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redellbabymomma's avatar

What would you do if your friend had a problem that you couldnt help them with when they asked you?

Asked by redellbabymomma (92 points ) January 28th, 2013

my friend has been fighting with her mother a lot and she needs me to talk to her mother but her mother wont even answer to me! i want to tell my friend that i tried to hep but it didnt work, but im scared she will get mad and walk away from the friendship! what do i do?

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6 Answers

WestRiverrat's avatar

Tell her you don’t have a solution, her mother doesn’t want to listen but if she needs a shoulder to cry on yours is available.

Pachy's avatar

If you feel you’ve truly done everything you can to help your friend and told her that, and she still gets angry, she may not be the friend you thought she was. One more thing: getting involved in someone else’s family problems is always risky… especially for friends.

SadieMartinPaul's avatar

How old are you? If you’re a teenager or younger, your friend’s mother won’t be receptive to your advice, counsel, and intervention. This would be a difficult matter for two 40-year-old friends trying to deal with a 70-year-old parent, but it’s untenable for someone who’s as young as I think you might be.

Your friend’s forcing you into an impossible situation; she wants you to fix her relationship with her mother. You can’t do that. “Be there” for your friend, keep her problems confidential, and let her cry on your shoulder. But, please make it clear that you can’t intervene in her family problems.

By the way, you seem to be a remarkable person. You have great compassion for your friend’s troubles and want to help her. Hang on to your kindness; it’ll serve you well throughout life.

redellbabymomma's avatar

you guys are the best @Pachyderm_In_The_Room @WestRiverrat , and @SadieMartinPaul . you guys give very good insight ot my question and have a lot of wisdom! thank you so much!

marinelife's avatar

You have to be honest. If she walks away from the friendship over an issue like this, she is extremely shallow.

That was a lot to ask of you, and you can’t control her mother’s behavior.

burntbonez's avatar

This is not your responsibility. You’re a good friend, I’m sure, but it is really hard to be a go-between. It rarely works. It is far better if the two parties talk directly.

What you should do is try to get them to talk to each other calmly. Maybe you can sit there and tell them when they should try to cool down, but otherwise, you shouldn’t be trying to speak for anyone who can speak for themselves.

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