Social Question

Highbrow's avatar

Do you believe in love at first sight?

Asked by Highbrow (366 points ) January 7th, 2013

My answer would be clearly no. My opinion is that love at first sight is merely lust in disguise, quite simply. How could you possible love someone you’ve never even met or talked to before? You’re attracted to their physical attributes and the vibes they send your way—nothing more. Lust becomes love after you’ve sat down and spoken intimately with them, learned their secrets and their insecurities, and can be 100% yourself around them.

What are your views about the question ?

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27 Answers

ucme's avatar

It’s an empty meaningless gesture originating from the minds of the truly twee folk.

Kropotkin's avatar

Yes, I believe in love at first sight. When I walk through town, I’ll fall in love with at least half a dozen or more women. Unfortunately for them, most do not reciprocate my love, probably due to some pent up emotional issues or past psychological trauma. It’s a sad world that so many women are too broken to accept my love.

elbanditoroso's avatar

No, that’s impossible.

I believe in attraction at first sight – you see someone and you think – she/he is absolutely great – but that’s just one aspect (physical attraction) of the person. For all you know, she may be a castrating bitch.

Love develops over time and takes in all different aspects of a person, not just the physical beauty.

dabbler's avatar

I think it’s possible. But usually it’s infatuation or lust.
A fair test is whether or not both people got the same feeling at the same time.

When infatuation and/or lust happen at the same time as genuine mutual admiration and respect and compatibility you might have a recipe real ‘love at first sight’.
See how you both feel tomorrow.

If the ‘love’ is only happening for one of the persons then it’s definitely infatuation/lust, not love.

burntbonez's avatar

I believe it, or something like it is possible. I think there are people we recognize due to a lot of subconscious cues as being like us. Certain people have a look on their face that speaks of, well, whatever it speaks of. Sometimes you see it, and without really being aware of it, connect with them.

Most people ignore that feeling though, because we don’t trust that knowledge. We’re more comfortable getting to know people over a long period of time. It’s safer. But I believe it is possible to see someone and know them instantly, and fall in love with that person. Possible. But not something I would act on.

bookish1's avatar

It sounds ridiculous, but I’ve experienced it in a mutual way. Fell in love with this girl from a distance and didn’t find out until a year later that she had feelings for me as well, and it ended up being a wonderful relationship. I don’t really expect this to ever happen again, though.

jonsblond's avatar

I knew the moment I first met my husband that there was something about him I’ve never felt with anyone else. I can’t explain it. We had an instant connection. Was it love at first sight? Possibly. We’ve been inseparable ever since. That was over 21 years ago.

syz's avatar

Attraction, chemistry, infatuation, lust, yes. Love, no.

wildpotato's avatar

I didn’t believe in it until it happened to me. I walked into a gas station late at night with a buddy, made eye contact with the clerk, and just… knew this other person, immediately. It was a bit scary at first, how certain I felt about this guy I when I had so few facts about him. I think you are right, and that this cannot properly be called love because love takes time to develop, but I think the effect is more than just infatuation or lust. They say pheromones might have something to do with it, so perhaps we could call it an extreme type of attraction.

picante's avatar

Chemistry that, when acted upon, is likely to stifle the intellect, ignite the insanity neurons and lead to an ultimate heartbreak. Love is only the illusion created by blind infatuation. At least that’s been my experience.

Pachy's avatar

I believe in attraction at first sight. Love does, and should, take time to develop.

GloriaEstefan's avatar

Of course there can be love at first sight. Doesn’t anyone have kids?

El_Cadejo's avatar

I didn’t really believe it until I experienced it myself. I suppose you can argue that yea I was just extremely attracted to her or infatuated or whatever but it was so much more than that. I knew from the moment I laid eyes on her that this was the woman I wanted to spend the rest of my life with.

man there are some really depressing answers in this question…

Coloma's avatar

It can happen of course, but usually it is lust not love and the volatile hormonal cocktail that explodes into the ” meet, mate, procreate” reaction. lol

livelaughlove21's avatar

Absolutely not. The mere thought that you could love someone based on their appearance is ridiculous. The reasons people think it’s real is:

1) They’ve supposedly “experienced” it with someone they eventually had a relationship with and loved. Unfortunately, this is evidence of nothing but chance. You didn’t love them then, but you fell in love later and, while it sounds nice to say you loved them from the beginning, it’s simply not true.

2) They have no idea what love is. My sister-in-law “loves” some new guy every couple of weeks, before they get in her pants and bail. She’s 17, but some people stay this way. Some equate chemistry, lust, or affection for love. These words are not synonymous. My guess is that these people have never actually been in love, so they use that word in the place of what it actually is.

3) They don’t claim to have experienced it, but really hope it’s real. Hopeless romantics in denial.

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

No, I don’t believe in love at first sight. You can maybe feel something about that person, like lust or an intense connection or something that draws you to them but not love.

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

You can have lust and/or affection for someone you’ve just met, but real true love takes some time and some exploration. But oh wow, real love is so so amazing.

jonsblond's avatar

For those saying it is lust, you are wrong. My husband was sitting in a dark room on the floor playing a video game when our eyes met. I looked at his eyes and nothing else. If you haven’t had this feeling then you just won’t understand I guess. I think @burntbonez and @wildpotato did a good job of explaining what it feels like. It may not be love, but it is something more than lust. Love at first sight is just a way of explaining something that is very hard to describe.

gailcalled's avatar

I love people who use “twee.”

ucme's avatar

@gailcalled Yeah, I recall you liking that word, especially when it’s used in perfect context.
How the fuck can answers to the contrary be deemed as depressing? That’s a new one, even for this place. My wife & I have had a fantastic, loving relationship from the get go, some 20yrs now & still counting.
I worship the ground she walks on, so long as it’s not in the kitchen, we have 2 wonderful kids & everything is rosy in the ucme household.
I’m never going to claim thunder clapped when we first set eyes on each other, because it didn’t, was a fine sunny day as I recall. Sure she was gorgeous, still is, but our love developed over those early weeks & months, until one day it hit me like a hammer…“she’s the fucking one for me” & we’ve never looked back since.
Love at first sight though, not in my backyard.

El_Cadejo's avatar

@ucme Just because you didn’t experience it, and im not implying you don’t have a loving relationship, doesn’t mean it’s not possible for others.

ucme's avatar

@uberbatman Clearly not, but to state opinions that differ from your own are depressing is a ridiculous argument.

El_Cadejo's avatar

I find it depressing so many people think its not possible at all. I dont see whats ridiculous about that.

ucme's avatar

It’s ridiculous because, why feel down about it? That’s purely a personal feeling, down to the individual concerned, who after all, is perfectly happy with their beliefs on the subject.

Pachy's avatar

Right on, @ucme!

hearkat's avatar

The one time I experienced an instant romantic connection with someone, it wasn’t a head-over-heels lust; rather, it was a feeling that I had known him for my whole lifetime within the millisecond that our eyes first met. Unfortunately, the context was a support group for kids whose parents were divorcing… so being the first relationship either of us had soon after our marriages ended, it was destined to fail. Under different circumstances, I feel that he and I were very compatible and might have had a strong relationship.
—excerpted from my reply to this question.

wundayatta's avatar

Used to was that I didn’t believe in love at first sight. I thought you had to know someone for a long time to even begin to know them.

But things have changed for me since I got sick. Now I know I can know things about people that I have never seen before. I’ve learned that by hearing so many stories just like mine in people who share my disorder. I just know who they are. And because they share my disorder, I know they are like me in so many ways. I know their pain is my pain. Their flirtation with death is mine. Their need for love is mine. It’s like loving people before you even meet them. The meeting is just a formality. But it’s real. I do know people based on very little information and I can tell if they are a person I could love.

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