What do you think of this situation (alcohol and partying)?
I feel really weird even talking about this, but here goes:
Ever since I’ve been physically able to drink (as in I’m not on medication that will shut down my liver), I have been doing so, very infrequently, in the company of good friends. To put it into perspective I stopped that medication over a year ago and I have been drunk five times in my life. I think that’s extremely reasonable. It’s something new I can do, and I take pleasure in doing it, but it’s not running my life. I have never thrown up, blacked out, or had a hangover. The worst is I have forgotten some details of a night of drinking.
I don’t think it comes across accurately though. Though it may not always appear to be true here on Fluther, I am a very bubbly and enthusiastic person. This gets multiplied almost immediately when I drink. I feel this makes me appear drunker than I really am. I have had people try to cut me off when I am just mildly buzzed before. I also get very eager about drinking, as I think it’s very fun and it’s still a novel experience for me, and I just can’t get over the fact that I can get away with doing things like that now. I think my excitement about it also makes me come across strangely.
Two nights ago I took it a little too far for the first time. I feel that is pretty normal for someone who is still learning her limits. I took one shot too many and learned that past a certain point, I stop being a happy drunk and start having existential crises. I cried for several hours and my poor boyfriend, who is a non-drinker but usually doesn’t mind me getting drunk, had to deal with me. I still didn’t throw up or have a hangover the next morning though.
Now people are acting very strangely about what happened. The friend whose apartment I was at actually told me yesterday that he thinks I’m an alcoholic. My boyfriend had a talk with me about how he gets worried about me when I drink. He just won’t let go of what happened even though I have told him a hundred times that I do not want to get that drunk again, and I have learned my limit, and I will not drink past it anymore. I don’t understand, because tons and tons of people drink in college, puke all over the place, and yet it’s fine, it’s just college life, but when I drink, for some reason everyone thinks it’s a huge fucking deal.
Part of me feels everyone is blowing things way out of proportion, the other part of me is letting them get to me. The fact that I even feel the need to ask this question has me feeling weird, because I’ve always heard that if you have to ask, it’s a problem. I don’t want to stop drinking, but only because it’s fun and I’m enjoying myself. Is that really a problem? Jellies, you guys know me pretty well by now. I would appreciate your thoughts a lot. Thanks.