General Question

rockfan's avatar

21 year-old guy and I cry way too easily?

Asked by rockfan (3365 points ) January 30th, 2013

I have always been an emotional person. I remember when I was 13 and I saw Cast Away for the first time, I had to keep myself from bawling and embarrassing myself in front of my parents. I can even watch an inspirational TV commercial and be moved to tears. Last night I was thinking about visiting my old elementary school and I cried for 10 minutes thinking about how my life has changed.

Being a guy I find this embarrassing but have always thought of it as a strength, but I still try to hide my emotions, and I often get angry over alot of pointless things. Recently I have been unable to control it. Can anyone offer some sincere support or thoughts? And is my personality most likely a turn-off among women?

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32 Answers

ucme's avatar

Nowt wrong with a few tears, certainly nothing to be ashamed of, who cares about macho bullshit, be yourself & flourish.

HolographicUniverse's avatar

My friend

Being deeply emotional is not exclusive to one gender, it’s simply a personality trait and can even be directly linked to your “thinking style”. Do not be ashamed because being able to empathize and being attuned to your emotions can be very beneficial in certain areas of life.

Now you mentioned the tears being uncontrollable? If so THAT could be a condition but nothing severe. As far as women are concerned, I am a male but I doubt any female here will disagree that they prefer a man that they can establish an emotional attachment to. One who can identify with her feelings, will treat family as priority, and can be gentle with children. The popular conception of a man is reductive B.S., you are perfectly fine and somewhat better than alot of your male counterparts.

KNOWITALL's avatar

Some people are just more in touch with their emotions or even more sensitive, don’t get down on yourself, plus hormones are raging.

Listen to Jewel’s song “I’m sensitive”, and chicks WILL probably dig it, or at least some will.

Carinaponcho's avatar

Don’t be ashamed of your emotions. They are part of your identity. Embrace your emotions. If people have a problem with them, they are not worth your time.

wundayatta's avatar

So the credits are rolling on “Silver Linings Playbook,” and my daughter looks over at me and says, “Dad, are you crying?”

Well, yes I am and what of it?

I wasn’t always emotional like this, but I am now. It’s another one of the changes that has come thanks to bipolar disorder. But I am grateful for it, because I am more compassionate and empathetic now than I used to be. It helps me understand things I couldn’t understand before.

And if it causes me embarrassment—what of it? In any case, my wife likes it. I’m even more the sensitive newage guy she fell in love with all those years ago. Whoopededoo!

Really, it doesn’t matter. All that matters is finding people who like you for who you are.

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Pachy's avatar

Don’t be embarrassed. Be proud you can express your emotions. That’s more manly than hiding them. (I’m a crier, too.)

Carinaponcho's avatar

Cast away was a great movie. I can understand the need to cry after watching it.

bookish1's avatar

Dude, be proud of yourself. You have survived the cultural conditioning that men who show emotions other than anger are ‘pussies.’

I cry a lot too. Reading history books, watching movies, listening to the radio, seeing animals who need to be adopted, thinking about my childhood.

If it’s a matter of wanting to be able to have more control over when you cry, I discovered long ago that forcing yourself to yawn (just making the physical motion of it) will help pull some of the tears back in.

But really, do not be embarrassed for being an emotional or sensitive guy. Most of my best friends have fallen into this category. And there are plenty of women out there who will appreciate that in you.

ucme's avatar

A man that doesn’t cry is a man living a lie…I just made that shit up, me clever boy!

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livelaughlove21's avatar

I love crying – it makes me feel better; like stress relief or something. Cast Away always makes me cry, but it’s Marley and Me that tears me to pieces every single time.

Nothing wrong with being a sensitive guy!

Seek's avatar

Crying is a biological response to physical and emotional turmoil. It is normal, natural and healthy. And (at least some) women find it endearing.

rockfan's avatar

@wundayatta Loved Silver Linings Playbook too, thanks for the comment!

picante's avatar

I find great strength of character in a man who can openly express emotion. And I loved “Silver Linings Playbook”!

burntbonez's avatar

Many women say they love when men can express emotions. I think they mean it, although they also like strength. Sometimes it’s hard to tell when emotions are a sign of strength and when they are a sign of weakness. But a discerning woman will understand.

This is to say that your worry is understandable, but probably overstated. Be who you are. You may get shit for it, but you will be hurting yourself far more if you try to stifle your feelings. Being emotional is indeed a strength. We need more men who aren’t afraid to feel.

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Bellatrix's avatar

My husband is a strong man but he cries at sad films or when something bad happens to other people. I love this about him. He has a huge heart. Don’t be ashamed. Your sensitivity is a beautiful thing. Don’t ever try to suppress it and anyone who mocks you for it isn’t worth knowing.

the_overthinker's avatar

Awe, I like emotional guys. :). The anger though, hmm.. :s

cookieman's avatar

Dude – I cried at Flipper when I was a kid. I’ve cried at Hallmark commercials for years. I cry at movies, good television, and certain songs. I cried when we adopted our daughter.

And I’m the size of a linebacker with James Earl Jones’ voice.

Buy some more Kleenex. You’ll be just fine.

rockfan's avatar

@the_overthinker The anger mostly has to do with supressing my emotions. Which I’m not going to do any longer.

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Mariah's avatar

There’s nothing wrong with being a crier, and the only reason it’s “worse” when you’re a guy is because of bullshit cultural expectations.

I will however say that I have a male friend your age who is very negative about life and uses me as a sounding board and will literally just come over and cry for hours. That got old real fast. As long as the crying isn’t because of over the top negativity in your attitude, which is not at all fun to be around, I don’t think you’ll have this problem. And it doesn’t sound like that’s what’s going on with you.

jaytkay's avatar

@rockfan Yes, it can be embarrassing.

And if you can’t stop it, face it. That is manly.

I make a point of saying out loud, “Funerals, weddings, movies, birthdays, whatever. I am the first guy to cry.”

Shippy's avatar

I think you sound amazing. I also cried in that movie. Don’t change.

augustlan's avatar

My husband is rather like @cookieman… A giant guy, even a tad scary looking, and he’s a crier. It’s one of the things I love most about him. Accept that this is just part of what makes you, you. :)

Seek's avatar

@augustlan – mine, too, on all counts. Field of Dreams anyone? Works every time.

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NostalgicChills's avatar

All I can say is, you’re only human. I think men feel like they need to be “macho” all the time and that crying is considered wimpy by society. But in actuality, its normal and I think its good that you don’t hold everything in like most people do.
I don’t know about other women, but its not a turn off for me.

Random question- are you a cancer?

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