Social Question

Eggie's avatar

(NSFW) How would you feel about this?

Asked by Eggie (5147 points ) January 23rd, 2013

This question is for the girls of fluther. What if you saw a guy that you like and you told your friend that you are interested in him, and your friend tells you that she has been with him already and that he is not good in bed, would you still try to have a relationship with him?

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40 Answers

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

Hmm…I’d ask her to elaborate on what she thought was not good in bed. If what she says matched what I find yucky in bed, I’d still give him a shot. Who the hell knows, if I haven’t slept with her, maybe she’s bad in bed. Besides, I’m a huge believer in working through things with people, sexually or otherwise if I find them intellectually stimulating.

janbb's avatar

Good in bed depends on both people. I wouldn’t let that deter me.

Eggie's avatar

Wouldnt the fact that he has been with your friend bother you Simone, and what if the problem is erection or premature ejaculation- based on information your friend has given you

KNOWITALL's avatar

Of course, sometimes people just don’t have chemistry.

A good friend of mine is a very sexual person and very good at it but he and his wife live a mostly celibate marriage for many reasons. Sometimes the emotions and connections work for some people and not others.

Coloma's avatar

Hooking up with friends exes is usually not a good idea in general, however…your friends experience is not your experience so their little input is moot. That is like saying that because you do not like chocolate ice cream nobody else would either. You have to actually TRY something to make your own determinations. It is also possible that said friend is secretly still not over the guy and is trying to deter you from making any moves.
If you think you might really have something in common with this person you should explore the situation, but only if you are willing to risk a potential falling out with your friend.

If you want to go for it you need to be upfront with your friend and just tell them, ” I think I am going to explore my curiosity and I hope it will not be a problem for you.”

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

@Eggie Why would it? With my track record, who am I to be bothered? And with my confidence in my own abilities when it comes to sex, I never even think about other people being with people I am sleeping with? It helps if you are this arrogant. Premature ejaculation…not at all a problem…there area ways to work around that. The getting an erection part…well, I would look into it but because there are often psychosomatic things going on, I’d want to make sure that the person isn’t just giving up and that he is working through whatever’s via therapy or whatever. Basically, like with any issue, I wouldn’t want him to just be all whiny about it or all i’m not going to do much about it. Also, I’d like to state on record that one’s inability to get an erection or premature ejaculation matters are NOT indicators of ‘being bad in bed.’ At all.

Eggie's avatar

@Coloma I am a guy so the question is not about me liking a guy

Coloma's avatar

@Eggie Haha..okay, that’s good to know for the future. :-)

Eggie's avatar

@Coloma Wouldnt the erection thing bother you or the size of his penis?

marinelife's avatar

It depends. I would not be put off by her review of his prowess. I might not want to have a relationship with him if she cared that I did though.

Eggie's avatar

@marinelife so its based on how your friend feels about it then?

Coloma's avatar

@Eggie The vast majority of young guys have premature ejaculation issues, it’s common and something people usually outgrow. Sure, it might be frustrating but there is a lot more to a relationship than sexual performance.

marinelife's avatar

@Eggie Yes, it is. Friendships don’t cross that line.

Eggie's avatar

So girls on a real!!!! A bad review of your crushes penis size or sexual prowess would not bother you at all especially from your best friend? I would think that those things usually matter greatly to girl especially his penis size. You girls would still give him a shot? I mean all the other attributes are good..he is handsome,dresses great, looks in great shape, funny, hardworking and all that. Thats why im asking on fluther to find out what girls really do think about a guys attributes.

marinelife's avatar

@Eggie Yes, because I don’t know her prowess or preferences. Also it depends on each person’s taste what makes great lovemaking. Also, size does not really matter that much.

KNOWITALL's avatar

@Eggie I was just talking to my husband about this last night believe it or not. He wanted to know what I would think was ‘big’....lol

If I loved a man with a very small member, it wouldn’t prevent him from being a good lover, he may actually overcompensate. And some men with big members don’t know how to finesse them anyway, like battering rams, not always fun.

Coloma's avatar

@Eggie One mans trash is another mans treasure. You have to write your own review.

Eggie's avatar

@marinelife So all that talk I am used to hearing about a guys size and girls going crazy off of a big penis is just B.S? Girls honestly…if you are with a guy that has a small penis or doesnt have sex good would you want to have an affair with another guy or would you dump him after your first bad experience? I have listened to other girls talk and those things seem to matter greatly to them. Please be completely honest.

janbb's avatar

@Eggie The proper size is relative – girls have sizes too. And one bad experience wouldn’t put me off unless the guy was rough and unwilling to listen. That would be a dealbreaker.

deni's avatar

It wouldn’t really deter me, what would deter me more is that we’ve now slept with the same person and hopefully that isn’t a sore spot for her. I wouldn’t want to cause a rift with a good friend over something like that. Otherwise, her thinking he’s bad wouldn’t make me not want to give him a shot, especially if I was already into him.

wundayatta's avatar

@Eggie If you have a talented tongue, it will take you a long, long way with most women, if you know what I mean.

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

@Eggie There is so much more to making love than a body part. She wants you to love and cherish her and make her feel comfortable, communication, respect, It’s an entire package.

KNOWITALL's avatar

@Eggie Not to me, there are so many other aspects that make up a good lover or SO.

All I’m saying is that it doesn’t take a baseball bat to get the job done, not at all, and I think a lot of men seem to think that. Too much porn!

Eggie's avatar

I understand that love is more than just sex, but what I have heard from most and I mean most ladies in places where I work and at school and other places…is that their men gave them the sex of their lives or their men know how to pleasure a woman and that they have really bashed guys who cant puck good or has a tiny pecker. I have seen commercials where they say that besides all the talk about “love” if a guy cant pleasure his woman he would get leaved out. You girls really think that a guys penis size doesnt matter? Really or his erection or lasting sexual performance doesnt matter? There is no scarcasm involved in this question I genuinely want to know.
What then keeps you girls from leaving the guy that you are with then?

janbb's avatar

Most women want to be satisfied but it is technique rather than equipment that matter in that.

Eggie's avatar

Ohh ok cool. So a guy shouldnt have to worry about having a big penis or the saying that the guy with the bigger dick wins is just a myth? You wouldnt believe the stuff guys go through. We try to take enlargement drinks, penis exercises and spend a whole lot of money on medications for self improvement and often I ask myself…is this really worth it? Does those things really matter to a woman.

janbb's avatar

By george, I think he’s got it!

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

He’s getting there. Eggie, try making love to her mind first, and her body second. And don’t be selfish.

Eggie's avatar

Thank you all for your answers lurve to everyone!

Judi's avatar

@eggie, guys make a bigger deal out of penis size than girls do.

CWOTUS's avatar

I would love to sit around and chat with @Simone_De_Beauvoir about sex. In bed. Naked. It wouldn’t matter to me which of us was bound, either.

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

@CWOTUS Well, that sentence went downhill fast and by downhill I mean, I’m down. I can be the one bound.

Shippy's avatar

I’d wonder why that was so important to me.

Seek's avatar

@Eggie I’ve never known anyone to demand a man drop trou and be inspected before agreeing to date them.

Just throwing that out there.

marinelife's avatar

@Eggie Smaller penises enlarge more proportionately than larger penises at rest. Also, size really has very little to do with a woman’s pleasure.

I don’t know what women you have been talking to. I have never heard women talking about penis size.

janbb's avatar

And as the old song says, “It ain’t the meat, it’s the motion.”

SadieMartinPaul's avatar

I would no longer trust my female friend, who apparently likes to “kiss and tell.”

Unbroken's avatar

Late to the party but I would agree with @deni and @Coloma, rarely would I ever go where a friend has gone. It’s bad etiquette and insensitive also has the potential to be a twisted love triangle.

As to size, I would say that there are penises I enjoy more then others. Some are really beautiful and perfect for my body. But that doesn’t necessarily mean that the chemistry and the other important components are there. In my case, they have but there was plenty of unsex related reasons not to prolong the relationship.

But even with the caveat that there is a perfect size for me I haven’t measured it and it certainly doesn’t limit my enjoyment of other sizes.

bossob's avatar

@Eggie wrote: ”...You wouldnt believe the stuff guys go through. We try to take enlargement drinks, penis exercises and spend a whole lot of money on medications for self improvement…” If that’s for real, I suggest that you’re in the small minority.

CWOTUS's avatar

Likes the unintentional irony of the term “small minority”, regarding men who desire penis enlargement. When I feel like I need ‘enlargement’ I think I will call it “Richard”.

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