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ETpro's avatar

[Possibly NSFW] What is it with guys named Dick and politics?

Asked by ETpro (34217 points ) January 4th, 2013

OK all you hot, sexy, slippery Jellies, TGIF!!! Here’s one I know you can sink your teeth into.

Let’s get a grip on this whole Dick thing. Tricky Dick Nixon got the ball/s rolling way back in 1973. While he appears to have been so undersexed he never could get it down Pat, his ever devious mind conceived of the Watergate burglary, a scandal notable both in the depth of criminal wrongdoing involved as well as the complete needlessness of the plot. Nixon was a shoe-in to win the upcoming election, but he just couldn’t bear to do so without cheating. Instead, this Dick had to go to extreme lengths to steal his rival’s campaign plans.

Next came the Dick Morris meltdown. On the same day that Bill Clinton was about to take the stage in 1996 for his big convention speech, all the air got sucked out of the room, and the press ignored the convention speech in their desperate rush to cover the Dick Morris / Washington Call Girl scandal.

Finally, as if one dick is never enough, there was Dick Armey, the former House Majority Leader from 1995 to 2003. His fall from Grace (he may have fallen off other girls too) came when his extramarital dalliances became one more of Washington’s worst-kept secrets. Toss in for good measure him just extorting $8 million from Tea Party Astroturfing lobbying firm, FreedomWorks with the help of a gun-toting friend. The pair extracted the not-insubstantial deal for a promise by Armey to keep his particular Dick out of FreedomWorks till death do them part. Pretty good pay to NOT work somewhere, wouldn’t you say?

So what’s with all these Dicks. Are they living up to (or maybe down to) cultural expectations for dicks? Sure most dicks are a bit crooked. But not bent like a screwball.

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20 Answers

SavoirFaire's avatar

Well, the world is full of Dicks. Why should politics be any different?

bookish1's avatar

Let’s not forget Congressman Weiner.

SavoirFaire's avatar

@bookish1 Yeah, he’s a big one. Wouldn’t want to forget.

ETpro's avatar

@SavoirFaire True, but when even a whole Armey of Dicks can’t keep themselves clean, I’m not sure we are going to lick the Dick problem any time soon. All we can do is get down on our knees and beseech the almighty for the power of patience.

@bookish1 Ah, how could I have forgotten Congressman Weiner. Clearly, first name’s aren’t the only source of political prick syndrome. Will we ever be able to lick this Dick problem, or is it just going to keep cumming up over and over again?

janbb's avatar

I don’t know anyone named Dick Politics.

Yetanotheruser's avatar

Dick Politics before they dick you!

Pingu's avatar

How have Dick Cheney and John Boehner not yet been mentioned? Yes, I know it’s pronounced “Bay-ner.”

gailcalled's avatar

More presidents have been named James than any other. Too bad that no one thought of a slang equivalent for that.

What a James you are.

ETpro's avatar

@janbb If we run across one, let’s save the time and simply refuse to vote for the prick. I can see the banner. “Stick with the better prick. Just say NO to Dick.”

@Yetanotheruser Roger that. :-)

@Pingu How could we possibly leave those two royal examples out?

@gailcalled Why thank you. I’m a James too. I hope you liked my translation of the Bible. That was so much work I have to get started on it 340 years before I was even born.

gailcalled's avatar

@ETpro: Samuel Pepys turned “Roger” into an interesting descriptive verb.

And speaking of the bible, we certainly do not want to turn this into another politics/ religion thread after the bloodshed of the other night.

ETpro's avatar

@gailcalled Point taken. Or “Roger that”.

cookieman's avatar

How about good old Dick Swett ?

Pingu's avatar

@cookieman that is the most unfortunate name.

Pachy's avatar

Let’s add former House Majority Leader and Tea Party favorite Dick Armey to this ignominious list. He’s the guy who received a huge payout when he left FreedomWorks, saying he “couldn’t leave with empty pockets.”

ucme's avatar

Dick Cheney sounds like an excercise in sado-masochism to these ears.

cookieman's avatar

@Pingu: It is terrible – but what I don’t understand about “Dicks” is, why choose that nickname from “Richard”?

Especially if your last name is “Swett”. Like it didn’t dawn on you?!

Rick, Ricky, Rich, Richie – Sure

Dick?!?!

SABOTEUR's avatar

People seem to live up to their names.

My name is Rip.
I sleep a lot.

Makes sense to me!

Shippy's avatar

Obviously to get ahead you need to be called Dick, seemingly? Or to be one you know dickhead

ETpro's avatar

@cookieman & @Pingu The name sure fits, but AFAIK, he managed to remain scandal free. Perhaps he took so much ribbing in elementary school he grew up a humble sort.’

@Pachyderm_In_The_Room Armey, Dick managed to make the OP details. Empty pockets is not something a Dick Armey need ever worry about.

@ucme Ha! Great point. Marry him up to Unchained Melody.

@SABOTEUR I’ve actually noticed how people often do live up to their names. Jim here, and you can often find me in the gym. Is that where you go to get ripped, or is a bar the medium of choice?

@Shippy It’s probably the dickhead part of living up to that name that leads so many Dicks into politics.

SABOTEUR's avatar

@ETpro Interesting question, sir…30 years ago I would have answered, “I’m a solitary drinker.” Funny, I never considered that before.

No…the Rip I refer to is Washington Irving’s Rip Van Winkle, who sat beneath the shade of a tree to nap and woke up 20 years later.

(Ironically, my surname happens to be Washington. Always found that peculiar…but then again, I always found it peculiar that parents would name their newborn Rip.)

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