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Shippy's avatar

When you turned 50 what changed for you?

Asked by Shippy (9857 points ) January 7th, 2013

I turned 50 recently and I am not sure if it is my depression or age, but I am certainly tired more now. But then I don’t sleep much so perhaps that is why. I have strange aches and pains in my legs mostly, and want someone to pull them all the time. I mean physically not as in a joke.

I also get more irritated with people, although that too could be depression. What sorts of changes did you notice?

I also realize with a start every now and then, that from heron in I am just going to old, and older. Its a lousy thought. I am kind of battling with it. Life is short. (I have listed the negative things, there are of course positives, and if you wish to expand on those too).

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77 Answers

zenvelo's avatar

50 wasn’t it, 55 was. Women in their 40s still want to date men that are 50.

marinelife's avatar

I loved turning 50. 60, now, is a whole other thing.

Coloma's avatar

40 kicked my ass psychologically, 50 was uneventful and benign,but….now…between like 51 and 53 I am experiencing less stamina, and more quirky aches and pains.
The most recent is a bout of “Trigger finger” which is actually Trigger Thumb for me. lol
The overuse of my hands and I have been wearing a stupid splint to bed at night to keep my thumb immobilized so it doesn’t freeze up and refuse to bend without agonizing popping and clicking.
Being left handed and it being my left thumb really sucks.

I can barely hold a pen to sign my name and brushing my teeth with my right hand is like being 2 years old again, foam and slop and spastic action. Yeah, it’s a blast. haha

Shippy's avatar

@Coloma Oh no Coloma, ugh! I felt like a kid in my 40’s

Shippy's avatar

@zenvelo I don’t date men in their 50’s they are too old for me!

Coloma's avatar

@Shippy Oh yeah, me too, I said 40 kicked my ass “psychologically” as in a mid-life crisis, gotta get a divorce, major wake up call way. Physically I was in the best shape of my life though. :-) Psychologically and spiritually my 40’s were the single most growth producing decade of my life.

Shippy's avatar

^^oh well… sigh. Will you pull my legs? loll

wundayatta's avatar

Of course, for me, turning fifty meant going crazy, which totally changed my life.

Physically, I’ve been slowing down, and have many aches and pains. However, I recently lost ten pounds, and it seems to make a big difference. I imagine if I could lose 20 more, I might feel like I was 40! If only they would allow back flips, again!

Shippy's avatar

Sounds great @wundayatta I think I am OK weight wise so its not that. I have no idea. Old age sucks.

livelaughlove21's avatar

Ask me again in 27 years. :)

Shippy's avatar

^^Ah! Youth is wasted on the young!!

Shippy's avatar

Would somebody please pull my dam legs loll

Sunny2's avatar

I started dance lessons (jazz, tap and ballet.) I had more freedom because my kids were grown and on their own. I felt my own personality being more free to exist than it did when I was mostly a wife and mother. It was great!

flutherother's avatar

I found 30 more of a psychological barrier than 50.

@Shippy Oh very well then, lift your leg up here.

Pachy's avatar

I loved my 50s. I finally felt I was truly a grown-up, but still young enough to act like a kid when I wanted to.

Shippy's avatar

^^Ooh! a bit of leg up Aye Aye loll

Shippy's avatar

just practicing me Scottish

diavolobella's avatar

Well, ask me again when I actually hit 50 in June, but I’m more tired (I need more sleep or maybe I just enjoy sleeping more) and I am definitely crankier. I don’t know if that’s because I’m older, tired or if I just have less patience to suffer fools, having suffered them for so many years. LOL I also appreciate peace and quiet a lot more than I did when I was younger and I am a h*ll of a lot less inclined to sacrifice comfort for fashion in clothing. I’m sure a lot of younger people think that means older people are boring, but I think it means we are smart. After all, what’s not to love about peace and quiet?

[pulls @Shippy by the leg]

Coloma's avatar

@diavolobella Here, here, I concur. Yes, I am usually a very cheerful, optimistic type, but I too, do not suffer fools gladly anymore.
Go away, leave me in peace.
I think we should carry around a spray bottle of water the “fools be gone ” mister.
Take THAT foolish, foolhardy, fool! haha

I have this intense desire to spray people through their car windows, espcially the kids that play their damn bass so loud it freaking levitates you. haha
@Shippy How ‘bout I lash your body to the fence and hitch up the mule team to stretch your legs out a little ” Dove & Hillary” will do a fine job. lol

Pachy's avatar

@diavolobella, sorry, I really didn’t answer your question. I went through the same phase in my mid-to-late ‘40s, and into my 50s. I chalked it up to getting older, not exercising enough. eating badly, not liking my job and having a marriage that was foundering. Convinced I had some sort of awful disease, I saw several doctors and each time was told that there was nothing organically wrong with me… I just needed to take better care of myself. I started doing that and got a divorce. Things got better.

Shippy's avatar

haha Coloma

diavolobella's avatar

@Coloma Oh yeahhh, for sure. I’m still a pretty cheerful, silly person, but the fuse once lit burns so much faster than it used to. From zero to axe murderer in 10.5 seconds.

@Pachyderm_In_The_Room Divorce was an EXCELLENT start! Getting this new job was another. Exercise and the rest are a work in progress. I need to relax more too.

Coloma's avatar

Yes, nothing like a long overdue divorce to launch the born again boat about of it’s dark harbor. haha

Sail away, sail away, sail away….

diavolobella's avatar

@Coloma Yep, I got that in 2003 and I’m still thankful every day that I did. Found a nice young (30 at the time) guy and have been with him a decade now. It was a good call.

@Shippy Back to the original question, I think I’ve definitely become more fiscally responsible too. Perhaps that’s due to watching other people make disastrous financial decisions with long-term repercussions. It could also be because material things aren’t as important to me as the thought of being able to RETIRE is.

Coloma's avatar

@diavolobella Yep, 2003 for me too, have had a few lovers, but really, really LOVE being single and living alone. I’m more of a “been there, done that” mindset.
Men and dogs are so much work. haha

Shippy's avatar

^^I’ve been officially single for some 16 years. I loved it, it was by choice. A few flings here and there. I really didn’t need the baggage and needs of another person, I was already pretty burned out with other things. I LOVED being on my own. Very independent. Very happy. However, I fell in love, by accident about two years ago, and I am happy to say I am enjoying that too! I was a hard nut to crack, but he was a clever sneaky little shit! loll I say little as he is some 17 years my junior. Yes disgusting, I shall grow old disgracefully and he will pull my legs.

gondwanalon's avatar

On the day before I turned 50 I was in the E.R. with a heart arrhythmia problem that I just hit me that afternoon. My physical strength and fitness level has been in free-fall ever since.

Good health to you!

Coloma's avatar

@Shippy Yes, never say never, it’s always best when love just sneaks upon you. I still don’t want to share my space with anyone on a live in basis. My joke, 20 acres, 2 houses and picnic table in the middle.

@gondwanalon Yes, we just never know, hope you’re getting stronger again!
Lately I have been thinking that maybe I should quit sleeping naked, just in case I die in my sleep. lol

Shippy's avatar

^^Except when we open the ranch of course.

Coloma's avatar

^^^ Right….no sneaking into the cat house on little cat feet, those bulls will charge right through the front door to get to the little heifers. lol

bkcunningham's avatar

@Shippy, are you going through the change?

bkcunningham's avatar

That is probably what has zapped your energy. I wish someone had told me about menopause. I always say it is what my mother meant when she, “One of these days, young lady,” to me when I was a teenager. She just couldn’t remember what it was that was going to happen to me, “one of these days.”

Oh, the memory is the next thing to go after the energy. The reason women over 50 shouldn’t have children is because we will set them down and forget where we put them.

Coloma's avatar

@bkcunningham Haha….I already lose my car and once drove away with my wallet on the hood. Thank god it wasn’t a baby.

bkcunningham's avatar

Yeah, a wallet is bad, @Coloma, but a baby would definitely be worse. lol
My lethargy has waned recently and my energy level is picking up. I have made a real concerted effort to be more active though.

Shippy's avatar

@bkcunningham I am really not sure, my whatasits have been regular until recently. A bit off, then this month twice in one month? What do you think? I asked the gynae during a visit for something else and he said no hormones. But how does he know?

bkcunningham's avatar

It hit me fast and hard, @Shippy. I was still taking birth control pills and still having a regular period. When I stopped the pills, my menses stopped completely. It is a long story, but I was in menopause and thought I was dying. Seriously.

Shippy's avatar

@bkcunningham How old were you? I’m not on the pill. I’m confused. I bought some herbal pills I probably should use them. Because yes, I’m not right at all. I feel terrible lately.

bkcunningham's avatar

Let me see. I’m 51 now. I was 48.

Coloma's avatar

@Shippy Yep, I went through a phase of having periods every 2 weeks, gah..then, back to normal for awhile, then skip a month, then every other month then 3–4 months…then….finally, gone! Welcome to the rollercoaster. haha
Mine was a 6 year ride.

Shippy's avatar

@Coloma Oh hell :(

wundayatta's avatar

Combine menopause with mood changes from other sources, and yeah, I bet that’s one hell of a rollercoaster. But we’re here for you, @Shippy. Not in person, of course, but friends for when you need them.

Shippy's avatar

^^@wundayatta OMG! You read my mind, and yes thank you, I apologize for any strange answers or behaviors in advance :(

burntbonez's avatar

Well, I didn’t go through menopause when I turned 50. But I did get my AARP membership. I don’t know why. I’ve never used it. There is one movie theater that gives me senior citizen pricing for movies. For other theaters, I’ve got a few years left before I hit 65.

Fifty was kind of maddening mostly because it became very difficult to not think that half my life is over. My years are running out. On the other hand, I have become more attractive, physically, I think. Women seem happy to talk to me these days. It’s nice. Comfortable. I feel settled. I know how to handle life. And yet…. I am still single. Go figure.

Yeahright's avatar

The feeling and realization I was middle-age hit me literally when I turned 50. I am 52 now. My 40’s were great, a combination of being physically attractive and a sense of self-confidence and inner peace.
@Shippy I feel more tired now, but it’s not surprising considering I don’t exercise much. I don’t date men in their 50’s they are too old for me! Shame on you girl! I don’t like it when guys our age say the same about us. I, on the contrary, couldn’t be with anyone younger, as I feel they can’t see the world from my perspective. You say Old age sucks. I don’t agree with you. I like where I am right now despite all the changes. I wouldn’t want to be younger. I take aging as a natural process of life. Why would I want to be younger—or older for that matter? I am what I am because I was born in 1960 not before, not after. I don’t have children, I am single, and I don’t have a SO in my life, so I guess that could be why I see no reason to want to be younger. I dunno.

@Pachyderm_In_The_Room I finally felt I was truly a grown-up… I agree with you. The feeling of having a lot of experience in life is great for me. I know how to handle most situations in a way I couldn’t in my 30s.
@Coloma major points for lashing @Shippy to the fence and hitch up the mule team to stretch her legs out. What a vision!

@Shippy On a more serious note though …he is some 17 years my junior…I shall grow old disgracefully and he will pull my legs. I think that could be one of the reasons why you are feeling the way you do. IMO the two of you are at two different stages in life and this could be bothering you although you might not think it’s bothering you. You are more aware of your age than you would be with someone your age. I don’t mean this in a bad way, please don’t take offense. I also dated someone 17 yrs my junior. I was 41 he was 24 or so. It went really well for a few years, we had a great time and were in love for a while; but in the back of our minds we knew we couldn’t stay together forever. He had to have experiences with people his age and at the end of the day I too preferred to be with people my age. I never met his parents. We both felt it was not going to be socially acceptable and we were not prepared to go against the world to defend our relationship. I am sure that if I had a 24 yo child, I wouldn’t want him/her to date a 40 yo.

@burntbonez … half my life is over. My years are running out. I feel that too, but it is a fact that doesn’t make me sad. I don’t want to live forever, nor do I want to stay young forever. I don’t think life is that great anyway, so I accept aging as the natural progression of my life and not as something bad that is happening to me. There is nothing that I want to do now that makes me wish I were younger. I think I’ve done a lot.

burntbonez's avatar

@Yeahright You don’t think life is that great? Wow! For me, life is all there is. Absent some amazing new technology, I’ll have to die one day. I’m just curious. I want to see what will happen. I can’t do that if I am dead. My one comforting thought is that when I am dead, I won’t know it.

filmfann's avatar

What changed when I turned 50? You mean like my dick stopped working?

diavolobella's avatar

Ah, all you fellow olds (and leg pullers), I see you are still up discussing this. One thing I’ve noticed as I prepare to turn 50 is that I stay up too late and then am cranky in the morning. It is 10:07 my time and pretty soon I shall hit the Zzquil, otherwise woe to those who cross my path in the morning.

Coloma's avatar

I am totally at peace with accepting my death, mortality. I too have done a lot, and while I love being alive and have a deep sense of appreciation for this mysterious world, I am also totally at peace with dying. No fear, other than hopefully it won’t be terrifying or completely agonizing
.As long as there is morphine it’s all good. lol

Adagio's avatar

@Coloma ”… it being my left thumb really sucks.” Surely someone else also finds this funny?? Not your painful thumb of course, just the wording.

And as for turning 50, rather less exciting than turning 40.

woodcutter's avatar

It is the natural process of dying. No shit, thats what a doctor told me, more or less, and she was right. Understand you are going to do things a bit more slower but it’s ok. You will notice how stupid the younger people really are, struggling with themselves running around like like frantic ants and how cool it is not to be like that. It seems easier to let shit go for awhile and not sweating the small stuff. Welcome to the age of “fuck- it”

diavolobella's avatar

@woodcutter You ought to trademark “welcome to the age of fuck-it”. It sounds like the tag line of a really messed up Viagra commercial in an alternate universe. LOL

AstroChuck's avatar

Nothing, aside from getting mailings from AARP.

Coloma's avatar

@Adagio Haha…yes, good catch on the unintended pun. I am experiecing a total left side breakdown, left shoulder, left thumb, left ankle, except for my brain. Classic, body going to hell, brain as sharp as ever. Oh my wild and reckless youth. What a curse. lol

Coloma's avatar

Hahaha..a friend just gave me a giant coffee cup that says A giant cup of who the fuck cares! perfect!

woodcutter's avatar

@diavolobella LOL ya that Viagra commercial with the dude and his horses could have been a disaster.

trailsillustrated's avatar

I get aches and pains. I have weird sicknesses that go away. Hair on my face ( I pluck it ). A thicker middle. The weirdest thing, and I know it sounds ridiculous, is that all my life I banked on my looks. I can’t do that anymore. Is it good or bad? I don’t know. Now I have to operate as a normal person. It’s not too bad. Also I have no sex drive anymore whatsoever.

Shippy's avatar

@Yeahright I am glad you called me girl loll I don’t date men in their 50’s they are too old for me! Shame on you girl! It was actually a joke, I actually prefer men my own age. A lot of men my age though look like total losers, overweight, sickly. I’m also not being mean here either. Some are not of course. They also have great things like similar experiences, a consolidated life that type of thing. For some reason I always attract men in their 30’s. I am never interested. My guy, I have known for 10 years. It just happened. I do worry about when I am older yes. My ex husband who died recently, always dated (and married) women the same age as my son, one was 17 when he met her. He had long happy relationships with them. I am not condoning that its just a fact. The one he married last, since he died, was 20 years his junior.

I would prefer my son dated older women, because there is something more stable about it all. But as long as he is happy is the main thing, she might be 21 but be very mature and stable. Nothing lasts forever not even relationships, people leave, or die or get sick even young people die too. I said that to @zenvelo because of course people want to date men in their 50’s and older. We shouldn’t be so boxed in by what is expected of us. There are pitfalls in everything. Although I agree it is not the ideal.

zensky's avatar

@wundayatta The 10 pounds you lost? Found ‘em. PM me if you want them back.

Shippy's avatar

@trailsillustrated I can so relate, I also have weird sicknesses that vanish. Plus a lot of my life was based on my looks too. But also personality. I am sadder at losing my personality, which is all over the place right now.

Coloma's avatar

I haven’t really experienced any grief over my looks and body fading. While I enjoyed a good run, was always the cute, feisty, girl next door type, had a darling little figure for years, but was not a drop dead beauty. I had a friend who lost her mind, she was very beautiful and her fragile ego was in turmoil over getting older. She went for the botox and mini-face lift and boob job and I found it all quite sad.

She really had no inner confidence in who she was aside from her model like external looks. I have always wanted to be admired for my brain, humor, tenacity, sharp wit, much more so than my tits & ass, although I was blessed with an amazing ass for years. haha
I have always hated the idea of “marketing” myself, be it in the dating realm or work world.
I remember meeting up with a guy I met on a dating site about 5 years ago and I felt like he was evaluating me like a horse at auction. Seriously, he said things like ” you look really healthy”....WTF!

I’m surprised he didn’t pry my jaw open to look at my teeth and toss a halter around my head to trot me out and watch my gait for signs of lameness. lol

burntbonez's avatar

@Coloma I think he was the one who was exhibiting signs of lameness.

But you knew that.

Coloma's avatar

@burntbonez Yes, man…I hate dating, what a joke. haha

Shippy's avatar

@Coloma Here! here! your beauty for example is 1000 times more appealing than a lot of my friends who have been siliconed and smoothed and plucked and tucked and spend their lives in the gym.

Coloma's avatar

@Shippy Why thank you fellow madam! :-)

zensky's avatar

@Shippy You said a lot of my friends who have been siliconed and smoothed and plucked and tucked and spend their lives in the gym

Pics or it never happened.

wundayatta's avatar

@zensky Dude! You’re the best. Best package that up—don’t worry about making it break proof—just put it in a sheet of newspaper and call it a day. Then send it by sea freight via Afghanistan and Somalia. Thanks, man. I owe you a solid!

bkcunningham's avatar

Gaining weight and losing my mind hasn’t taken away my sexy or the fact that I’m fun to be around.

Coloma's avatar

@bkcunningham Yep, same here! Gotta keep laughing. :-)

wundayatta's avatar

@bkcunningham In what way have you been losing your mind?

Adagio's avatar

@trailsillustrated Facial hair, it feels like such a betrayal, especially because I cannot use my arms and hands and have to ask someone else to pluck it for me, I hate that!

bkcunningham's avatar

@wundayatta, I always prided myself on having an outstanding memory. My memory falters now and I have to strain my brain to remember things. Not everything and not everyday. But enough that it is really frustrating.

I’ve always been organized to a fault. Nowadays it seems I can’t get out of my own way and it takes me days to finish something that use to take me a couple of hours. I can’t seem to concentrate like I use to be able to.

Another thing is my mood. I use to be very happy-go-lucky and I had a peacefulness that surrounded me in stressful times.

Now it seems-again, not everyday-my mood changes with the shadows. One minute I am weepy and the next I’m ready to argue over nothing. I’ve never been one to argue. My poor husband.

It seems like it is starting to smooth out though. Thankfully.

wundayatta's avatar

@bkcunningham Thank you for sharing that. It helps me understand some of the things you’ve been doing. I hope these symptoms go away soon.

bkcunningham's avatar

Screw you, @wundayatta. Love, BK

wundayatta's avatar

Sorry, @bkcunningham. I’m taken. But I appreciate the sentiment. Love you, too.

bkcunningham's avatar

That was fun and funny, @wundayatta

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