girlfriend, I want to love her fully. Well to be honest, she has the traits, she just doesn’t have the looks. I know in the future looks won’t matter but it seems like it does for now. When I see a girl who looks like ‘my dream girl’ I think to myself ‘Maybe I should try her, maybe she’s the one; maybe she’s my dream girl’ Looks, wits, passion all in one. I don’t know what to do: should I live in the present and look for someone who makes me feel head over heels in love or should I live in the future and continue this relationship? What are your thoughts? Please help.
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