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oatmeal1642's avatar

Is this 200 word sentence grammatical?

Asked by oatmeal1642 (180 points ) December 2nd, 2012

For my class ‘Grammar & Proofreading’, we have to write a 200 word grammatical sentence that includes at least one of each of the following elements.

1) Absolute Phrase
2) Parallel Construction
3) Sentence Modifier
4) Restrictive Modifier
5) conjunctive adverb
6) Correlative Conjunction
7) Subordinator

My sentence includes more than one of each of these, but we were only asked to identify one. If anyone who is amazing at grammar could read over my sentence and let me know if it is proper before I hand it in tomorrow, I would greatly appreciate it!! Thanks.

Here is the sentence(the numbers indicate the elements):

Feeling more anxious than a dog watching his owner(1), who is going for a quick trip to Tim Hortons, about to possibly leave him forever alone, I think about the last few months (which have been the busiest of my life due to a tremendous workload and a life-depending teachers college application to fill out(2)) and how much time I’ve wasted due to procrastination, my best friend and worst enemy(3), yet I continue to procrastinate, losing precious time for eternity, by playing meaningless games, such as The Sims Social – It’s pet week! – on Facebook and by finding my way into my sister’s room to be greeted by a rictus smile as she accepts my distractions without demur so that she, too, can procrastinate until we are both riddled with so much anxiety that(4) we take out the stress on each other, becoming bitter galoots; however(5), I have realized that neither playing games nor(6) bothering my sister will help me because it is pointless to procrastinate when(7) I could have had all of my work complete by now, but I know that even though I have come to this realization, I will very pathetically continue to procrastinate.

1) Absolute Phrase
2) Parallel Construction
3) Sentence Modifier (Appositive)
4) Restrictive Modifier
5) conjunctive adverb
6) Correlative Conjunction
7) Subordinator

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7 Answers

Jeruba's avatar

#4 is not a restrictive modifier. It’s a different kind of “that.”

oatmeal1642's avatar

‘than a dog who is watching his owner’ – would this be correct?

Dutchess_III's avatar

I find it odd that your instructor would encourage you to write a run-on sentence….what is the goal of the exercise?

SadieMartinPaul's avatar

I hereby challenge you to parse that sentence! Or, even better, ask your instructor to do the parsing.

CWOTUS's avatar

Were I you, I would compose a 200-word sentence to describe the utter uselessness of the exercise assigned here. It’s not useless to understand those elements of writing, I suppose, but a requirement to write “a 200-word sentence” is like asking firefighting candidates to invent and describe the best ways to commit and get away with arson.

And I could put that sentence together with relative ease, I think, if I understood what all of these elements are. When I was in school – and believe me, I abhor sentences that begin that way, so imagine how abhorrent it is for me to write – we learned to write “clearly” even with complexity, not with all kinds of jargon.

Good luck widdat.

Response moderated (Spam)
SomeoneElse's avatar

I wonder if your instructor uses text-speak when no one is watching, with scant punctuation and disregard for grammar?

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