Social Question

Self_Consuming_Cannibal's avatar

Would you, could you and/or have you slept with someone you can't stand on a personal level?

Asked by Self_Consuming_Cannibal (4246 points ) January 24th, 2013

Please tell me if you would, if you could or if you have in your answer. Also I’m asking about people you actually know, not celebrities that you don’t.

Observing members: 0 Composing members: 0

28 Answers

syz's avatar

No. I don’t do casual sex, so if I couldn’t stand to be around them, I’d certainly never spend enough time or develop enough of a relationship to sleep with them.

(Ok, maybe if they looked like this)

janbb's avatar

No – couldn’t do it.

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

I haven’t but I can’t say I wouldn’t.

ucme's avatar

I’d find this absolutely impossible, no making love without the loving bit.

picante's avatar

Since I don’t sleep with (almost) all the people I’ve known in the universe and do like, I can’t imagine being able to do so with someone I don’t like.

diavolobella's avatar

Nope. If I detest someone, I’m automatically repulsed by them on all levels and certainly would find the idea of having sex with them vomit inducing in the extreme.

KNOWITALL's avatar

Oh yeah, I have and if I was single, I’m sure I would again.

There are some beautiful irresistable creatures in this world, who may not be like me in any way, or who I may not even like, but to miss out on experiencing them, no way.

Sometimes disliking someone is intriguing all by itself, and adds a darker element that is liberating and pleasant.

tedd's avatar

I have not done so that I can remember.

Were I single and the person was physically attractive enough I probably could.

burntbonez's avatar

Weird thing. Cock is connected to emotions. If I’m not into someone, cock won’t get hard, and I have no motivation to do anything else for them. I’d be a horrible gigolo.

deni's avatar

Absolutely not

KNOWITALL's avatar

Guess it’s me and @Simone_De_Beauvoir then!!

downtide's avatar

I’m pretty sure I couldn’t do that. If there’s someone I can’t stand, I don’t want to be anywhere near them, in bed or out of it.

ucme's avatar

@KNOWITALL Course, I could be tempted ;¬}

deni's avatar

@KNOWITALL But you said “they may not be like me or I may not even like them”....which is one thing. But if this person had specifically said or done something that made you not be able to STAND THEM, so we’re talking this is almost personal now. You could still sleep with them? Ugh. I think if anything I would let him start then maybe bite him in the dick or something in the middle and say that’s what you get for bein a piece of shit, ya piece of shit! Cause obviously if I really can’t stand them they did something to deserve it ;)

Unbroken's avatar

If the reason for contempt is not deeply personal I could under the right circumstances and have.

In fact I recently did, there was this guy that personally I felt like was a bs artist smooth talker and quite caught up with himself while recovering from a break up in a lengthy relationship.

He was hoping to replace the good parts of his relationship by simply inserting someone and wanted to achieve the traditional landmarks that signified adulthood. As I got to know him more I realized he operated on guilt trips, need, flattery and other mind games rather then sincereity.

He wasn’t anything I was looking for didn’t relate to but he was persistent and successfully turned me on he was ok to hang out with in small doses.

He was attractive and a very knowledged lover. At the very end I reached my limit of tolerance there was less and less chemistry and less desire on my part to inflect any enthusiasm or enjoyment in the process. Luckily I ended the whole deal before there was drama or bitterness involved.

Aster's avatar

If it’s a truly “can’t stand” then, no!

KNOWITALL's avatar

@deni I like asshats, what can I say. :)

bookish1's avatar

A hatefuck sounds intriguing, but I have not slept with someone I could not stand. I won’t rule it out, but I’ve been trying to be more selective in general so I don’t foresee it happening anytime soon!

I have, however, slept with some people that I should never have been involved with. Question of judgment and self-respect.

KNOWITALL's avatar

@bookish1 You made me smile! I know some of you have GOT to be lying, a lot of women like jerks and a**holes. Just because someone’s a jerk doesn’t mean they’re not hot and sexy and funny!

bookish1's avatar

@KNOWITALL : I’ve definitely slept with some attractive assholes… But in my situation, if I can’t stand someone, it’s likely to be for their disrespecting my gender or being misogynistic/homophobic… In which case, it would not be safe for me to fool around with them.

KNOWITALL's avatar

@bookish1 I get it, but you get my drift. That aloof, slightly superior/ arrogant, hottie is near irresistible- lol

People just need to listen to more Lennon and Marley, so judgemental, it’s sickening.

sinscriven's avatar

Haven’t done it, but totally would.

It’s a whole different dynamic, raw energy powered by strong emotion, the feeling of exerting power and domination. It’d be an intense experience.

And maybe at the end, with the oxytocin flowing there may be a chance to make peace.

diavolobella's avatar

@KNOWITALL I think by definition if there is something you find appealing about them (i.e., you think they are a hottie or sexy or funny) despite the majority of their traits making them unappealing, then it could be reasoned that they are not someone you “can’t stand.” If you find some aspect of them appealing, then I’d think that means you “can stand them.” If that makes any sense. What about someone who has absolutely no positives and who you truly don’t like anything about?

wundayatta's avatar

Ah, @KNOWITALL, you have helped me understand a friend of mine who is quite an asshole. But he is very charming. He will say anything, so long as it is insulting. For some reason, there are certain women who seem to eat this up. As if they enjoy being put down and feeling inferior. They just feel privileged to be around someone who is so smart.

I’m afraid, I’m not a good wingman. I try to take this guys edge off for them, but of course, that’s the opposite of what they want. They like being insulted, somehow. He’s a really obnoxious person (although he is actually very nice underneath that hard exterior). But he gets laid all the time. He just picks up girls on the street when he wants to.

So he has an appeal. Why he wants to sleep with these women who he doesn’t respect, I don’t know. He always complains about how they aren’t intelligent enough to talk to, afterwards. But what do you expect? What kind of person is going to be picked up by someone who insults them walking along the street during the middle of the day? And then he offers them advice and has the nerve to be mystified as to why they don’t want to take it.

Needless to say, I couldn’t do that. For me, the whole deal is about being loved. If I couldn’t stand the person, it’s hard to imagine feeling loved or wanted. Am I missing something here?

KNOWITALL's avatar

Well I’m really good at compartmentalizing. And my mother taught me to always find ONE good thing about every person (because I’m not much into humans, they’re not nice.)

So I’m trying to think of a complete ahole, okay, I got it. My friend Amanda’s husband. Not ugly and not nice, yeah, no way because he’s a disgusting creature.

@wundayatta Yeah, all those women probably have daddy issues like me, so they seek discipline and approval in all the wrong places. :)

wundayatta's avatar

@KNOWITALL You’re a good girl…. and a bad one! ;-)

cazzie's avatar

During a very difficult time in my life, I found myself sharing intimacies with a few individuals who, upon more tempered reflection, were not ideal. Thankfully, they accepted their quick rejection in good humour, else it may have been more awkward. I have matured passed that now and it has nothing to do with me being single or married. I simply know better now.

I can honestly look back at my love life and sex life with fondness, knowing that those whom I shared time with really meant something to me and there was always a shared respect, regardless of how brief the encounter ended up being. (and I mean ‘look back’ because I know that that part of my life is over now and there is nothing but memories.)

Self_Consuming_Cannibal's avatar

@bookish1 “Hatefuck” I love that verbalization of it! Awesome!

Answer this question

Login

or

Join

to answer.
Your answer will be saved while you login or join.

Have a question? Ask Fluther!

What do you know more about?
or
Knowledge Networking @ Fluther