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ETpro's avatar

[NSFW] Size matters: You want it HOW long?

Asked by ETpro (34217 points ) February 1st, 2013

TGIF & Super Bowl Weekend to boot. So in the spirit of bowl games, let’s look at performance as it relates to the true behemoths among us.

Perhaps you remember the old joke (NSFW or to eat to, either). It tells of a beautiful sex pot who could never get enough. No matter how well endowed the stud, she invariably ended up begging, “More more…!”

Finally, in desperation, one of her stable of studs contacted a friend of his, Three-foot Willie, who wasn’t named that for his 6’ 9” hulking frame, but for his reputation for being more than even the most insatiable woman could handle. Willie agreed to hook up with the hottie. He met her in a motel room, romanced her a bit and after some making out, laid her on the bed, stripped and ready for action.

“I’m just going to give you 12 inches to start ‘cause most broads can’t take no more.”

At first it seemed to do the trick, but as her orgasm eluded her, she whimpered, “More, more!”

“Ok, here comes 24 inches.” Willie declared, shoving his monster member even deeper into her craving cavern.

Again, she took some time to absorb the shock of that much penetration, but still no moment of truth. “More, more!” she pleaded.

“OK then, here comes the full 36.” Willie warned.

“Ahs emuff! Ahs emuff!” the skewered gal gagged around the member now extending from her mouth.

Of course, really deep penetration into the vagina runs into the cervix and pushes it against the uterus, potentially causing cervical bruising and pain. But up the back road, things can go deeper. Has anyone ever taken a [NSFW pix] really well endowed man so deep in there that you could feel it put pressure on your diaphragm and force a bit of air out of your lungs with each thrust? If you have, hot or not? If you haven’t is it something you’d like to experience?

And no, I’m not fishing for dates. I’d fall far short of the mark needed to deliver that depth of immersion into anal coupling.

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29 Answers

Shippy's avatar

I once shagged a guy with a massive dong like an elephant. It hurt like hell. It was at least 20ft long and a meter wide. (OK, it felt that way). After we had shagged he asked ‘Ready for round two?’ I wanted to run screaming through the woods barefoot.

gondwanalon's avatar

(L. Mann/H. Glover)

It ain’t the meat it’s the motion
That makes your daddy wanna rock
It ain’t the meat it’s the motion
It’s the movement it isn’t the stock

Well, I got a girl that’s so darn thin
there ain’t much of her but bones and skin
one thing about her I can understand
she wraps all around me like a rubber band, baby

It ain’t the meat it’s the motion
That makes your daddy wanna rock
It ain’t the meat it’s the motion
It’s the movement it isn’t the stock

Well, I want a girl who’s built real fat
Kenny don’t like to see ‘em like that
But I like to see ‘em big and tall
The bigger the come the harder they fall

It ain’t the meat it’s the motion
That makes your daddy wanna rock
It ain’t the meat it’s the motion
It’s the movement it isn’t the stock

Well, I want someone who feels
like they got to have love
Love to look at the stars above
My little baby, I want you to know
She’ll bring me home all of her dough

It ain’t the meat it’s the motion
It ain’t the meat, uhm uhm uhm
It ain’t the meat, I say the action
That makes your daddy wanna rock

Bring it down one time
It ain’t the meat it’s the motion
It ain’t the meat, I say the movement, girl
It ain’t the meat, it’s the action
That makes your daddy wanna rock

(Find more similar lyrics on http://mp3lyrics.com/KkHT)

ragingloli's avatar

I find girth much more important.

wundayatta's avatar

You know, you may think that joke is funny, but that’s my life you’re laughing at.

Yeah, in real life, I’m Willie.

bookish1's avatar

I like em big. Girth is nice too. I’ve been with people with huge ones. Only once was I with someone who was too big for me, I’m talking well over a foot. Massive, even when soft. It was almost a handicap, I’m not sure how they could find pants that fit.

gondwanalon's avatar

@wundayatta Is you last name Johnson?

wundayatta's avatar

@gondwanalon No. For real. My last name is “Stud.”

ucme's avatar

Howie Long, or “needle dick” to his former lovers.

zenvelo's avatar

Reminds me of this dialogue:

(Richard Pryor to his woman) “I’m gonna find me some new pussy!

(His woman) “If you had two more inches you’d be finding some new pussy right here”

Mama_Cakes's avatar

I can’t handle the bigguns. I was once with a Polish/Italian guy and that painful. A good nine inches. Eight and under, please.

WillWorkForChocolate's avatar

I dated a tall, beanpole of a man, many years ago. He was hung like a flagpole. He was so damned big that sex wasn’t just tight. It was painful, every single time, and yes, he was totally rearranging my internal organs with that monster. Although I desperately mourned the loss of our relationship, I was grateful to never have to sleep with him again.

KNOWITALL's avatar

Had it, used it like a battering ram, was not impressed. I’ll stick with a lover who knows what he’s doing regardless of size of package.

wundayatta's avatar

It seems to me that a guy with a big cock who uses it to hurt a woman may actually dislike women. He might get off on hurting women. It’s a power trip, I think.

Willie Stud only uses his big cock to give pleasure. The women are lined up around the block for Willie Stud’s pleasure cruises.

KNOWITALL's avatar

@wundayatta I got the impression that a few ladies had made him feel he needed to nothing more than shove it, no finesse at ALL. Ah, one night stands- lol

wundayatta's avatar

@KNOWITALL I wouldn’t treat his motives so charitably. My guess is that at best, he didn’t care, and at worst, he was a misogynist.

KNOWITALL's avatar

@wundayatta Either way, he never got another date and I told my girls he wasn’t worth it. My other gfriend dated him a few months afterwards and said she loved it. She’s more of a “F(*& me” type though, I’m into making love baby.

wildpotato's avatar

I like them big, but then I’ve never been with one of these guys y’all keep saying exist, the dudes with less-than-impressive equipment but fantastic lovin skills. I mean, I’m sure there are a few extremely cunning linguists in every category of dick size, but in my (admittedly not extensive) experience the guys with small dicks were markedly less confident and sensual – and it makes sense to me that this would be a common correlation.

KNOWITALL's avatar

@wildpotato Just seemed like they tried harder to please me, not necessarily skilled, but they made sure I got mine you know?! Some guys could care less as long as they leave happy, blah.

ETpro's avatar

@Shippy Was size part of why you decided to bed him, or were other factors in charge, and the length and girth of your problem a late-breaking surprise?

@gondwanalon Smart lyrics. Reach out to the 99%ers and not just the 1%ers.

@ragingloli I imagine for vaginal penetration, girth is more important. The trick there is to be big enough to move the labia minora so that they stimulate the clitoris. The vagina itself is able to stretch to let a baby pass through. Not comfortably, mind you. But even the biggest shlong is nowhere near as big as a baby’s body.

@wundayatta If you want to claim that 3-foot-Willie is the story of your life then I’m not laughing at your life, I’m laughing at your claim. Guniess records the longest willie in history at 13.5 inches.

@bookish1 I had such a lover once as well, and that’s the genesis of this question. He had to be at least a foot long. And I did feel it push my diaphragm. It was sexy, panting without even trying to do so. That was back when I was living as a female, contemplating sex reassignment surgery. The memory of that feeling still haunts me today. It was HOT!

@ucme Yeah, Needle Dick finally settled down and married a gal named Neda. I hear they shagged happily ever after.

@zenvelo Ha! How true.

@Mama_Cakes Eight is Enough but going up the Hershey highway, really long, thin and firmly packed is best. Huge girth hurts.

@WillWorkForChocolate I can well imagine that could be punishing if it banged hard into your cervix. I can get into a bit of masochistic pleasure but there is a very fine line between hurts so good and outright ouch!

@KNOWITALL I tend to agree with @wundayatta that when a guy uses it like a battering ram even though your expression shows it hurts, he’s getting of on the sadism of it. It’s a power trip. But imagine the sparks that wold fly if such a well0endowed sadist hooked up with a deeply masochistic lover.

@wildpotato Experimentation is the key to finding out is cunning linguists really exist and are so skilled that size truly doesn’t matter.

@KNOWITALL That’s a true caring lover. To my thinking caring outweighs specs every time.

filmfann's avatar

Q: You want it HOW long?

A: For about 4 years now…

ETpro's avatar

@filmfann Consider yourself blessed. Going on 16 years here. No wonder I ask so many NSFW quetions. I can’t get it out of my head. I can’t get head. I can’t give head. I’m heading toward being the headless horseman without a horse.

filmfann's avatar

I once saw Red Skelton tell a story about an 80 year old man who went to the doctor.
He told the doctor “I want you to lower my sex drive!”
The doctor looked astonished. “You are 80 years old! You want me to lower your sex drive???”
“Yeah”, the old man said, pointing to his head. “It’s all up here! I want it lower!”

ETpro's avatar

@filmfann Well, like mom said, “Son, when all else fail, use your head.”

jca's avatar

@ETpro: I just learned something new about you: that you were living as a woman, contemplating gender reassignment surgery.

Shippy's avatar

@ETpro Well I could hardly examine it before I decided could I?

ETpro's avatar

@jca I’ve definitely lived a colorful life.

@Shippy Oh I don’t know, most guys that are hung life that are open to a bit of show and tell.

wundayatta's avatar

@ETpro Not everyone wants to end up in the Guiness book of world records. Just saying.

ETpro's avatar

@wundayatta I have no desire to be there, but probably should.

wundayatta's avatar

@ETpro It is what it is. And yours is what it is. I’m sure a lot of people should be in the GBOWR, but most of them have more sense than to publicize themselves. Like you.

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