Do you ever feel like you will never fit in with society?
This question could go a million ways, so feel free to answer it as it applies to you.
I’m a die hard night owl, and I don’t mean that I’m content staying up until midnight, I mean I am up until 6–7am scouring my floors and full of energy, being productive. Getting up for a 9am appointment has always been next to impossible. I have much better luck staying up all night, and then falling asleep later that afternoon. The second I have to adhere to a more traditional sleep schedule, though, my entire body goes haywire. I usually end up with severe insomnia and I fall into a depression and become kind of pathetic. However, if I am left for a long stretch of time to sleep as my body wishes and without social obligations disrupting my natural patterns, I am productive and happy and creative. I also have no trouble sleeping, and I firmly believe that my lifetime of chronic “insomnia” is just a reaction to fighting my body’s rhythm.
I often have the same feelings about working a traditional job. I do much better on jobs where I can work the graveyard shift, but that usually compounds the issue of sleep when I also run into social obligations that force me to flop my sleep schedule around a lot. When I have to work a day job, I end up being so pushed to my personal limits that I easily burn out and start to fail.
I often feel like my nature is so backwards compared to what is socially “normal,” that in order to function in the real world, I have to put for a great deal of effort which always seems to leave me unhappy – and I really believe also unhealthy.
For those of you who can relate, in what way do you feel like you are unable to mesh with societal standards? Have you felt that way in the past and found a way around it? Or have you embraced your nature and found a way to make it work for you?