How do I buy gifts for a girlfriend who doesnt have means of her own?
I’m in the early stages of a relationship with a younger woman. We met, it was a powerful physical attraction when we first laid eyes on each other, and we’ve spent the past few weeks learning about each other and having those wonderful late night talks getting to know each other. Today we’re in that really awesome stage of an early relationship where the world looks like it’s full of rainbows, unicorns, and M&Ms.
One of the things I really enjoy doing for people I care about is sharing tokens of my love. Be it words, actions, or actual gifts like flowers, books she’ll appreciate, or at this time of year, fun Christmas gifts to make her feel loved and spoiled, I feel like this is an important part of who I am. I am a giving soul.
The problem is she has no income. She lives on very limited means. And I’ve come to realize that she’s uncomfortable with the gifts I’m giving her because while she acknowledges what they’re about, and they make her feel really special, she has no means to return the favor in kind. I’ve tried telling her that it’s not a ‘tit for tat’ situation. But I’ve come to understand that the gifts are making her feel bad because she simply doesn’t have the means to buy me something, too.
So how do I do what I want—make her feel special not just with my actions and my words, but bestow upon her nice things which feel good to give, and to receive, but at the same time, be sensitive to her situation?
This is new for me and I don’t know the right thing to do. What say you, Fluther? :)
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