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Imadethisupwithnoforethought's avatar

Would you divorce your s/o if he/she was arrested for drunken disorderly while soliciting a prostitute?

Asked by Imadethisupwithnoforethought (14353 points ) January 29th, 2013

My friend took a business trip recently, and he got a little drunk in a strange city. When he is drunk he tends to mouth off, and, while walking to his hotel, he mouthed off to a police officer. He admits to saying many things to aggravate the situation.

After he told me of his arrest, and that he had been charged with a bunch of secondary charges in addition to public intoxication by the local police, I asked him if his wife was upset. He said she was, most especially by the arresting officer writing in the statement that he suspected my friend was soliciting prostitutes when he was picked up.

I am trying to wrap my head around how his wife has not left him.

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9 Answers

wundayatta's avatar

Uh. Maybe she loves him.

jordym84's avatar

She hasn’t left him because couples who love each other work out their issues and move on from them. Divorce shouldn’t be a knee-jerk reaction for every mishap, it should be the last resort if all else fails. Is this his first offense of such magnitude?

Imadethisupwithnoforethought's avatar

@jordym84 I don’t have the sense they had a strong relationship to begin with. I am wondering now if some people will allow any behavior in a partner to avoid divorce.

wundayatta's avatar

No. People don’t allow just any behavior. But as @jordym84 says, they do usually try to work through problems in most relationships. And it is really hard for people to give up and divorce. They need to understand what happened first. Sometimes they get therapy. And maybe he had a reasonable explanation for this. Or maybe she really doesn’t want to lose him. When you get married, you vow to stay together no matter what. It can take a lot of “what” for people to get divorced. And like I said, she probably loves him.

Imadethisupwithnoforethought's avatar

@wundayatta you seem very invested in this question. Do you have a special perspective to lend?

Bellatrix's avatar

The police officer ‘suspected’ he was trying to pick up a prostitute? Was he?

Also, he was drunk. Is this normal behaviour for him or a one off? I don’t know how long they have been together but his wife has time and emotions invested in their relationship. She would hopefully discuss it with him and why it happened before pulling the plug. If it isn’t usual behaviour and was driven by him being drunk – perhaps she will let it go. If it is business as usual, perhaps he is on his last warning? Nobody really knows what’s going on in a marriage/relationship other than the people who are in that relationship. Sometimes one or both of them may be clueless too!

livelaughlove21's avatar

No, because I’d never marry someone so belligerent in the first place.

I can’t stand when people make fools out of themselves and blame it on booze, as if that excuses their behavior. It’s embarrassing and I have no tolerance or empathy for such people.

Who knows why she’s staying with him? Idiots need love too, I suppose. Maybe it’s due to an ill-conceived notion that love conquers all. Or perhaps she finds this behavior appealing on some level. Either way, I’m just glad I’m not her.

Shippy's avatar

No I wouldn’t. I’d look at the huge life around us, and weight that up. For one night of something I had found out about. I’d rather my SO visit a prostitute than have an affair, if I could choose. But like @livelaughlove21 said I would not be likely to marry a person who drives drunk in the first place. (Which concerns me more than the prostitute thing).

Judi's avatar

no one said he was driving. It was public intoxication.
He wasn’t arrested for soliciting a prostitute according to the question, the officer just suspected it and put that in the report, probably because the guy was being a belligerent ass hole. I don’t believe everything a police officer says, but I too probably wouldn’t be in a relationship with someone who creates this kind of drama.

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