What to do when a cousin disrespect my mother?
Our house is a duplex type of house, meaning there are two families living in here, one is my family, and the other is my auntie’s family. We lived here ever since me and my cousins were kids.
It was just this Christmas when the quarrel happened. My cousin’s daughter loved to go out, to amusement parks. She is my neice, who’s only 4 years old. My mom was eager to take out my neice to amusement park because to my mom, Christmas is really for kids. When I was a kid, my mom would spoil me every Christmas just for me to have a fun. I always have a wonderful childhood.
When I woke up that early morning, I asked my cousin, where are our families going, then she answered “I don’t know, your mom told me we go to (insert amusement park)” When she said that, I assume that that cousin of mine also like to go that amusement park.
My cousin has a brother. So I have two cousins here in this house who I treat as my real life brother and sister as I grew up with them. After lunch that time, my mom asked my cousin’s brother to drive our car. Their car only got 5— seating so my mom let them use our car, which has 8-seating. Actually, our car is always used if we have important events such as birthdays, because it’s quite decent.
My mom told me to go with them to the amusement park. I asked my mom “what about you and dad?” She said, “as much as I want to go, I cannot leave your dad behind. He doesn’t want to go.” The reason why my dad didn’t want to go is because he didn’t want to be a burden. He just got hit by a stroke last September and his right body is paralyzed. Right now, he can walk and go up and down stairs slowly, but he cannot move his right arm yet. He was always our driver before, but since that stroke happened to him, we always asked my guy cousin to drive our car. My guy cousin would also asked if he can borrow that car, and we gladly let him drive it.
That Christmas, my niece started to cry. She always cry because at that age, she is already short-tempered and impatient. The reason why she cried is because, her grandmother told her “No, we will not go to amusement park, we will just stay here.” Then her grand dad also got angry by the attitude of my 4-year old niece. Her mom (my girl cousin) also got angry with her daughter.
My mom told me to go to the car now, together with my niece because my guy cousin has already parked our car outside house, a signal that we’re ready to leave.
As I was in the garage that time, waiting for the others to go down, I heard my niece’s grandmother (my aunt) scowl at me “your mom and dad wouldn’t go with and us, and yet your mom’s forcing us to go out!” I said to her “my dad could not go because his body could not handle the long walks on the amusement park” Then she said “eventhough! We don’t want to go!” In my mind, why didn’t they tell it to mom ahead of time and say it to her clearly. I know my mom would understand.
My niece and I was already in the car when I overheard my girl cousin shout at my mother ” The next time, don’t tell my daughter to go there, to go to (amusement park)! ” She said it in a manner that made me jump out of my feet. It sounds very foul, and my neighbor also overheard it. My mom didn’t want how my cousin shout those words. My cousin also pointed her fingers as she said those words. My mom got very angry. I could not stop my mom when she said ” Why are you disrespecting me?! Why do you answer back that way?!” I thought my cousin would stop and said her sorry, but no. From downstairs, she went up and confront my mom and said “When auntie, when did I answer you back harshly?! Tell me?!” Which I found funny and ironic. Why is she asking that? Didn’t she know, she’s already harsh as she asked that. She was pointing her fingers, and she shouted as well. Then she started to cry which I don’t know the reason why.
Then my dad got angry as well. As I told you, he got hit by a stroke before and it affects the way he speaks. The words stutter as he said ” get the car inside! right now! get the car inside the garage!” He was angry because he saw his wife being disrespected by my girl cousin. My girl cousin has the confidence to say “No uncle, it’s not you that I was angry,I’m angry with aunt, not you“Then she proceed to arguing with my mom. Worse is, my cousins’ mom and dad join with the arguing. My mom got nothing to do but be angry with them. They even said to her “Our situation is already okay!We don’t wanna got out and yet you force us! You give our little kid a reason to think about that amusement park!”
Actually, we never really force anyone. My mom never force anyone. We only thought about the happiness of the little kid. We wanted them to go out and have fun even if my mom and dad are not with us to that amusement park. My mom and I are always concern about others than ourselves. We wanted others to enjoy. As much as possible, we wanted the last to enjoy as long as we see other people happy. Now, I realize that sometimes, people wouldn’t appreciate that.
Up to this day, the feeling is awkward. Of course we’re living in the same house and we were not talking and bonding like before. My cousin and her family have not said their sorry, and I don’t expect her to said her sorry because her pride is very important to her.
It was the first time that my cousin directly disrespect my mother. And it was not a good sight because I for one, I never disrespect my mother. I don’t say harsh words to her. I respect her. My cousin always got issues about her anger management, but what she did to my mother, I could not deal with.
I sleep beside my mother, and she cannot always sleep, thinking about what my cousin did to her. I feel sorry for my mother. I wanted her to be happy. She will be in her 60’s in a few years and I don’t want her to live her life like this. I am very good at anger management. I can be in control of my feelings, but I am not very sure if my mother could handle this.
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