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zensky's avatar

If Fluther had been founded, and run by completely greedy and insensitive bastards - what would've been some evolutionary changes to the site?

Asked by zensky (13291 points ) January 21st, 2013

Inspired by Marky Mark (Zuckerberg’s) FB google-type big brother internal search engine. About to mess-up even more lives and carreers – for the love and sake of cash.

How would they have fucked up the almost-perfect Fluther we know?

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35 Answers

burntbonez's avatar

It would be subscription based.

There would be lurve competitions for prizes. People could buy more eyes for their answers. They would have to provide real names. You’d have to link your name to Facebook or something. They’d sell advertising which would be much more intrusive. There would be all kinds of stupid gewgaws to buy. They’d recruit from television shows in order to recruit for people who have cheated on their dogs (or something) to appear on “a reality show that will appear on a “major” network.” That sort of thing. You only have to go to a few other sites to see what I mean.

ucme's avatar

Monthly subscription, failure to make prompt payments results in destruction of knee-caps using spatulas & toffee hammers.

dxs's avatar

You would be able to purchase lurve at an online store.

bookish1's avatar

We’d all be playing Flutherville, like Farmville but underwater. And yes, as @dxs said, you could purchase lurve points™ from an online store. Credit card, linked bank account, or your firstborn.

@burntbonez : ”people who have cheated on their dogs (or something)” LMFAO! I lurve ya ;)

rebbel's avatar

We’d be harassed on a daily basis by Flutherites with invitations to FlutherFarm, FlutherCrimeSceneInvestigation, and FluPokerther.
Nevermind…..

I wouldn’t Like it.

augustlan's avatar

One benefit for me: I’d be paid more! Of course, I wouldn’t want to work here under those circumstances, so…

zensky's avatar

Flutherville points, yay!

AmWiser's avatar

And besides being able to purchase lurve like @dxs said, there would probably be a feed to show exactly who was lurving who.

Sunny2's avatar

It wouldn’t have people like us on it. Once we recognized the set-up, we’d be ELSEWHERE!

zensky's avatar

That’s a good idea for a name. Elsewhere.org

Edit: Damn, someone took it already. Don’t click on ^.

Bellatrix's avatar

Advertising and more advertising. Taking over the whole page at times.

Our names and email addresses would have been sold off to any buyer for any price and we would be spammed to death by people selling frizzers, robots, jellyfish porn, cakes, pancakes, yarn!

zensky's avatar

Now yarn I’d buy in a New York minute.

SABOTEUR's avatar

(See Answerbag.)

Unbroken's avatar

We’d get astrologied to death and get updates of inane sandwich eating variety.

There you be more categories, like pop artists and celebrAties and weight watching groups.

And there would be people trying to game the lurve system.

bookish1's avatar

I love that first sentence of yours, @rosehips. So funny. :D

@zensky, so what is objectionable about the new FB search engine? I haven’t heard anything about it.

filmfann's avatar

You can ask a question, but it’s gonna cost you to get the answers…

woodcutter's avatar

Probably be treated to more than a few viruses for our pleasure.

jaytkay's avatar

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Unbroken's avatar

@bookish1 thanks.

@jaytkay omg way too true. I’m already headed for the escape hatch.

bob_'s avatar

Trading lurve for hookers and cocaine would require a cash copayment.

jaytkay's avatar

Trading lurve for hookers and cocaine would require a cash copayment.

There’s no cash co-payment now? WTF am I sitting on this 20K for?

Hellooooo, ladieeees!!

zensky's avatar

@filmfann has the best answer! Lurved ya (but it’ll cost you to see the lurve, buddy!)

@bookish1 Use FB search to find the answer. And quick: delete any silly photos or strange statusii… before you get fired/divorced/killed thanks to MM and the fucked up bunch.

Edit: Rosehips – good one – use of astrology as a verb gets you an additional three lur {redacted}

bookish1's avatar

@zensky : Well, part of why I don’t understand the problem is that I have not been on Facebook for years. Why are you so sure that this will ruin career prospects and marriages? Does it allow for more access to supposedly ‘private’ posts?

zensky's avatar

@bookish1 let me get that article for you…

Here’s MM

And your NOT being on FB makes me lurve ya a little more.

bookish1's avatar

@zensky : Thank you, sir.

Kardamom's avatar

You would get little pop ups on the side of your screen that say, ”@So and So just PM’d @Whozit and this is what was said…”

Symbeline's avatar

@bob_ Good thing that ain’t the case, eh? :D

To answer the question, it would be like AnswerBag is now, except you’d have to pay to access all the features. Plus it would work like the PlayStation Store, which means nothing would fucking work at all. and you wouldn’t get your moolah bax

They’d be all like, you know what man, just fuck you.

Symbeline's avatar

and that would suck

CWOTUS's avatar

Lurve would be redeemable at the gift shop. All entries and exits would be through the gift shop.

Unbroken's avatar

@zensky that immediately gets removed because I somehow managed to spell sandwhich incorrectly :/

rojo's avatar

What do you mean if?? (Or it depends upon what your definition of the word “If” is).

Response moderated (Personal Attack)
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CWOTUS's avatar

The “writing standards” would be based upon the standards of the Indians manning the Moderation Desk Bureau.

flutherother's avatar

It would be worth £25 billion, it would have bought up Twitter and it would be crap.

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