Social Question

troubleinharlem's avatar

[NSFW] What "sex myth(s)" did you believe while you were a virgin?

Asked by troubleinharlem (7951 points ) December 18th, 2012

WARNING TO VIRGINS: This thread may contain spoilers.

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43 Answers

janbb's avatar

That sexual compatibility would be easy to accomplish.

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

That having sex would make me feel different. It didn’t.

ucme's avatar

I feared that if the girl farted when I was in full thrust, this would blow back my balls & cause me to withdraw…I was only 25 ½ at the time, mad crazy fool that I was.

AshLeigh's avatar

That “WARNING TO VIRGINS: This thread may contain spoilers.” just kills me! Hah.

livelaughlove21's avatar

Hm…I thought I’d bleed and that it would be very painful. I suppose that’s not a myth because it’s true for some women, but I didn’t bleed at all. It was uncomfortable, but not painful. Luckily, the person I was with had enough common sense to go slow so he didn’t hurt me.

I agree with @Simone_De_Beauvoir about not feeling different. It was sort of anticlimactic in that I didn’t wake up the next morning feeling like a new woman. Oh well…

tedd's avatar

I do not remember this from my childhood, but have had it relayed to me by my older brother and will now share it with you all here for everyone’s enjoyment.

When I was a young child, under 10 years old, I apparently thought that sex was “putting your face between a woman’s boobs and shaking it back and forth really loudly.”

bookish1's avatar

That I should only have it with people I loved.
I was very lucky in that my first experience was with someone worthy, someone whom I loved and who loved me. But after that relationship, I spent far too long conflating sex and love, which got me into a lot of trouble.

gailcalled's avatar

Simultaneous and effortless orgasms with no prep., possible with someone you love (read; husband, given the tenor of the times.)

If you have unprotected sex even once, you will get pregnant, particularly if you are (still) unmarried.

Seek's avatar

That you should wait for marriage. What a waste that was.

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

That everyone is good at making love. God there are some clueless people out there.

BhacSsylan's avatar

Oh man do I have a lot. But the one I remeber best is that being sexually active meant I would not fantasize about anyone/anything else anymore.

Aster's avatar

That I’d be consumed with guilt.

Pandora's avatar

That I would freak out and not be able to let anyone ever see me naked and probably die a virgin. I had no idea that how passion can make all your fears suddenly disappear and the only thing you don’t want is for the other person to stop….. ever!
And as @Aster said. Guilt and shame take a long vacation. LOL

burntbonez's avatar

That there would be a magical, mystical connection. Well, it is magical and mystical, but not quite the way I imagined it would be.

Hypocrisy_Central's avatar

That it smelled like fish and tasted like moldy cheese…...

Akua's avatar

I believed that like on television, there would be this mad passion and it would feel so good that my insides would explode from the inside out while declaring our undying love and be everything I had read in the Harlequin romance novels. I thought it would be romantic and afterwards we would live happily ever after.
Instead I bled all over his sheets and it was THE most painful thing I could ever imagine and I’m still not sure he got it all the way in. I begged him to stop midway.

Unbroken's avatar

That teenage boys knew about foreplay.

That sex came with a cosmic instruction book.

I would stop myself from cuming because I thought if I got wet it must be pee.

filmfann's avatar

That the best way to satisfy a woman was by “fisting” her.

Response moderated (Spam)
wildpotato's avatar

I thought that men had no control over when they orgasm, and that orgasming was always simultaneous with cuming.

janbb's avatar

@wildpotato do they have control?

tedd's avatar

@janbb Sure, we can slow down can’t we? lol

janbb's avatar

@tedd I need proof, proof I tell ya!

BhacSsylan's avatar

There are definitely ways to delay it. How sucessful they are depends on a number of things, but it can be done. (And beyond just slowing down. Though that does work, too :-P )

tedd's avatar

@janbb Alright, when can you be over for a…. demonstration ? lol

burntbonez's avatar

Don’t men desensitize as they grow older? Taking longer and longer as time goes on?

wildpotato's avatar

@janbb I’ll PM you.

Unbroken's avatar

Wait on the topic of cumming v orgasm v female ejaculation these differences only apply to females right?

For instance a male that ejaculates 5 times a sex session is not actually orgasming correct? And can males actually dry orgasm or would it be cum? That is what happens for people wth vasectomies correct? And where does tantra come in as far as terminology description of pleasure?

Apparently we still have plenty of experimenting to do.

janbb's avatar

I always understood coming and having an orgasm (it’s a noun, not a verb) to be the same thing whether for a man or a woman.

gailcalled's avatar

I agree (with both premises) but see a difference in relativistic speeds.

janbb's avatar

@gailcalled Yes, I would talking more about the terminology than the speed.

gailcalled's avatar

Remember Speedy Gonzalez? or what that about something else?

Unbroken's avatar

Well have you ever spasmed uncontrollably without releasing fluid? This is orgasming, the release of fluid or cum is cumming and of course female ejaculation is squirting.

Not sure what the deal for men is though.

And speed well that seems to be a different topic? Lol speedy gonzalez.

burntbonez's avatar

Geez. A whole lot of myths here I wish I’d heard when a teen. I still don’t know about them. Sigh.

wildpotato's avatar

See, that’s the very point my experience makes me think is up for debate, actually. I’ve been with a guy who would sometimes orgasm without releasing seminal fluid. I was worried the first time this happened that I hadn’t actually gotten him off, but he assured me he wasn’t “faking” and that it felt just like a regular orgasm.

Unbroken's avatar

@wildpotato That makes sense to me.

In my experience this guy came usually about 5 times per session really quickly. I think he didn’t have a true orgasm until the last one. Because the engine stayed high throttle.

Although there was this tantric guy who rarely felt the need to cum at all. He said he rode over his urge to cum and reached greater hieghts. Whatever that means.

Unbroken's avatar

@burntbonez There is always time to learn.

burntbonez's avatar

@rosehips Not bloody likely at my age. I’ve never met that type of gal. I don’t think it’s likely I ever would. I don’t run in the right crowd. I think there is some accountant god out there who cast a spell on my life and said I would live like I was an accountant even if I am the farthest thing from an accountant there is.

Unbroken's avatar

@burntbonez Wow that type of gal? What type of gal is that and how would you know?

Then you are being agiest, plenty of older people engage in healthy and active lifestyles. Some not so healthy, but you get a bit of that in ever group.

Last you are bashing and stereotyping accountants. You may feel you have the right to, since you are apparently one and likely know, have known a few. But so have I and there is nothing out there that says they are sexless many I know pursue casual encounters and have quite an active life with little personal attachments, which isn’t my thing, but to each their own.

They just take calculated risks more so then other groups I have noticed.

So I think I am starting to understand your biggest enemy in romantic encounters is you and your preconceptions A lack of confidence. Or maybe it is confidence that you will be unconfident.

Anyway I am ruffling your feathers a bit. You didn’t offend me with “that type of gal” statement. I understand it is probably due to the way you were raised, also you haven’t seen my absence of a sex life. : ) I hope I didn’t offend you.

burntbonez's avatar

Sorry to burst your bubble, @rosehips, but I wasn’t referring to you when I referred to that type of gal.

I’ve also learned through long exposure, that when people say “no offense meant,” it’s almost always because they know they offended you and are hoping that if they say they didn’t mean it, they’ll get away without any consequences. So, even though I didn’t take any offense, this is just to let you know that you don’t need to worry about it.

jonsblond's avatar

If he wanted to have sex with me it meant he loved me. :/

Unbroken's avatar

@burntbonez I know you don’t know who I am and would not presume to make judgements on me. You seem pretty careful of that through past posts. But I interpreted ‘that kind of gal’ to mean any woman who enjoyed sex. Whatever additional preconceptions you put on that as well.

As a woman who happens to enjoy sex I tried to approach this as not directed to me but involving a category of people I probably fit in to. Aware that you aren’t younger I was then able to consider that conceptions are based first on environment and influences and can and is only usually adapted after exposure.

Given that the woman’s movement happened in the 60’s and the dissonance and mixed messages that still effect and surround women I decided this was unfortunate viewpoint considering any woman has the potential to enjoy sex and no stereotype can be ascribed.

I also realized the intention of your statement was not meant to offend. So I could even as a strong supporter of women not take offense to the label assigned that historically has negative connonations.

I admit saying no offense does seem passive aggressive. I meant merely to be clear. But I wanted to point out the fallacy and the lack of hope in your statements as well and I did this rather bluntly and given that there is lack of body langauge I added it as measure to give clarity and context to what I said. Though in hindsight I probably should have omitted the last paragraph or two altogether.

I added the last part as more info that even women who enjoy sex have restraint and don’t have to be controlled by their passions any more then men do or for any other pleasurable indulgences that either sex partakes.

It is hard to know how to effectively communicate. For me any way it is something I struggle with. I am convinced that I just need more practice at it. I am used to reading books or writing for myself having inner dialogues or ones with pets or close friends. I do a fair bit of reading between the lines.

Sometimes I even forget I can ask questions other then in my head. This leads to much confusion and flawed premises, as you’ve witnessed. It drives my accountant friend nuts I wonder if that is coincidence.

You see this is also an example because now I am overexplaining. I am aware of this and yet I know I don’t want to erase the text or edit myself.

burntbonez's avatar

@rosehips Well, I have no idea what to say to you. I am having a difficult time understanding you. I’m sorry if I offended you in some way. I’m sure you are a nice person, and if you like sex, that’s great. But I’ve not met anyone even remotely like you—all of you, not just the sex liking part—in my life. And even if I had, I doubt we would have spoken. People tend not to notice me in real life. I have come to accept that.

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