[NSFW] Is sex sacred or profane?

Time for a little levity in a weekender question.

The famous French father of modern sociology, Émile Durkheim noted that all religions separate things into that which is sacred, and that which is profane. He noted that this was just as true of the primitive totemic religion of the most remote, isolated Australian Aborigines he studied as it was of the Catholic Church or any other modern religion.

But religions don’t all agree on what is sacred, and what’s profane. Aborigines think that their clan’s totem animal is sacred. The Pope thinks it’s meat. As long as it’s not a one of a very limited set of prohibited animals, the Rabbis and Mullahs agree.

Tantric religions think sex is sacred. Abrahamic religions treat it as profane; Popes, Rabbis and Grand Muftis alike. So who’s right?