Have you ever been told that you make others feel stupid?
I was at the bar tonight with a friend and he was telling me that my biggest problem was that I make other people feel stupid. He said it was both when I just talk to someone(like I need to prove I’m smarter) and more so when it turns to debate. I really don’t know how to take this…
I think he may be right in some sense that I do, but I don’t know that it’s something I do wrong.
I don’t even know how to say this part without sounding too egocentric which is why I think I have a hard time talking about it, but honestly I feel like I’m smarter than a good portion of the people I talk to on a daily basis. It probably doesn’t help being told your whole life just how smart you are.
When I have a conversation with you, I want to have a legitimate conversation. I have no need for small talk or any of that mindless chat. As such a lot of my conversations tend to have more substance than the “did ya see the game?” conversations.I talk more about ideas rather than events or people. I also have a tendency to use bigger words than most people I talk to or know more about the given topic. Does that make people feel intimidated?
I’m very prone to getting into debates about various things. I absolutely love it because I feel like it makes both people understand whatever topic it was even more. Not to say I’m annoying with it to the point that I’m Mary Mary Quite Contrary, but with my friends, we tend to debate a lot. (this site over the years has only made me more prone to debating various topics.)
If we’re having a conversation with each other and you say something that is incorrect, I’m going to correct it. I’m sorry, I just can’t help it.I think a lot of it stems from being an INTj
I suppose I could just let things go, but I feel like I’d also have the problem of just not caring about the conversation at all after that point.
I actually think my personality type has a lot to do with all this. I tend to be an extremely logical person when it comes to things but I’m also really blunt. I’m not going to agree and say that “x” was a great idea if I can see a million holes in it. I see no purpose in, as the link said, sugar coating things.
And if this is all my personality type, is that really something I should be working to change? I mean I’ve always been of the opinion my whole life of this is me, take it or leave it. Is this something I should change to appease others?
This question is in the General Section. Responses must be helpful and on-topic.