WTF? Did you know that Thousand Islands dressing isn't actually made of a thousand islands?

Soy… milk (NSFW link)

Baby food

Jumbo Shrimp (it is an oxymoron) should be Jumbo Prawns.

Dietetic, salt-free, organic, low and non-fat, healthy, pure, All-New, Improved… all these labels are misleading to one degree or another.

@ETpro: The great metaphor debunker. What would we ever do without you?

Trojan horse is neither a horse, nor from Troy. It’s a software program designed to get inside your computer and do malicious things.

“Natural” anything. @ETpro It was first made in the Thousand Island region of NY.

Champagne. Has to be from Champagne region of France to actually be called champagne. But I’m sure all you readers already knew that.

I know I’m a hick, but when I first heard of thousand island about 45 years ago was when my brother in law made it mixing ketchup, mayo and a little pickle relish.

WTF? Does that mean my ranch dressing doesn’t actually come from ranches, either? I’m so confused!

Russian dressing ain’t made from Russians? Say it ain’t so, @ETpro!

It’s not made from Russians, @janbb. It’s made in Russia! Everyone knows that! ;-)

Fox News

Chocolate ice cream, when it’s actually only cocoa ice cream. And it’s not the same!!!

Heinz 57.

Nose drops. I have used them for years but I have never once seen a nose come out of that bottle.

@elbanditoroso Gee – my ear drops always work!

@janbb Hear! Hear!

For those who want background on 1000 Island Dressing, it refers to the location (similar to champagne)
According to The Oxford Companion of Food and Drink, the name presumably comes from the Thousand Islands between the United States and Canada in the St. Lawrence River. In the Thousand Islands area, one common version of the dressing’s origins says that a fishing guide’s wife, Sophia LaLonde, made the condiment as part of her husband George’s shore dinner. Often in this version, actress May Irwin requested the recipe after enjoying it. Irwin in turn gave it to another Thousand Islands summer resident, George Boldt, who was building Boldt Castle in the area. Boldt, as proprietor of the Waldorf-Astoria Hotel, instructed the hotel’s maître d’hôtel, Oscar Tschirky, to put the dressing on the menu. A 1959 National Geographic article states, “Thousand Island Dressing was reportedly developed by Boldt’s chef.~wiki

Tomorrow’s lesson will be: Where did the term Sperm Whale or Semen come from?

The Tiddy Bear
ASpray

Kraft American Cheese isn’t made of cheese.

ha ha

Girl Scout cookies aren’t made from Girl Scouts.

@YARNLADY It isn’t made of Americans either.

God save us if it’s made out of Krafts!

Nacho Cheese

Dat’s not yours, and it ain’t real cheese : P

@fremen_warrior Points for linking to any Lewis Black video, and this one’s right on target. Soy milk? Where’s the soy tits?

@Seek_Kolinahr Aw! Now that’s what I call a darling baby photo. And point taken. Calling baby food food at all stretches credulity.

@Tropical_Willie Ha! Indeed. Googling “Jumbo Shrimp” yields this Wikipedia page on Oxymorons as the second result, right after the basic definition of shrimp.

@Pachyderm_In_The_Room Argh!!! One more chapter for my epic autobiographical work, Things I Hate: And the Order in which I Hate Them.

@wundayatta Indeed. Gah! I would think even the real Trojans would have known that wooden thing wasn’t a horse. “Don’t look a gift horse in the mouth… Unless the Greeks give it to you.” :Beware of Greeks bearing gifts.” The Trojans must not have even had access to Wikipedia.

@Adirondackwannabe Thanks for telling me that. Here I always thought it was named for all the tiny islands of solid material swimming in what looks like regurgitated creamed tomato sauce. But there isn’t even ONE island in there.

@Pachyderm_In_The_Room Champagne is the exception that proves the rule. It’s the one Marketing Term that actually carries a definitive meaning.

@Judi I’ve done that in a pinch, and it yields a pretty passable approximation of the real stuff.

@“WillWorkForChocolate”:\http://www.fluther.com/155004/wtf-did-you-know-that-thousand-islands-dressing-isnt-actually-made/#quip2642781 Great. You’re one to those marketing types. Let’s smoke ‘em. Oh wait, that would mean rolling them up in some rolling paper, and inhaling the bastards. Scratch that.

@“janbb”: and @wundayatta Russian dressing had me fooled. Here it was nice and blood-and-flesh in color.

@mazingerz88 Ant the Marketing Mumbo Jumbo winner for 2012 is… Faux “News”!

@tups Good one. And as a dedicated chocoholic, I feel so cheated.

@zensky Absolutely. Who is Heinz and what part of him/her is the 57th?

@“elbanditoroso“http://www.fluther.com/155004/wtf-did-you-know-that-thousand-islands-dressing-isnt-actually-made/#quip2642902 The very least you would expect is for a new nose to drop out of the squeeze bottle now and then.

@janbb You drop those and get new ears? Maybe so, as penguin ear aren’t all that obvious, but do real penguin ears drop out of those ear drop bottles?

@elbanditoroso “Hear! Hear!” That actually happening will depend on @janbb getting those new ears.

@blueiiznh So we have George Boldt and the Waldorf-Astoria to thank for Thousand Island Dressing, even there isn’t one single island in the bottle.

And yes, I am coming to depend on those comfortable Tiddy Bears. I don’t have much tiddy to speak of, but with tidy bear nearby, they are growing on me.

How do those Aspray pocket sprays work to eliminate all those hot, sexy orders, replacing them with the delights of chemical waste dumps?

@YARNLADY No cheese, no Americans and no Bob Kraft. What a disappointment.

@tedibear Girls scout cookies with no Girl Scouts inside I can live with. The kids are too young to eat anyway. No Americans in there? What’s left.

@ETpro I know my son would never touch the stuff. I happen to like Gerber’s Mango, though. Yum.

@ETpro I hear you!

Gerber knives. WTF – commando knives for babies?