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What's the right thing separated parents should do?
One of my dear friends has been separated from her partner for about 2 years. They have 1 biological child together(7) and my friend has a child from a previous relationship(16).
Their seperartion was amicable! They both raise these children together beautifully, of course still have the od disagreement here and there but always make decisions together regarding the children. They are friendly with one another, they can play with the children together and the children seem to be reaping the benefits of how well these parents get along.
It’s a wonderful thing to see.
My friends ex partner has been seeing a girl for about a year who has 2 children. They have recently moved in together and as this girls children have an absent father in their life my friends ex has become their legal guardian. So now here comes the issue. Now that her ex has 2 children he financially cares for, the amount of child support my friend receives will most likely drop! This is where I’m really confused!! As I’m in a stable relationship with my husband and 3 children. I couldn’t fathom if (touch wood) my husband and I divorced, he would even consider doing this. My way of thinking is, the husband and wife are no longer together but love and support for the children stays the same!! That includes the financial support!! Is it right for these children’s dad to take financial responsability for 2 children knowing he may not be able to afford it? His girlfriend makes decent money and from what my friend has told me, she also doesn’t try to get child support from the absent parent for her children. This dynamic doesn’t seem fair to me. Why is it that when parents remarry or repartner, they look at child maintenance as a way to cut back on money? Shouldn’t both parents be responsible in the way of living within their means to make sure they can upkeep their financial responsibilities for their children?
My friend is having a bit of a hard time understanding this and so am I.
Another thing that’s upsetting my friend is that in the new house her ex is living, they havnt accommodated for her older child who has been cared for by her ex since this child was 6 years old. My friend has a hard time knowing whether or not to bring these issues up with her ex partner for fear she will come out looking like the bitter ex.
I’m not sure how to answer her about that but I do think she needs to talk to someone about it, like a counsellor. So, my question is, what is the right thing Separated parents should do??