[NSFW] Strangest/most interesting "bedroom" tale about you or someone you know?

I’m not looking for a “friend of a friend” story or something crazy you heard of on a movie or the internet, I want a story involving you or a friend.

I will share a story about a friend of mine:

I will use ficticious names to make the story easier to follow.

For John’s birthday, Tammy (his girlfriend) decided to let him have a threesome. John and Tammy with another female (Jessica). Well when it came (no pun intended) time to drop his load, he wanted to do this inside of Jessica, when Tammy told him he couldn’t do that he got mad. So he pulled out of Jessica and told Tammy he would just blow his load in her (his girlfriend’s) face.

So John stood up and Tammy got on her knees (eyes closed) waiting to be facialized. Right before he blew his load, he put his thumb on Tammy’s eyelid and pulled it open and exploded right into her eye (on purpose obviously, I must applaud the aim). She ended up having to go to the hospital.

To make one final akward blow (pun definitely intended) to this story, Tammy’s grandmother (not knowing how the injury occurred) paid the hospital bill.