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jordym84's avatar

Can you help me understand why talking about underwear seems to make some people uncomfortable?

Asked by jordym84 (4732 points ) January 29th, 2013

Today I went to the mall with one of my closest friends and her boyfriend. We went into one of the shops looking for nothing in particular when we saw that they had some really cute underwear on sale. She asked me if I thought it was a good deal and how much is too much to spend on undies. I told her I wasn’t sure how much they usually cost here in the States because I’ve always bought mine overseas, so I couldn’t give her an honest opinion as to whether they were a good deal or not. She got really flustered and said “I don’t want to talk about this anymore” and proceeded to put the items down and walk away from that section of the store. I’ve been really confused all day about her reaction. I don’t think I said anything wrong and her boyfriend wasn’t even within earshot (he was over at the men’s section) which, if he were, would’ve been the only plausible explanation in my mind as to why she could’ve gotten so embarrassed. And what’s even more confusing is that she’s one of my closest friends and we’ve talked about raunchier things in the past and I’ve even helped her fold her laundry, undergarments and all…and we’re both grown women (24).

From your own experience, do you find that talking about underwear makes people uncomfortable? Why do you think that is? Also, can you please help me figure out what, in the scenario I presented, could’ve caused my friend to get so flustered? Maybe I’m just not seeing it?

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13 Answers

Imadethisupwithnoforethought's avatar

Is she from the States or not? Cause the only thing I can think in your description is you made yourself look cooler than her because you are more traveled.

jordym84's avatar

She is from the States, but we’re not competitive with each other and she knows all about my travels, so I don’t see that being the reason for her getting upset and I didn’t say it in a manner that would seem like I was showing off (that’s not my style and she knows it), I was just giving her my honest opinion. But now you got me thinking…

Imadethisupwithnoforethought's avatar

@jordym84 Are you sure she is not just a little feeling small that you are more traveled than her? I would take this as maybe a wake up call of an insecurity of hers.

jordym84's avatar

I honestly don’t know the answer to that question, but I sure hope not.

woodcutter's avatar

Don’t think that outcome had anything to do with panties. Do you think it did, really?

jordym84's avatar

I don’t know…what else could it have been about? We spent the rest of the day/evening together and everything was fine, nothing seemed to be out of the ordinary.

Mariah's avatar

Is money tight for her right now? Did she make other purchases while you were out?

I agree this wasn’t about the undies.

jordym84's avatar

Nope, she’s always been really well off financially, so money was definitely not the issue. She ended up buying the underwear from another store while I was gone to the restrooms and throughout the day made several purchases from other stores at the mall as well as at the other places we went to afterwards.

I honestly thought this was about her being uncomfortable talking about underwear, but now I’m not so sure anymore…and yet I can’t figure out what else it could’ve possibly been about.

livelaughlove21's avatar

Why not just ask her what caused the reaction? All we can do is guess and we don’t have much information to go on here. You’re her friend – just ask!

Bellatrix's avatar

I agree. Just ask her. It seems odd for someone to get upset about buying underwear. Perhaps she read something into your comments that you didn’t mean. Or perhaps she is feeling insecure in some way as has been suggested. Don’t make it a big deal but just ask her.

cookieman's avatar

Perhaps she was attempting to flirt with you and you just weren’t catching on. This frustrated her as she, once again, realized she can’t have you the way she wants to have you.

or maybe I just have an overactive imagination

Pachy's avatar

For males, or at least for me as straight male, female underwear (i.e., panties, bras, slips, etc.) was one of the earliest ways I discovered sex and was able to express sexual feelings. The feelings those garments arouse now are no less tittilating than they were when I was a kid.

I’d be interested to hear a woman’s point of view on this.

Seek's avatar

Her boyfriend was present, hearing you talk about your exotic foreign delicates.

She was likely picturing him picturing you in your French lace.

Oh… wait… he wasn’t in earshot.

So… my best guess is that she is like me, and has a hard time shopping for undergarments – only the expensive stuff fits right, but can’t afford to get it… It’s very frustrating.

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