Social Question

DeNoir's avatar

Is my friend being overly competitive?

Asked by DeNoir (77 points ) December 2nd, 2012

I’ve been friends with this woman for a while, and whenever I make a female friend she couldn’t care less. On the other hand, when it comes to me making a male friend it becomes a competition for attention, time. etc. Nevermind the fact that she’s been married for quite a few years and has two children. Why is this?
She also tried to compete for my husband’s attention/time before we tied the knot, so this is nothing new. She’s also very competitive in other areas as well, and I always feel like she’s trying to show that she’s somehow superior to me – as if she knows better, or could take what I have.

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8 Answers

hearkat's avatar

Not knowing the person, I couldn’t begin to analyze her behavior. However, you may want to evaluate your definition of “friend”, as this person does not seem to be a genuine friend to you. You’ve given us little information to work with, but true friends don’t compete for attention and don’t belittle you. She sounds like she has some issues to work on, and I think you might be better off without her in your life.

FutureMemory's avatar

Reminds me of junior high. Sounds like she never grew up.

SadieMartinPaul's avatar

I’m curious where you live. You don’t need to be too specific by providing the city, state, country, etc.; I don’t mean to violate your privacy. But, could you tell us something very general, such as the northeastern part of the U.S., or Europe, or the Carribean…?

DeNoir's avatar

@PaulSadieMartin : Why does it matter where I live.

marinelife's avatar

She doesn’t sound like a very positive person. Why do you introduce her to new friends? Why to you maintain the friendship at all?

DeNoir's avatar

@marinelife I guess I’m learning the hard way. :( She’s always been like this, always trying to “one up” me for one reason or another. I assumed that she cared about me and wanted to maintain a friendship with me when she contacted me again about a year ago, maybe I should have just left it fall to the wayside…

marinelife's avatar

@DeNoir It’s not too late. Stop contacting her and don’t return her calls.

SadieMartinPaul's avatar

@DeNoir Simply because culture, and the resulting human behavior, can vary significantly among geographic areas. In some regions, women are oddly nasty and competitive when it comes to male attention; it’s just the way they were raised. Sure, stereotyping is never fair, but cultural steeping can provide helpful insights into why someone acts a certain way.

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