Social Question

rojo's avatar

Can you "demand" respect?

Asked by rojo (15219 points ) February 4th, 2013

I heard something on the radio on the way to work where they stated that such-and-such a person “demanded” respect.

I have always thought that respect was something to be earned. You can demand all you want but if I think you do not deserve it you are not getting it from me. But, I differentiate between treating someone with respect and respecting someone for who or what they are.

What are your thoughts on this aspect of respect?

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21 Answers

gailcalled's avatar

You can command respect, speaking of usage.

Pachy's avatar

Nope. Got to be earned, at least in my experience.

wundayatta's avatar

You can demand, but that’s kind of like being a petulant child having a tantrum. No one gives in to such demands, except perhaps at the point of a sword. And if you demand respect using weapons, is that really the respect you want? It’s gone as soon as your weapons are gone.

SpatzieLover's avatar

You have to give it to get it.

burntbonez's avatar

I demand respect!

There. I just did it. Proving it can be done.

Next.

rojo's avatar

@burntbonez Damn! Outflanked!

rojo's avatar

@wundayatta If you demand it using weapons is it ever respect you get or just fear?

wundayatta's avatar

@rojo Exactly my point.

KNOWITALL's avatar

I demand respect in any of my ongoing relationships here or elsewhere, otherwise discourse is nullified.

picante's avatar

You can demand that respect be given (as others have now demonstrated), but you can’t demand the respect itself. I think this is likely a usage issue as Gailcalled stated—one can certainly command respect.

josie's avatar

I suppose. But where does it say you will get it?

ucme's avatar

I think the only scenario where this is valid is in the case of a foe/enemy, dangerous to underestimate & so forth.

Sunny2's avatar

In the military you can and get away with it. The disrespect just goes underground.

Gabby101's avatar

@rojo, I agree with you. You can insist that someone treat you with respect and/or your position in society or the workplace may command respect, but whether someone respects you or not is their decision.

woodcutter's avatar

The most insecure people tend to demand the most respect, er….respeck.

SadieMartinPaul's avatar

I think that everyone’s entitled to respect. But, respect can be easily lost through one’s words or actions.

marinelife's avatar

I don’t think that demanding respect will get you anywhere.

SadieMartinPaul's avatar

@marinelife I’m not so certain that demanding anything will get one anywhere. Maybe for the short-term, but not over a lifetime of peremptorial and self-absorbed behavior.

snowberry's avatar

I expect respect, and I will accept nothing else.

Works for me every time.

majorrich's avatar

In the Military demanding respect, especially a Lieutenant or even the odd Captain, almost guarantees fragging. It can be a fatal mistake particularly butter bars fresh out of OTS. Bullet wounds may come from the rear.

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